


I'd Give Up the Stars for You

by nyctophilia_outlaw28



Category: The Dark Artifices Series - Cassandra Clare, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare, The Wicked Powers Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Angels, Angst, Demons, Eventual Smut, Family Bonding, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Hiding, Investigations, Kissing, Love Confessions, M/M, Pining, Slow Burn, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-18
Updated: 2020-07-01
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:34:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 69,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24248143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nyctophilia_outlaw28/pseuds/nyctophilia_outlaw28
Summary: Kit Herondale has tried to stop it; the lingering ache that swells inside him at the mere thought of Tiberius Blackthorn. He does everything he can to erase it from his system, provoking a series of one night stands as well as attempting to drink his feelings away, but nothing seems to help. It’s been three years since Livvy Blackthorn died, and in a universe where Kit never left, he continues to grow up alongside Ty, trying to hide the depth of his own emotions. Ironically, in a world constantly facing demon attacks, Downworlder incidents, and intriguing investigations; the only thing Kit's afraid of is the boy with the grey eyes.
Relationships: Tiberius Blackthorn & Kit Rook, Tiberius Blackthorn/Kit Rook
Comments: 109
Kudos: 247





	1. Sunsets and Moonlight

The Los Angeles horizon blazed a true orange, the rest of the sky darkening to purple. The last remainder of sunlight sank below the sandy hills of California, igniting the final dust of clouds in bright crimson before twilight began to dissolve the dancing colors. 

Kit Herondale was reminded of the Los Angeles Shadow Market when he looked toward the West; the final clouds were assembled into figures that resembled ghostlike Faeries and growling werewolves. It had been only a week since he had last been to the market himself, not only because he was on a mission for Kelpie teeth (an object the Institute had needed for a spell) but because it brought him the sense of home, his only connection to childhood. 

It had been three years since he had moved into the Los Angeles Institute to become a Shadowhunter. Since then his life had changed drastically, becoming a strict schedule of training, studying multiple demon languages and fighting skills, as well as finding his place within the Blackthorn family. Or, at least, trying to fit in among them. 

“Kit,” a girl's voice laughed, snapping him out of his daze. “Are you alright?” 

He turned his head away from the sunset, reverting his attention to the girl in front of him. She had long, dark hair that fell in gentle tangles and brown eyes that were scanning his face tentatively. Runes and faded scars swirled along her pale arms, which was part of the reason he had approached her in the bar a few hours before. It was rare that he found a Shadowhunter girl he could bring back to the Institute, the majority of the time it was drunken mundanes, or even nymphs or werewolves, and Kit was forced to return to their apartments, where he found no familiarity. 

He nodded, passing his blue eyes over her. “Great.” 

The two of them were standing in front of the Institute steps, light from the sky illuminating them. Kit had invited her back to Institute only an hour before, and she had quickly accepted, trailing her dark nails along his collarbone. 

“Did you know,” Kit said, recalling her name in the back of his mind. “Your name means ‘torch of light’ in Greek.” 

Alena rose an eyebrow, the side of her mouth tilting slightly upward. “I believe you said that already.” 

“Did I?” He asked. It wasn’t much of a surprise. He had drunk more than usual tonight, enough to stay stable on his feet, but the edges of his vision were slightly blurred. He didn’t care what her name was, the only reason he recognized the Greek meaning of it was that Ty had been studying Greek names last month, repeating the syllables under his breath like each one was a prayer. 

Kit pushed the memory down, returning his focus to Alena. She didn’t look angry, more amused as she blinked up at him. 

Before Kit could invite her inside, she pushed him against one of the pillars that lined the stairway. He quickly responded to her mouth on his own, his hands coming up to wind in the dark curls that fell around her cheekbones. 

As usual, guilt clawed its way into Kit’s mind, but he blocked it out, instead beginning to kiss Alena quicker, more feverishly, urging the feel of her lips to stop the rising ache within him. It wasn’t anything new, kissing a girl (or a boy) before they found his bedroom, but it didn’t stop Kit from feeling like a complete asshole. 

_I_ am _an asshole,_ Kit thought to himself. Night after night, going to bars, clubs, parties, anywhere where other people were, to find _something_ to fill the brokenness that had consumed his being. To find _anything_ to decrease the unresolved _wanting_ that he was faced with every night he spent with the Blackthorns, in the Institute, anywhere where- 

“He won’t hurt you,” a soft voice said, moving toward the Institute steps. “I promise.” 

Kit instantly felt an unwanted burn rip through his body at the voice. He pried his mouth away from Alena to look toward the foot of the ivory stairs. She too, tilted her head, peering at the two silhouettes walking along the sand trail towards them. 

Tavvy Blackthorn was giggling at Ty, who was saying something in a shy, hushed voice. Ty was looking at his younger brother with a light in his eye, the way he always did when he was talking about something that interested him. Kit expelled a breath of air, trailing his gaze over Ty’s tousled raven hair and slender frame. 

A rush of energy hit Kit, snapping him out of the heady, light drunkenness that had been lingering beforehand. Now, it was like electricity was surging through his bloodstream. Adrenaline kicking up, he looked away from Ty, it was easier that way, less all-consuming. 

“Is that-” Alena mumbled, puzzled. “Is he holding a lizard?” 

Kit didn’t realize it until she said something, but Alena was right. A speckled lizard became apparent in Ty’s hands as he and Tavvy neared them. 

Tavvy scurried up the stairs, Ty following in his path. 

The younger boy’s blue-green eyes sparkled when he saw Kit against the pillar. “Kit, look! Ty found a banded rock gecko!” 

“It’s actually a banded rock _lizard_ ,” Ty corrected. He was now close enough that Kit could see his grey eyes that were lowered, staring carefully at the animal in his palms. Kit planted his hands at his sides to stop himself from reaching out to brush Ty’s charcoaled eyelashes that fluttered lightly in the late-night breeze. 

Tavvy ignored him. “We named him Scorpius.” 

“We found him in the boulders at the beach,” Ty explained. “Did you know that it's dorsum has blue spots, not only just the rock-like patterns? That’s how you can tell it’s a male because this one has more pronounced blue then a female would have. The lizards also have-” 

He froze, his grey eyes flashed upwards, to root on Alena. He shrank back into himself, seeming not to realize that Kit and Tavvy weren’t the only ones on the stairs. “Oh. Um, sorry, I didn’t realize… Am I boring you?” 

Alena seemed shocked. “No, no. Kit and I were just about to go inside actually, we can help you with- Scorpius, if you want.” 

“Oh,” Ty said. He seemed to be calculating something in his head, Kit watched his thumbs skim against the toughness of the lizard’s scales. 

Kit felt a piercing jolt go through him, a sudden surge to relax the nerves that Ty felt around strangers. “Actually, Alena let’s just head upstairs. The last time Ty brought an animal into the house it ended up biting Tavvy.” 

“That’s not-” Tavvy started, but Kit silenced him with a look. 

Ty visibly relaxed, starting into the house with Tavvy trailing behind him. 

Kit watched them walk away, his heartbeat slowing as he turned back to Alena. “Shall we get back to what we were doing before?” 

Alena answered by grabbing the collar of Kit’s shirt and pulling him against her, her lips resealing against his own. 

Breaking away, Kit started towards the door. “Upstairs?” 

She nodded. 

It was only afterward, once they both had stilled and Kit had turned towards the window, staring out into the night, that he allowed the thoughts that always seemed to come, consume him. The memory of hands like butterflies, a flash of grey eyes, thin lips, a delicate voice, dark hair that absorbed the night, and pale skin, flushed during the daytime. 

The fact that Tiberius Blackthorn was alive, alive, alive. 

And that Kit, although he had tried to stop it, to block it out with time, to push away the want that coursed through his veins, now almost as familiar as his own voice, was in love with him.

  
  


It was later that night when Kit woke up abruptly, the remains of an echoing nightmare in his head. It was the same one that had been happening throughout the past three years, not consistently, but every few months it returned, snapping his body into a cold sweat.

Moonlight filtered into the room, pale waves of light painting the contents of the area in black and white. From his window, Kit could see the roaring waves of the ocean, crashing against the sand like corpses crawling out from their graves. The sea looked black, ink-like water moving under the mournful haze of the moon.

Kit pulled on an old t-shirt and sweatpants, not bothering to glance backward at Alena, who would (he hoped) be gone in the morning before he woke up. He started toward his door and stepped out into the shadows of the Institute.

During the daytime the Institute was alight with laughter; the cheerful smile of Emma as she gazed at Julian, Tavvy giggling at syrup that he always made a mess of, Cristina and Mark talking in happy tones about meeting with Kieran later that day.

However, at night, it looked like something out of Dru’s horror movies.

Kit walked through the silent hallways, approaching the location he always went to when he had nightmares, the roof.

When he finally reached the ladder that stumbled up onto the trap door, he climbed up quickly. It was easy to find his footing in the dark light, it was as familiar to him as the hallways during the day.

Kit stepped out into the darkness, the only source of light was the moon and the light speckle of stars that scattered the sky. He shivered as the cool air hit him, it was the combination of the wind roaring down from the grassy hills of California and the gust that pushed up from the ocean.

To his surprise, Ty was sitting on the roof, and he was not alone.

Kit allowed himself the pleasure to look at Ty, just for a moment, because there was something so fascinating about someone when they didn’t know they were being looked at, when they were completely being themselves.

Ty’s dark hair matched the color of the sky and Kit exhaled, watching the strands at the nape of his neck swirl with the wind. He had known that the skin below it was soft, from the hugs that they used to share before Kit had stopped touching him.

He constantly avoided Ty’s touch these days, it was like Ty was the warmth of a campfire; beautiful and inviting but if Kit were to touch it’s glowing embers his hand would come back burned.

A grey aura seemed to be cast around Ty’s body, creating an angelic hue around him. Kit watched the wings of Ty’s shoulder blades, curved inward as if he were trying to shelter himself from the cold air.

Livvy Blackthorn’s ghost was floating in the air before Ty. Her dark hair, a few shades lighter than Ty’s, swirled around her pale face. She was transparent around the edges, she looked fragile in the moonlight.

Her blue-green eyes suddenly moved up, to link eyes with Kit. “Kit!”

Livvy started toward him, floating around Kit like a willow tree in the wind. Her white dress created a whirlwind around them. She was pretty, she always had been pretty, but there was something about the flickering edges of her figure that made her mournfully beautiful. She was a raindrop falling from the sky, astonishing in it’s doomed state.

“Livvy!” Kit greeted. “You haven’t been around here in a while.”

Ty had turned around, his grey eyes taking in Kit and the ghost of his twin.

“I haven’t,” Livvy agreed. “It’s getting harder to stay here, the only thing that’s connecting me to this world is Ty. It’s only when he calls that I can cross over.”

Kit was about to respond before Ty spoke, addressing Kit. “What are you doing up here?”

“Couldn’t sleep,” Kit replied. It wasn’t entirely the truth, but it wasn’t a lie either. There was once a time when it had been impossible to lie to Ty, but as Kit aged, it had become harder and harder to tell the truth.

Livvy swirled in the air, her brown hair twirling around her. “I was just talking to Ty about the lizard he found. Scorpius. He and Tavvy released it back into the wild before Tavvy went to bed. Did you get a chance to see him?”

Kit smiled, walking over to sit beside Ty, creating a space between them. Not too much to be uncomfortable, but enough that Kit could breathe correctly. “Slightly. I was a little bit preoccupied.”

“With what?” Livvy asked.

Ty laughed. “More like with _who_.”

Kit falsely grinned, looking away from the two Blackthorns.

“She was pretty,” Ty offered. “She was nicer to me than the last one.”

_Than the last one._

Kit searched Ty’s voice for bitterness or jealousy but there was nothing other than friendliness. He knew he shouldn’t be disappointed, it wasn’t like he expected anything less. Ty had never shown Kit any indication of beyond friendliness before and it was stupid to think he would start now.

Livvy let out a chorus of laughs. “The last one? Kit, are you sleeping around?”

“What can I say?” Kit said. “I’m a Herondale through and through.”

Her eyes gleamed, turning to Ty. “What about you, Ty-Ty?”

“What about me?” Ty asked.

Livvy clasped her hands together. “Anybody you’ve got your eye on?”

Ty blushed, the pink color stood out brightly against his cheeks. “You know I tell you everything. If there was anything to say, I’d say it.”

Kit let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. A mix of relief, as well as pain, swelled inside him.

“That’s ridiculous,” Livvy scowled. “Ty, you're gorgeous. Kit, the girls and boys must be all over him, right?”

Kit flushed. “I mean- whenever we go out, which is rare, but when we do, everyone's always looking at him.” 

_And I am,_ Kit thought. _I would rather look at him then look at all the stars._

“They look at you,” Ty added. “Not me.”

His hands were fluttering at his sides, clearly not comfortable with the situation. Kit spared a glance at Livvy and tried to alert her attention to stop prompting Ty with unwanted questions but she wasn’t looking at either of them anymore. She was facing the moon, the rays passed through her transparent frame.

“It’s strange,” Livvy said. “Talking about this. It makes me wonder, what I would be doing if I were still-”

She drifted off, but the unsaid word hung in the air, _alive_.

“Well,” Kit started, attempting to lighten the conversation. “You’re not missing much. I mean… just last week I got demon ichor on me and it left a scar in the shape of a mushroom! And then when I went to the bar later that night a girl came up to me and asked if I was a ‘fungi’!”

Livvy softened, her Blackthorn eyes returning to color. “That is such a lie.”

“Maybe,” Kit admitted. “But you liked it.”

Livvy thanked Kit with her eyes, then she let out a soft sigh and returned to looking out at the night sky.

“About before,” Ty suddenly said.

Kit allowed himself to look at Ty. His eyes were almost colorless in the moonlight, like a mirror reflecting the rest of the world in them. He looked uneasy, his breath was uneven and his hands were unfurling and refurling in his lap. Kit restrained himself from reaching over to grab Ty’s hand and brush a soft kiss against his knuckles.

 _Stop,_ he told himself. _No good will come of it._

“What is it Ty-Ty?” Livvy asked, running an unsolid hand against her brother’s cheek. Even in death she still expressed her love for Ty.

“I-” Ty began. “I don’t want either of you to- to think I’m weird. I mean, for not having met anyone. I know I’m eighteen and it’s sad that I haven’t-”

“No,” Kit said. “You have nothing to be ashamed of.”

Ty wasn’t looking at him, but at the ground below the Institute. “It’s just… there’s no one I _want_.”

Pain, sharp and shameful, spiraled around Kit.

Livvy spoke before Kit could say anything. Which was good, he thought. He didn’t think he would be able to say anything anyway.

“Ty,” Livvy gently worded. “When the right person comes along, you’ll _know_. Until then, you have to wait. Or else you’re going to end up like Kit, sleeping with half of Los Angeles...”

It was meant to be funny but nobody laughed.

“Besides,” Livvy added. “Until then, you’ll always have me. And Kit. Right Kit?”

Kit nodded, trailing his blue eyes toward the ocean.

He had thought many times about leaving the Institute. To escape the forsaken feeling he got whenever he was around Ty. But, he knew deep down that if he left, nothing would change.

_It will destroy me if I stay and it will ruin me if I go._

They stayed up on the roof, the three of them, talking by the moonlight until sleep overcame and Ty and Kit retreated into the Institute and Livvy disappeared into the stars.

“Goodnight,” Ty said softly, standing at the foot of the ladder leading up to the roof.

“I love you,” Kit replied, but all that came out was, “Night.”

Kit stood and watched Ty’s retreating figure until he disappeared into the shadows. Then, he went back into his room and laid next to a sleeping Alena, falling asleep to her breaths, trying to block out the memory of grey eyes that threatened his dreams.


	2. Beaches, Sunscreen, and Demons

In the morning, Alena was gone, the sun promised the start of a golden day, and Kit was starving.

He filed into the kitchen after he woke up, pulling on a grey sweatshirt ( _not_ the same shade as Ty’s eyes, he couldn’t help but notice, only a few shades lighter, and then he cursed himself for noticing in the first place).

The kitchen was crowded. Julian was at the stove making pancakes, Tavvy darting around his legs with prompting questions. Emma was laughing at something Mark was saying, and Cristina, seated beside him, was making conversation with a joyful Dru.

The only people that weren’t in the kitchen were Helen and Aline, who Kit knew had both reported to Idris for a Clave meeting, and Ty.

Kit sat at the table, smiling at Dru.

“Kit,” Dru greeted. “You and I are patrolling tonight.”

“I don’t know Dru,” Kit laughed. “I don’t think you’re going to be able to keep up with me.”

“Keep up with you?” Dru remarked. “It’s _patrol._ Not a goddamn race.”

“Dru!” Julian warned, swooping down to cover Tavvy’s ears.

Emma laughed, her blonde hair glinting in the morning sunlight.

Tavvy squirted away from Julian, looking up with him in annoyance. “I know what goddamn means Julian.”

Cristina let out a small gasp, her brown skin flushing with surprise. Dru was still glaring at Kit, and he was trying to hide a smile behind a cup of orange juice.

Julian began scolding Tavvy and Kit turned back to Dru.

“I was kidding Dru,” he said.

Dru smiled a sharp grin. “Better have been. Besides, I could run circles around you _any day._ ”

“Damn right you could,” Kit sarcastically responded. He was smiling now.

“Kit!” Julian yelled.

“What?” Kit said. He innocently ran a hand through his blonde hair of curls. The Herondale ring felt light on his finger.

Tavvy had begun to repeat the word ‘damn’ over and over again, a result of Kit’s swearing.

Upon realizing this, Kit jolted upright. “Shit! I mean-fuck! I didn’t mean to- ugh.”

Julian looked horrified.

Dru, who had been drinking some sort of tropical juice that she loved, had frozen in place. Emma burst out laughing, at which, Julian relaxed slightly, and Mark and Cristina exchanged amused glances.

Tavvy didn’t appear to hear anything Kit had said, thank the Angel, but he was still repeating the word ‘damn’.

Kit was about to open his mouth to apologize when Ty walked into the kitchen’s doorway. He had just taken a shower, which was apparent by the humidity curling his dark hair. He had his headphones on, which he hardly wore anymore. Kit found that his throat had gone dry.

Ty rose a perfectly arched eyebrow at Tavvy’s babbles before walking into the room and sitting beside Kit.

The smell of sandalwood and soap overwhelmed Kit as Ty sat down. He tried to offer Ty a smile that said, _hey friend, I totally am not in love with you and your really good scent,_ but it must have appeared as an uncanny smirk because Ty’s eyes widened and he looked down at his empty plate.

On the other side of the kitchen, Julian had resumed his lecture on swear words to Tavvy.

“Everyone,” Mark said. “After breakfast, I was thinking about heading to the beach.”

Emma looked surprised. “Okay… And?”

Mark seemed taken aback. “And I was wondering if you all wanted to come with me?”

Cristina leaned against him, laughing into his shoulder.

“I do not understand,” Mark said. “What is so funny? I was thinking we could pack a picnic, some beach toys for Tavvy, towels for everyone.”

When no one answered him he appeared even more confused. “No one thinks that’s a good idea?”

“No, no,” Cristina quickly responded. Her bracelets jangled as she talked. “It’s a lovely idea. It’s just that-”

Emma cut her off. “Um, Mark, don’t you think we can do something a little more productive? Like, I don’t know, train?”

“You train all the time,” Mark reasoned. “Besides a little family time would be good for us all.”

“True,” Kit added.

Mark brightened.

Kit smiled back at Mark, his Herondale eyes gleaming. “It’s not like we eat breakfast together _every day.”_

Mark sat back, deflated.

“It’s just that,” Emma laughed. “I wouldn’t ever say, ‘hey, I’m a Shadowhunter, I fight demons and eat picnics on the beach, have we met?’ You know what I mean?”

Ty was moving his eyes between Mark and the rest of the table, taking it all in.

“That’s ridiculous,” Mark finally said. “We can’t have just _one_ family day?”

“We can,” Kit smirked. “Only one day of the year, ‘national no demon-family day’, it’s on the 8th of June.”

“I’ve never heard of that before,” Ty admitted.

Kit leaned closer to Ty, his lips brushing against the dark curls of Ty’s hair. “Sarcasm.”

Ty nodded, flushing at his misunderstanding.

“I want to go to the beach!” Tavvy perked up from where he was standing.

Julian still had his hands in fists. “Tav…”

Dru nodded in agreement. “Mark is right, we’ve been training this entire month. Plus, there’s been a limited amount of demons in Los Angeles recently, so now would be the best time to do it.”

Mark straightened, his eyes lighting up between his two siblings.

Kit saw Ty studying his brother, grey eyes looking him up and down, understanding his happiness at people agreeing to him. “I think I’d like to go. So will Kit.”

Kit gasped, spinning toward Ty, with fake anger on his face. Ty was smiling back at him, looking at Kit’s temple, not directly in his eyes. Kit, in fact, _did_ want to go to the beach. Not just for Ty, but because it was something so utterly mundane that it brought him a sense of comfort.

“I’m in,” Cristina cracked. She stared at Emma, convincingly speaking with her dark eyes. Emma took only a second before she was laughing and nodding her head.

Mark looked happier than Kit had ever seen him.

“Julian?” Emma asked. She blinked up at him through her dark eyelashes.

The anger in Julian seemed to run out of him with their exchange of eye contact, and he raised his hands in surrender. “Alright. But _only_ if Tavvy and _everyone_ else while Tavvy is around stop’s swearing.”

Emma looked at him with heart eyes. “And if anybody swears in front of Tavvy, we will yell ‘Idiootti’!”

Kit turned to Ty. “Idiot in what language?”

“Finnish,” he replied.

Everyone nodded abruptly and Tavvy ran to take his seat at the table beside Julian’s empty chair.

“After breakfast, everyone get changed. Ty and Kit, you get the towels. Cristina and Emma will pack lunch. Dru, search for the beach toys with Mark. And I’ll find the sunscreen,” Julian announced. He stared at each of them as he addressed their names.

They all watched as Julian rounded to finish the pancakes.

Before they could resume their conversation, Julian let out a yell. “Shit! The pancakes are burnt!”

The table all exchanged glances before they shouted in unison. “Idiootti!”

****  
  


Finally, four hours later; taking so long as a result of a new batch of pancakes, lost sunscreen, and not enough towels, they headed down to the beach.

The beach was scattered with small groups of people, all fairly spread out underneath the golden California sun. Kit was glad for the dark pair of sunglasses he wore, he feared without them his blue eyes would change colors from the scalding light source. Ahead of them, gentle aquamarine waves caressed the sand, so different from the treacherous waters of the night before. The temperature had risen since earlier that morning, Los Angeles had always had hot weather, and Kit could feel the sweat against his neck, staining his pale hair darker.

They set down all their supplies in the middle of the sand, in a safe part high enough up from the water but close enough that they wouldn’t have to travel far to go in. Kit found himself staring at the ocean, searching for dark figures roaming beneath the surface. He had encountered sea demons a few years before and fought them off with only getting a small scar on his arm. It surprised him slightly that he was looking for them, it proved that with time, Shadowhunter habits had adapted within him.

The group laid down their ten towels on the sand (Mark had demanded they bring two more for extra space) and settled their two coolers in the center of the cluster. Kit watched Ty set up an area for himself near the array; he had his own umbrella tucked into the sand and a small beach chair beneath it.

Tavvy had already broken away from the others, exclaiming he was going to make a sandcastle and running down to the water’s edge. Emma pulled a beach ball out of her bag and signaled for Cristina to hit it back and forth with her. Julian was walking around, making sure everyone had sunscreen on, a towel tucked beneath his arm.

Kit started over toward Ty, who was settling himself into his heavily shaded chair. Kit couldn’t help glancing at his bare chest, his slender muscle rippling as he breathed.

Ty tilted his head up at him. Kit was grateful that his sunglasses concealed his blue eyes, and that the heat could easily be blamed for the red on his cheeks.

“What are you reading?” Kit asked, genuinely interested in Ty’s choice of book.

“The Return of Sherlock Holmes.”

Kit smiled. “Wow. You like Sherlock Holmes?”

Ty laughed. “Do you need help with that?”

“What?”

Ty gestured down to the sunscreen that Kit was holding. “I can put it on your back if you want.”

Kit immediately stilled. He felt his pulse start beating heavily against his wrist.

“Kit?” Ty asked, suddenly looking concerned.

“I-uh,” Kit stuttered. “Yeah. Yes, sure!”

Ty approached him and took the sunscreen out of his hands, applying some to his palms. “I remember the last time we went to the beach, your back was the color of a crustacean by the time the day was over.”

“Herondales have delicate skin apparently,” Kit said. “Plus, I can always say that my sunburn is a demon bruise. You know, how demons can make bruises! With all that fighting everyone gets a bruise and I would too! So that’s what I would say!”

Kit willed himself to stop rambling, he sounded ridiculous. He turned his back to Ty, closing his eyes as Ty’s hands began rubbing the substance across his tanned skin. Kit bit his lip to resist moaning out at the touch of Ty’s long, slender fingers. That’s how good his hands were! In the back of Kit’s mind, he couldn’t help but wonder what else Ty’s fingers would be able to do…

“Kit?” Ty asked from behind him, hands stilling to rest against the blades of Kit’s shoulders.

“Yeah…” Kit lazily replied. 

“So what do you think?” Ty said.

“Huh?” Kit drawled.

Ty’s hands fell away from Kit’s shoulders and he turned around to face the dark-haired boy. “About going to look for sea urchins in the tide pools later?”

“Oh,” Kit said. “Yeah. That would be great.”

Although Ty had backed away, Kit could still feel his hands rubbing against his back, leaving invisible traces of searing ash. It was the first time Ty had touched him in months, the first time Kit had _let_ him touch him in months, and he immediately cursed himself for allowing it to happen. It would do no good, he knew, not for himself and not for his friendship with Ty.

Ty smiled before he headed back towards his spot in the shade.

“Kit!”

Ty turned his head toward the cluster of towel spreads. Mark was tanning, his blonde hair the same color as the sand. Dru was above him, standing and gesturing for Kit to come with her to the water.

He started towards her, and the two of them ran to the water’s edge.

Kit wadded into the water, he had taken his sunglasses off and allowed the cool water to overtake him as he dove under the teal waves. He surfaced after a moment, to see Dru still at knee-length water, shivering at the cold.

“It gets better as you come out,” Kit yelled. He swam towards her. He had always been a good swimmer, his body was built for it, long legs, and broad shoulders.

Dru shrieked as he neared her and splashed a handful of water at her.

“Kit _Herondale,”_ Dru seethed. “I am going to go full Jaws mode on your ass.”

He raised a teasing eyebrow at her. “Come and get me.”

Kit flung another splash at her and she screamed before she _lunged_ at him and pushed his head under the water. Once under, he smiled, thinking, _so this is what it’s like to have a younger sister._

Out of everyone in the Institute (aside from Ty) he had grown the closest to Dru in the past three years. He had taught her how to pick locks, they had (when he didn’t already have plans with Ty) trained together, and their occasional sibling-like banter never failed to increase Kit’s mood.

When he returned to the surface for air, Dru’s hair was wet, the brown waves tangled with seaweed and drenched with seawater.

He coughed up the very little saltwater that he had in his mouth before Dru had dunked him, and was about to say something sarcastic about the seaweed in her hair when her expression became very serious.

“Do you like Ty?” Dru asked.

“Of course I like Ty,” Kit replied. “He’s my best friend.”

He knew what she was asking, but he refrained from admitting it right away. The question had triggered a spasm in his lungs, and he suddenly felt as though he had swallowed much more water than he had let himself believe.

Dru sliced her blue-green eyes into slits and gave Kit a dark look. “You _know_ what I mean.”

“I-” Kit started but he stopped himself before he could finish.

As they talked they were unawarely moving farther and farther away from the beach.

Dru crossed her hands in front of her bathing suit. “I wasn’t sure. I’ve been thinking about it for a while, I thought it was maybe just the way you acted around Ty, because of his differences, but the look you made when he was putting sunscreen on just now- Kit, it was written plain on your face.”

Kit felt heat come to his cheeks and he was faced with the mortifying want to dive under the water and never surface again. “I- yeah.”

Dru beamed. “I knew it! Wow, I feel like Nancy Drew, Ty would be so proud!”

“No,” Kit began. “Dru, you can never tell _anyone._ Ty’s my best friend, and I wouldn’t ruin that for anything. If he found out I can’t even imagine how humiliating-”

“Kit,” Dru caught him off. She shook her head in mischief. “How do you know he doesn’t like you too?”

“We were talking on the roof yesterday,” Kit admitted. “He said that he didn’t want anyone that way.”

Dru opened her mouth to reason with him but he stopped her.

“Dru, _no._ Ty doesn’t and he hasn’t and there’s no point in pretending that he does.”

She looked sad, like she looked when a character in a horror movie died. “Ty is shy. You _know_ that. You just need to show a sign that you like him and then maybe…”

“End of conversation,” he finished. “Now, how about I teach you to sneak up on a fish?”

“A fish?”

“Yes. Salmon, trout, bass. Any of the above.”

“A _sea_ bass,” Dru corrected. 

Kit pulled a piece of seaweed from her hair. “What would you know about fish?”

She shrugged. “ _Ty_ loves animals. He also loves music and mysteries and probably _you_ so-”

He drenched an array of water over her before she could finish her sentence.

Drusilla rubbed her eyes to extract the saltwater from them. He watched as she looked up at him determinedly before her gaze moved to something over his shoulder and her expression turned into one of pure horror.

“Kit-” She started, but Kit had already turned around to see what had struck fear in her.

Beneath the surface of the water, was a dark figure, almost eighteen feet long with multiple tentacles descending from a single source in the center of it. The central source was where its mouth was located, and Kit could see the spear-like fangs that erupted from its jaws.

_“Go.”_

Dru had already started toward the beach though, calling Kit’s name as she moved back towards her family.

As much as Kit wanted to follow her toward the beach, he knew if he didn’t stand his ground and draw it off, it would get both of them. It was still a few feet from him, Kit had time. He quickly dove underneath the water’s surface, searching the sandy ocean floor for a rock or a stick or _something_ he could use as a weapon.

He knew Emma had brought Cortana to the beach, she never went anywhere without her sword, but Dru needed to get to the shore to warn her first, and if Kit didn’t stall off the sea demon now, Dru could be dead just like Livvy.

And Kit would be _damned_ if he let that happen.

His left hand enclosed on a small rock, no bigger than his hand, but it would have to do on short notice. He returned to the air, gasping for breath, turning his head to locate the sea demon. It was closer now, coming towards him, jaw’s outstretched. It’s dark mass blurred across the water like a parasite.

Kit glanced over his shoulder, Dru was near the shallow parts of the water, but it didn’t appear as anyone had spotted her fearful expression yet.

The sea demon was upon him now, it’s tentacles reaching towards him in dark slashes under the water. Kit narrowly avoided the swing of the first tentacle, the second one aimed for his chest and before it could hit him and knock him spinning sideways, (a way for it to have an angle to drown him at) he swung the rock at the tentacle.

Needless to say, it didn’t do much. When the impact from the rock didn’t appear to work, Kit made a quick decision and wrapped his arms around the tentacle. The sea demon didn’t seem to expect it, and Kit used that advantage to grab hold of another tentacle and wrestle the two with his arms in order to knot them together. It wouldn’t last forever, but it would buy him time while the sea demon tried to unwind its limbs.

He frantically looked back to shore, to see Dru running up the beach. Julian seemed to take sight of her first and he shouted to Emma, something Kit couldn’t understand from so far out. He watched as Emma rushed toward the towel cluster, searching for Cortana, Kit assumed. Mark meanwhile had risen from his tanning and was cupping his mouth to yell, “Shark! Shark in the water!”

Kit knew it was to keep the mundanes from witnessing the battle in the water as well as keep them from getting harmed. Not that they would be able to see the sea demon anyway, Kit thought. _Thank God for that, it was an ugly creature._

Kit smiled to himself, even in the face of death his Herondale charm managed to shine through.

Returning his attention to the task at hand, Kit tried to grasp the other tentacles but the sea demon had seemed to realize his plan and it brought a tentacle up underneath him, latching around one of his ankles.

It dragged him underwater, jerking him towards its open jaws. Kit’s eyes stung from the saltwater, but he forced them open, closing them would mean inevitable death.

In the back of his mind, he hoped Emma would hurry, but he knew she was scared of the ocean, and he wouldn’t be surprised if she didn’t suddenly dive in the water. Besides, the sea demon seemed to be pulling him farther out as it moved.

Kit pulled at the tentacle wrapped around him, and when it didn’t move, he remembered what Jace Herondale had told him about their ancestor, Will Herondale. 

_He was stupid,_ Kit remembered Jace saying, _He would bite vampires in the arm just to protect himself._

Kit knew it was the only way (he would run out of air before the sea demon tried to devour him) and although he didn’t know what it would do to him, he spun his body, using his strength to curl backward and sank his teeth into the flesh of the sea demon.

It loosened its grip, just slightly, but it was enough for Kit to plunge back towards the surface. He tried to make sure he didn’t swallow any of the demon’s blood, but he couldn’t stop it from staining his teeth.

He flew to the open air, swallowing the breeze, wincing as the demon blood dripped black from his mouth. Kit could make out the scene on the beach, mundanes running from their beliefs of sharks, the rest of the Blackthorns huddled together on the beach, in a circle which surprised Kit, but upon further glance he realized Ty, who had always been so quiet, so calm, was screaming from within his family’s grasps. They were restraining him, Kit realized, a pang rushing through him.

“Kit!” Emma was in the water, still far away from him but at least fully submerged. “Behind you!”

He turned around, looking downwards to see the teeth of the sea demon rising below him. It would be impossible to escape. Realizing what he had to do, he lay horizontally in the water, head downwards, trying to spread his body as long as possible.

When the mouth of the demon was close enough to touch, Kit curved, so his hands were on one side of the demon’s gaping throat and his feet were hooked around the other side of the mouth. Kit gripped his hands around the largest, most-swordlike tooth of the demon and, using all the strength he had within him, pulled. His vision was becoming blurred, possibly from the demon blood he had absorbed. Thankfully he had applied the Strength rune when he had woken up this morning and because of that, after several seconds the tooth detached from the demon.

The sea demon roared, it’s sound piercing through the dark waters.

Kit thought with all his being, _bitch._

Then he took it’s tooth and speared it through the demon’s head.

It slumped beneath Kit’s touch and disappeared into nothingness. Kit tried to focus on the blue of the water, but even that was becoming dazy, the blue looked like it was mixed with orange and yellow and pink. He didn’t know if it was being underwater for such a long time or if it was the result of the infecting demon blood.

Kit desperately swam toward the sky, toward the sunlight. When his head surfaced he could see Emma, still moving towards him, and beyond that, on the beach, where Ty had broken away from his family and was running toward the ocean, Mark following in his path.

The last thing Kit saw before he let the darkness that clawed at the edges of his mind overtake him was a blue wave, the same color as his eyes, as his head submerged underwater.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, thank you for reading. Feel free to write a comment. :) I particularly enjoy writing (and reading) Blackthorn family scenes, which made it fun to write this chapter. Next chapter will be up sometime tomorrow.


	3. How to Fix a Broken Boy

Kit woke to searing pain, originating from underneath his rib cage. His throat was dry and he felt feverish, like he had been sitting in the sun for too long.

Managing to pry his weighted eyes open, he tried to identify his surroundings. Everything was a sharp blur of color and light, although the room he was in appeared cut off from sunlight. Kit could make out the familiar ceiling of the Infirmary, stretching far above him in the dim lighting.

Before he could utter a single word into the silence, a sharp pounding started in his head and he pried his eyes shut, coughing and squirming underneath the sheets that covered his body.

Movement started beside him and Kit snapped his eyes open to see a dark figure shifting around the bedside table beside him.

“Here,” the person said. “Drink this.”

_Ty._

He handed Kit a glass filled with clear liquid which Kit downed quickly, desperate to get something down his sore throat. The substance burned as it went down, reminding Kit of the serum he had taken a year ago after he had been punched by a warlock.

Ty appeared to be the only other person in the room, his head was bowed in the faint light, a hood drawn up over his face to conceal his hair. His hands were moving restlessly against a bunch of pipe cleaners that Julian had made for him years ago; his fingertips brushing and curling the wires. There were dark circles beneath his eyes and Kit couldn’t help but notice the disheveled state appeared to be in. He had the expression of someone who had just returned from a shipwreck, after weeks and weeks of remaining lost at sea.

“Ty,” Kit breathed. He handed the cup back to Ty who took it and set it to the side. “Did I- What happened?”

“You killed the demon.”

“No, I know.” The headache had lessened, but Kit still felt distanced, like he was staring at Ty with a pane of milky glass separating them. “I meant afterward. How long have I been out?”

“Almost four days,” Ty whispered.

“Four days?!” Kit tried to sit up, grasping at the sheets but Ty pushed him down with an arm.

“You swallowed demon blood,” Ty said. “You need to rest.”

Kit jerked his head towards Ty, the memory resurfacing. “I bit it. I had to- it was dragging me underwater and-”

“Why did you do it?” Ty asked. His voice was a thin wire.

“Do what?”

“Fight it off. You had no weapon, weren’t able to run… You should have swum toward shore.”

“It was too risky,” Kit explained. “It could have gotten Dru and then-”

“I know Kit!” Ty raised his voice. “But it _got_ you.”

Kit turned away from Ty to look at the ceiling. “I’m not apologizing for saving your sister if that’s what you’re asking.”

“I’m not,” Ty said. “I was on that beach. And I couldn’t get to you…”

Kit remembered Ty being restrained on the sand; Marks hands gripping his shoulders, Dru blocking his path, even Tavvy looping his hands around Ty’s waist. He had looked utterly powerless then, screaming for Kit.

Ty was frowning, the edges of his thin lips curling downward. “I saw you lose consciousness after you killed it and if Emma hadn’t been able to swim so fast then…”

His words trailed off but Kit could tell what he was going to say regardless. _You could have ended up like Livvy._

Ty was restless and the look on his face broke Kit’s heart. Tentatively, he reached out an arm and brushed it against Ty’s cheek. The other boy leaned into his touch, seeking the comfort the texture of Kit’s hand brought him. Kit held his breath, looking away from Ty while he touched his skin. It was all too much.

“I’m here,” Kit said. His raspy voice echoed through the silent room. “I’m fine.”

It was a few moments before Ty leaned away from Kit’s touch and Kit’s hand was grasping at empty air.

“So,” Kit mumbled. “I don’t suppose that the demon blood doesn’t have any consequences and I can just go about everything normally?”

Ty gave him a comforting smile. “No. We’re going to have to burn it out of you.”

“Burn it out of me?!” Kit leaned backward. “If you come anywhere _near_ me with a blowtorch Tiberius Blackthorn then I will not hesitate to stab you with a dagger.”

“Not _that_ kind of burn,” Ty said. “We just need to heat you out of it. It won’t take long, I don’t think.”

Kit must have still looked confused because Ty rose a hand and pointed toward the fireplace in the center of the room. The flames roared from their chamber, the first time Kit had noticed the burning fire since he had woken up.

“We need to get your temperature up,” Ty said. “We need to sweat it out of you.”

It was true that the room was hot and that Kit was sweating. He hadn’t noticed it before, he _did_ feel like he had a fever, but he had assumed it was the side effects from the blood.

“Fucking hell,” Kit snapped. “Great.”

Ty explained to him the routine he would have in the next few days; hot showers, warm liquids, and always in a temperature-controlled room. He also handed Kit a heated blanket, something he would need to wear whenever he wandered around the Institute.

Cristina had come in later, boiling soup on a tray she carried, a dark red color. As Kit slurped the burning contents of it, she warned him the next few days would contain a myriad of headaches, sleep, and pain for him. The demon blood would come up his throat, morsel by morsel until it was all dried up. Thankfully, she informed him he hadn’t swallowed that much, but it would still acquire a few days' worth of rest to remove the black liquid from inside him.

When Cristina and Ty had both left, (Ty had wanted to stay but Kit had forced him to go, he wasn’t blind to the tired eyes that Ty was battling) Dru came into the Infirmary.

“Dru,” Kit smiled. He was finishing up the last of the soup, it dripped down his chin.

She was wearing a black shirt with the words ‘Jason or Michael’ written on the front in bold letters. “I am so, so sorry Kit. I tried to get Emma as fast as I could.”

Kit laughed, wiping his jaw. “I’m fine, really. Besides, I killed that bastard anyway.”

Dru snorted. “Don’t get so cocky, Christopher.”

“Me?” Kit grinned. “Never.”

“Are you going to be okay?” She asked. “I know you’re on a heat binge, but I’m worried about after you start getting it out of your body. Demon blood is said to burn.”

“I think the next few days are going to be filled with burning,” Kit played off. “I think I can handle it.”

“Whatever,” Dru said, but she seemed to brighten up anyway. “Did you hear about the investigation that’s happening?”

“The investigation?” Kit tilted his head. “Ty must be thrilled.”

She ignored him. “It’s about the sea demon. Helen and Aline returned from Idris a few days ago and when Julian told them about the solo demon, they seemed morally concerned.”

“That a sea demon came out of nowhere and attacked?” Kit paused. “Yeah, me _too.”_

“That’s partly it,” Dru said. “But it was traveling _alone._ Not to mention it was in shallow waters.”

A voice chimed from the doorway. “A minor _Dagon_ offspring. They’re known to be deep-water demons and travel in packs. Which is exactly what makes this case so unusual.”

Kit and Dru whirled to the source of the words to find Jaime Rosales leaning against the Infirmary’s doorway. He was dressed casually, in jeans and a t-shirt, a smirk painted on his nonchalant face.

“Jaime!” Dru squealed. She ran to his arms, leaving Kit to wave from the bed awkwardly.

Jaime greeted Dru with open arms. “Drusilla!”

As the two hugged, Kit thought back to the last time Jaime had come to the Institute. It had been Cristina’s birthday, and he had only stayed for a short week.

“What brings you to the Institute?” Kit asked when the two finally stopped embracing.

Jaime straightened, moving away from Dru and starting towards Kit. “I heard a certain Herondale was turning into a demon.”

“Really?” Kit grinned. “I thought Jace already _was_ a demon.”

Dru rolled her eyes, looking between the two. “The sarcasm you too have combined is rather annoying.”

Jaime grinned, his dark skin beaming. Kit tried to smile but before he could a wave of heat crashed into him and he was coughing abruptly, dry heaving with twitching hands.

When he stopped Dru was looking at him with pity, and Jaime looked disgusted.

Kit shot Jamie a friendly glare. “Want to check my throat for me, J?”

Jaime looked astounded. “J?”

“But seriously Jaime,” Dru repeated. “What are you doing here?”

Jaime turned to her. “Cristina fire-messaged me. She said that it’s about the demon attack. It appears Helen and Aline are convinced that something darker is going on under the surface.”

“And they called _you?”_ Kit said, he brushed a stray curl out of his eyes. “No offense but couldn’t they have called, I don’t know, maybe Jace?”

Jaime scowled. “Herondales. Caring about their own family name and no one else since the 1800s.”

“That’s not true,” Dru chimed. “Kit cares about the Blackthorns. One _specifically_.”

Kit resisted the urge to throw her in the fire.

Jaime raised an eyebrow but didn’t press. “After Kit gets well, I assume we’re going to address the situation. And what we need to find out in order to do so. Until then, I’m just here to be good company. which I am, everyone loves me.”

“Oh Jaime,” Kit sarcastically moaned. “Won’t you lay by my bedside and talk to me _all_ night?”

Dru snorted. “Jaime would you _please_ braid my hair with your wonderful hands!”

Jaime crossed his arms in front of his chest, narrowing his gaze on Kit. “I hope you choke on your demon bile.” Then he turned to a smiling Dru. “And I hope your laptop breaks. No more movies for you.”

“What a disaster,” Kit cried. “Then she would actually have to _talk_ to you.”

Jaime fake laughed and waved over his shoulder as he exited the room. Dru turned to Kit, who was already laughing hysterically. She joined him in laughter. Kit had just begun to calm down when he turned his head to the side and rapidly started coughing up black demon blood.  
  


The next three days passed quickly; Kit slept most of the day away, only waking up to be escorted to the restroom (he was too weak to walk all the way there), eat the burning liquid Cristina and Emma brought in shifts, and hack up black blood.

Ty came in his room every day, reading silently by his bedside and talking to Kit while he ate. He told him about his days; the animals he had found (he even brought a sparrow in to show Kit on the second day) and any demon-related incidents that had occurred. Kit couldn’t help but admire the faint flush on Ty’s cheeks as a result of the heated room. It brought color to his pale face and something inside Kit’s stomach slowly flipped over.

On the fourth day, Kit had regained his strength. He was still slightly sickly looking, he was aware of the bags beneath his blue eyes, but although he still coughed up (a very, very little) amount of demon blood, he had enough energy to join the others in the library.

Helen, her hair hanging past her shoulders, was searching the bookshelves with Dru, Mark, and Julian for books on sea demons. Jaime and Emma were plotting map points, trying to see how far the demon had moved from its original location, and Cristina was floating around the room with Tavvy as he showed her his favorite books.

Kit adjusted the heat blanket (that he was being forced to wear) around his shoulders before he walked over to where Ty and Aline were sitting by the Institute’s computer.

Aline smiled up at him as he walked over, her dark eyes shining. “Kit! Welcome to the world!”

Ty didn’t look up as Kit pulled a chair up beside him, a natural movement. Instead, he was staring at the pixelated screen. A tab was pulled up of demon blood and facts about it.

Kit turned to Aline, knowing Ty was too focused on the task at hand to explain the situation. “What are we trying to figure out?”

“We’ve been collecting the demon blood you’ve been coughing up,” Aline said, her dark hair swinging around her cheekbones. “We think we can harvest the blood and bring it to a warlock to perform a tracking spell. It should, if the spell works correctly, lead us to the former pack of the sea demon as well as any other sea demon that shares the same blood as it.”

Kit nodded. “What are we hoping to figure out about the location?”

Emma spoke from where she hovered by the plot points on the map. “We’ve narrowed it down to five areas where sea demons usually live. Two are near the area where we live, which would be realistic for a sea demon to come up to the shallows.”

“However,” Jaime interrupted. “The other two are extremely far from the location of the sea demon attack. Which means that, as we suspect, something more complicated is going on.”

Ty perked up from beside Kit. “If we can find a warlock willing to track the demon pack using a sample of the sea demons blood, we should be able to sail to the coast and find a sea demon to kill.”

“You mean,” Kit gasped. “That if we find the pack is not in one of the two close living habitats but the far ones… you’re going to sail out in the ocean to _willingly_ fight off a bunch of sea demons just to _hopefully_ capture one and take it back here, still alive, to study it.”

“We’re Shadowhunters, Kit.” Emma was the one who spoke, leaning against the wall as she said it. “It’s what we do.”

“That’s utter bullshit,” Kit said, not caring that Tavvy was in the room. “We don’t even have a lead.”

Ty looked pointedly at him. “We have unusual demon habitats. Not to mention that there have been more attacks on mundanes since your own.”

“There have?”

Julian nodded. “Same conditions. An individual in shallow waters.”

“So what do you think is drawing them out of the water?” Mark asked. It was the first time he had spoken since Kit had entered the room.

Helen squared her shoulders. “I think it has something to do with necromancy.”

The room fell silent. Even Tavvy stopped moving.

“Necromancy?” Cristina wondered aloud. “What makes you say that?”

“It’s some kind of force. A small one, but gaining power as time goes on. It’s small right now, but as the days go by, more demons are coming to the surface,” Helen said. “Magnus had an old spell book and he found old images of sea demons and evidence that they were attracted to the dark magic surrounding necromancy.”

Kit held his breath. Not looking at Ty deliberately.

Everyone seemed uneasy, nervous.

“But,” Helen breathed. “It’s only a theory so who knows?”

The tension in the room lessened slightly and a sharp ping ran through the air. Aline pulled her phone (she was one of the few Shadowhunters who had one) and read something that appeared on the screen.

“Aline?” Helen asked. “Who is it?”

“It’s Parmy Vox. The warlock. He’s agreed to do the tracking spell.”

“Excellent!” Emma clapped her hands together, the idea of danger appearing to excite her. “What are the conditions?”

“No conditions,” Aline answered. “He owes me a favor.”

“Thank the Angel,” Jaime said. “When is he planning to stop by?”

“He isn’t,” Aline started. “He says that the only way to do the spell is if it’s in his own household. I imagine it’s very powerful, searching the ocean for a single pack of demons with only a pint of blood.”

“So we have to go to his apartment?” Kit asked.

“His _mansion_ ,” Aline corrected. “Warlocks like their houses fancy apparently.”

“We need to do it as soon as possible,” Julian informed the room. “Before more demons start attacking. Shadowhunters all around Los Angeles have been alerted and are keeping watch on the coast, but we only have so many numbers.”

“So we have to do the spell tonight,” Ty stated. His grey eyes were bright, the way they always were whenever he had a mystery to solve.

“He’s having a house party tonight,” Aline said. “Semi-formal. As I said, this warlock, in particular, is very prestigious. Two of us could go there to witness the spell.”

Emma crossed the room. “I’ll go.”

Everyone started nodding, then Kit stepped forward as well. “I would also like to.”

Ty had frozen, looking concerned. “Kit, no.”

“I have not been on a mission in a week,” Kit reasoned. “And I was the one who killed the demon in the first place. Isn’t it fair that I should be the one to go?”

Ty looked ready to argue but Julian had already nodded and other agreements echoed around the library.

“Then I want to go instead of Emma,” Ty said. His hands were fluttering at his sides. Kit wanted to reach out and link his fingertips with Ty’s but he resisted.

Julian had opened his mouth to disagree but Emma had already started nodding. Kit could see the thought process of Emma in his head, _Ty is old enough and has better skill then Kit. Besides, they work well together and are practically inseparable. No fighting, just going to find a warlock._

Julian nodded and Ty beamed. He got up and walked to his older brother, leaning gracefully against Julian. Ty was as tall as Julian was now, and Kit thought they looked like two chess pieces; Ty with his black and white slenderness, and Julian with his luminous eyes and his light brown hair.

“Thanks Jules,” Ty said.

Helen grinned. “Great! So tonight you have to-”

She stopped herself when Kit bent over and coughed up a droplet, almost as small as a grain of sand, of demon blood onto the floor.

Ty looked at Kit worriedly, his grey eyes darting from the floor to Kit’s jaw.

Kit just smiled at them all, drying his lips. “Well, I think that’s the last of it.”

Dru was the first to start laughing. Jaime winked at Kit before he yawned and flicked his eyes not-so-casually to Ty. His look seemed to be saying, _I know about you._

Kit looked away, pulling the heat blanket from around him and throwing it at Jaime.

“I’m going to go shower,” Kit said. “What time do we have to get to the party?”

“Eight,” Aline stated. “I’ll show you a picture of Parmy before you leave. He’ll be expecting you.”

“Great,” Kit muttered before he ducked out of the library and headed towards his room.

His feet echoed in the empty hallway, each step seeming to be a different word; _you, Ty, suit, party_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone reading, it means a lot! Next chapter in a day or two. :)


	4. Drunk on You

“I don’t understand,” Ty said. “If he wanted to be called by his last name then why does his mailbox say ‘Parmy residence’?”

Kit followed Ty’s eyes out the car window to see that, as Ty had pointed out, the mailbox in front of the mansion’s gates read the warlock’s first name. He leaned back in his seat, facing Ty. Helen had ordered a limo for the two of them, claiming that Parmy Vox wouldn’t take them seriously if they didn’t show up in style.

Kit didn’t think the warlock was going to be watching from his window to see a pair of eighteen-year-old Shadowhunters arriving at his mansion, but he didn’t argue with Helen.

“Warlock’s are strange,” Kit replied, answering Ty’s earlier question. “We call Magnus ‘Magnus’ while everyone else calls him ‘Magnus  _ Bane’  _ as if the last name  _ has  _ to be addressed. It’s ridiculous!”

Ty was still staring out the window, taking in the scenery as their limo strolled past the gates and through the gardens, headed towards the entryway of Parmy Vox’s estate. “Helen said we are too call Parmy Vox, ‘Vox’ and absolutely nothing else. That’s why I was asking.”

Kit fought the urge to smile. “Still, there's Ragnor Shade who is actually Ragnor  _ Fell.” _

Ty turned to him, his grey eyes meeting Kit’s for a slight second before falling to settle on his nose. “As it may be unusual that he faked his death and switched his name, there isn’t confusion with what his title is.”

“I guess,” Kit thought. “If I had green skin, I’d probably fake my death too.”

“That’s rude,” Ty said. “And if you say anything like that to Vox then I no doubt think he will consider it rude as well.”

Differentiating from Ragnor, Parmy Vox had a violet tone to his warlock skin, something he didn’t bother wasting magic to glamour a normal skin tone. Kit remembered Ty’s lack of interest in the warlock’s skin color when Helen had first shown them the picture of him, explaining who he was and where to find him at the party. Kit, on the other hand, had gasped and inspected the picture closer. He had seen multiple things before, growing up in the Shadow Market, but it was physical traits that always managed to intrigue him most.

The limo rolled to the stop and Ty opened the door, thanking their driver. Kit flashed back to an hour earlier, when Ty had walked down the stairs; wearing a suit that matched his dark hair and a grey tie that was a shade lighter than his eyes. Dru had pushed Kit, who was a blushing mess, forward, and Ty had looked slightly surprised, taking in Kit’s outfit.

He had dressed in a dress shirt (he refused to wear a blazer) that was the same color as his eyes and dress pants that Dru had found last minute in her dad’s old clothes supply. He felt weird wearing one of their deceased parents' clothing but, to his surprise, the pants fit nicely.

“Kit?” Ty asked. He was out of the limo now, holding the door open. “Are you coming?”

Kit realized he had been staring and cursed himself. He exited the limo and followed Ty up the marble stairs. Strapped to his kneecap, underneath the fabric, was a plastic sealed supply of demon blood, and a dagger was wrapped around his upper left forearm. Just in case.

They followed the trail of guests into the house and entered a grand ballroom. Multiple chandeliers hung overhead shining crystal light on the dance floor. Figures were swirling around the open space; Kit caught sight of a vampire with glittering red eyes and a werewolf who had a harsh red scar on the side of her face. Multiple faeries, warlocks, and other Downworlders were leaning against the ballroom’s walls; sipping on tall glasses of champagne. Phoukas were acting as servers, passing out small handheld food platters.

“Do you see Vox anywhere?” Ty asked. His grey eyes were scaling the room, looking for a flash of violet skin.

Kit did the same but found nothing. “No. Do you think he’s being late on purpose? I’ve always heard the host comes to the party later than the rest?”

Ty looked confused. “Why?”

“I don’t know.” Kit was baffled, he couldn’t look at Ty, ignited in black and white shades, without blushing. Ty didn’t seem to notice, thank the Angel, and caught Kit off guard by turning toward him.

“Want to dance?”

“I- What?” The question had taken him by surprise. He probably looked like an idiot, with the blood high in his cheeks and eyes blinking furiously.

Ty seemed to notice Kit’s horrified expression and looked down at the floor. “I just thought it would pass time. Make us not look as suspicious.”

Kit righted himself. “No- yeah! You’re right.”

Ty smiled, taking his hand and leading him out to the dance floor where Downworlders swirled around them like ghosts. Kit’s arm had gone numb; burning from the small amount of contact Ty’s fingers had brought that curled around his wrist. He didn’t think he could breathe.

When they reached the center of the ballroom, Ty turned Kit toward him. Ty was taller than Kit, so he had to slightly lower his head to place his hands. His slim, but also muscled, arms curled around Kit’s waist. Kit held a gasp in his throat and didn’t move, just stared at Ty with cold fear.

“I don’t know how to dance,” Kit admitted.

Ty didn’t seem surprised, he looked oddly focused. “That’s okay, we can sway. Put your hands around my neck.”

Kit awkwardly wound his arms upward, until they rested on the nape of Ty’s neck. Kit was shaking, he realized with a start, his arms tingled against Ty’s shoulders.

“Are you okay?” Ty asked, his dark hair was lazily falling in his eyes, and Kit was hit with the sudden urge to brush it out of the way. “You’re shaking.”

“After effects of the demon blood,” Kit lied.

Ty nodded. Kit was still frozen in space, staring up at Ty who was trying to lightly swing his body in an attempt at dancing. Kit found himself following along, trying to push as much distance between Ty and himself without it becoming noticeable.

“Move closer,” Ty whispered, voice so low Kit wasn’t sure he heard him.

Kit felt drunk, like he was spinning on a bar table. “What?”

“Closer,” Ty repeated. “I need to feel you. I get uncomfortable around all these people and-”

It was for comfort, Kit realized. For a split second, he had thought… no, it didn’t matter what he thought. He would do anything to make Ty happy, anything to make him feel calm in this atmosphere. Even if in the process it was doing things to Kit’s heart that made him want to flee from California and get as far away from Ty as possible while at the same time doing everything he could to make sure they were as close together as they could be.

Kit moved closer to Ty, close enough that if he slightly bent his head it would have been pressing into the soft part of Ty’s neck. The smell of sandalwood enveloped him and he let a small, barely noticeable sigh fall from his lips. Kit brought his thumbs to stroke on the underside of Ty’s skin behind his neck, where his dark hair met his spine. The skin was delicate there, and Kit felt Ty shudder against him at the press of his cool hands.

“Is this how you dance with the people you bring home every night?” Ty questioned. Kit couldn’t see his facial expression, where his head rested in the groove between Ty’s ear and shoulder. Ty’s voice was soft, just like his skin.

Kit felt so, so far away. “No.”

Ty didn’t respond right away. Kit closed his eyes, _ if he let himself savor this moment, just for a second then- _

“How do you?”

“What?” Kit asked. He couldn’t focus, his nostrils were filled with the heady, intoxicating smell radiating from Ty and the rest of his mind had stopped working.

Kit felt the press of Ty’s cheek, lying against his pale hair. “How do you dance with them?”

_ Did he forget about the 'I don't know how to dance' part? _

“I never dance with any of them,” Kit said into Ty’s neck. He was close enough to see the pulse throbbing against Ty’s skin. Kit longed to brush his lips against it, just for a moment, just to say he’d been able to touch Ty one time with his mouth. His eyelashes brushed against Ty’s skin and he was beginning to lean his lips toward the pulse, just to lightly-

Ty jerked away from him, leaving Kit’s lips a fraction away from touching his neck. “It’s Vox. He’s here.”

Ty pulled away from Kit, leaving the Herondale staring after him like a ghost. He blinked, four times, to regain the feeling of his body before following Ty into the crowd.

Sure enough, Parmy Vox was standing near the edge of the ballroom. He wore a grey waistcoat, buttoned-up tightly along his muscled body, creating an elegant contrast with his violet hues. His black eyes snapped up to them, like rattlesnakes, and he gave a deadly smile.

“Shadowhunters!” He greeted.

Kit was still half-dazed, but he managed a nod. “Vox.”

“Indeed,” the warlock laughed. “You have brought it, I’m sure?”

Ty, looking composed and beautiful, nodded.

“Excellent!” Vox turned away from them, walking towards an alcove that connected to another small, unoccupied room. “Follow me.”

Kit exchanged a glance of agreement with Ty, before they followed Vox into the room, swinging the door closed behind him.

“Let’s make this quick,” Vox sneered. “I have a rather exquisite party to get back to.”

“Of course,” Kit said hurriedly. He rose his pant leg up and unstrapped the bag of blood from his knee. “Here it is. A pint.”

Vox took the bag, his black eyes glittering dangerously. “And this is all the same?”

“Yes,” Ty answered. He was standing tall and alert in the cramped room. Vox was smaller than both of them, his head reaching a little above Kit’s shoulder. “We would like the  _ exact  _ location of where it originates from.”

“A blood pack,” Vox said, before mumbling incoherently. He strolled to the other side of the room where a vase of flowers was set on a table. He tipped the vase sideways, littering the counter and floor in plant water and white lilies.

The door opened behind them and the three immediately stilled, frozen in place. A servant’s head dipped in, a tray of sparkling glasses in his right hand. “Drinks?”

Ty shrugged and grabbed one. Kit did the same, desperate for some alcohol to fizz through his veins after the dancefloor incident. Vox waved the servant away, urging him to shut the door as he left.

Vox went back to muttering beneath his breath, pouring the entirety of blood in the vase.

Kit turned to Ty, who to his surprise, was quickly downing the drink until nothing remained. When Ty had finished he noticed Kit’s gaze and whispered something about blood making him nauseous.

It was ironic for a Shadowhunter to say.

“Vox,” Ty said, his voice surprisingly even. “Could you offer us any details on necromancy?”

Kit took a sip of his drink, the gold liquid burning his throat.

The warlock seemed offset by the question. “Anything specific you wish to know?”

“What potential effects could an act of necromancy impact on demons?” Ty said. His hands were moving restlessly at his sides, one still with his empty glass in hand.

“Necromancy is dark magic,” Vox finally said. “It has many deadly consequences. A piece is ripped out from the network of the universe. Anyone that deals with that sort of darkness has a cruel fate upon them for the rest of their life. The universe will play itself back.”

Ty had turned an ill shade of white. To avoid yelling at Vox, Kit took another gulp of his glass, struggling to identify what he was drinking.

He couldn’t help but notice, Vox did  _ not  _ answer the question directly.

Ty opened his mouth, possibly to continue his questions, but Vox didn’t appear to be focused on the room anymore. He had his eyes pried shut, mouthing incoherent words in different languages under his breath. Electric pink energy crackled in his palms and Kit was reminded of Magnus’ lighting like powers. Vox’s were sharper, less tranquil. Where watching Magnus doing magic was like bathing in a river, watching Vox was like staring into the eyes of a shrieking victim.

Kit couldn’t tear his eyes away from the scene before him. The darkness of blood that had been in the vase was now rippling, bubbling in the small container. Vox made a noise, somewhere in between a yell and a cry, and circled his arms above his head. Light seemed to flow out of him. His black eyes crackled with purple energy, the lights in the room flickered, descending everything into black and then a frantic white.

Suddenly, the vase holding the blood shattered, and Vox seemed lit from within; his eyes glowing, and power pouring out from his body.

Then the light faded and Vox seemed to return to himself. He pierced his eyes together with Kit’s, then Ty’s. “The demon pack is nowhere near the coast of Los Angeles.”

Kit felt distress swirl deep in him. So Helen’s theories were right, a necromantic force was attracting the sea demons toward shore.

Kit turned to look at Ty but the dark-haired male looked shaken, like he had been knocked off his feet.

“Where is the location?” Kit demanded.

Vox named a trench in the Pacific ocean and Kit thanked him for his help. Kit looked towards Ty again, but his friend still had the same blank look on his face. Why did he look like that?

“It was the drink,” Vox said, seeming to hear Kit’s unspoken question. “It’s going to affect you too, shortly. Not as bad, I don’t think. You didn’t drink as much of it.”

Kit moved towards Ty, grabbing at his blazer. “What is it doing to him?”

Vox grinned humorlessly. “It’s an intense drunkenness. It has a very quick effect. Has your friend ever drank  _ before? _ It seems to take a harsher impact on those who have limited alcohol experience.”

Ty tilted his head, his eyes were soft. “What does he mean, Kit?”

Kit cursed Ty’s goodness and pulled him out the door.

“Kit! I wanna dance,” Ty slurred. “We can sway again. Sway, sway, sway.”

Kit pulled him through the ballroom, avoiding the flirtatious wink of a faerie. “Maybe later Ty-Ty.”

He wasn’t sure why he had called him that, the nickname only Ty’s family called him, but Ty seemed to like it. His grey eyes lit up.

Only when they had finally reached the outside of the mansion did Kit stop to alert the limo driver, who was still ten minutes away, to come pick them up. Given that all the guests had filtered into the ballroom, the entrance was empty. The moon had risen, alone in the blue-black ombre of sky. Besides the moon, small torch lights illuminated the outside of Vox’s mansion.

“Kit look!” A drunken Ty squealed. “It’s a gargoyle.”

He was pointing up at the statues that lined the entryway. The red brick of the mansion was behind him, ivy swirled up the walls and if the drink weren’t starting to take effect for Kit- which it  _ was,  _ he could feel control of his body slip and the edges of his vision blur- he would have made a joke from the book, ‘The Secret Garden’.

“Tiberius,” Kit said, the name coming off his lips tasted like honey. He hadn’t meant to ask Ty anything, he had just wanted to say it. It was a beautiful name.

Ty seemed to understand this, moving toward Kit, then pausing to lean his graceful body against the wall. “Christopher.”

Kit fucking shivered.

Ty didn’t notice. He fluttered his thick eyelashes closed, the light breeze in the air gently touching them. “I’m glad you’re okay.”

“Me too,” Kit said. He came closer to Ty, leaning his body against the bricks as well. Their shoulders pressed against each other and below that, their ankles.

“Why did you stop?” Ty softly said.

“Stop what?”

Ty opened his eyes. They were dark, almost black in the absence of light. “Touching me. You used to all the time. When I was sad, when I was angry, when I was lost. You would touch my shoulders or hug me… It was like you understood everything I felt and knew exactly how to fix it. And now it’s like you don’t notice anything at all.”

“Notice what?” Kit forbid himself from answering the question directly. Even warlock drunk, he had that much ability.

“Anything,” Ty breathed.

Kit had been avoiding looking at Ty lately, that was why. Because when he did look at him it was like getting buried alive, trying to breathe air but unable to. It was almost worse, in a sense, then Emma and Julian’s love. Where they had been forbidden to be together at least they both  _ wanted  _ each other. At least they felt the same way. In Kit’s case, he had to not only cut himself off and try to push the feelings away but live with the fact that the person he wanted so desperately didn’t even want him back.

_ I would give up the stars for you, Tiberius Blackthorn. I would give up everything I had. Everything I could be, everything I never was. _

“I’m sorry,” Kit said.

Ty didn’t turn to look at him, instead, he raised his head towards the sky. “I miss you, Kit. You’re here, but you’re not. It’s like I can see you, and you’re standing there, and I hear you, but I can’t  _ reach  _ you.”

Kit knew exactly what he meant. “Ty-”

Ty lowered his head, finally facing Kit. “I think it’s my fault.”

Kit looked up at him through his eyelashes. “You think what is?”

“You distancing yourself from me,” he said. “I’m sorry for whatever I did. I try to be a good friend, cause Kit, you’re  _ my _ best friend. You know that don’t you? And if I did anything to screw that up then-”

“No, Ty,  _ no. _ ” Self rage was whirling up in Kit. “You’re perfect. It’s  _ my _ fault. I’ve been acting like an asshole lately, going out every night, coming home late, ignoring you.”

“Asshole,” Ty drunkenly laughed. “I feel  _ normal  _ right now. Is this what feeling normal is like?”

“Ty,” Kit said. “I don’t want you to  _ ever  _ be  _ anyone  _ else.”

Kit had meant to be serious but, shockingly, Ty started laughing.

Ty struck a pose; a hand on his hip, the other bent in a curve perpendicular to his head. “Not even one of your random hookups?”

“ _ Especially _ not one of my random hookups.”

“Good,” Ty laughed. “I don’t think I would want that anyway.”

Kit fake gasped. “Ty are you  _ mocking _ my hookups.”

“Maybe,” Ty smiled.

Kit grinned. “I think I like drunk Ty.”

“Not as much as your one night stands like drunk Kit,” Ty teased.

Kit frowned, puzzled. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“I can hear through the walls you know,” Ty giggled. Fucking  _ giggled.  _ “My headphones can only block so much out.”

Kit felt a sickly feeling overwhelm him. “Ty, no.”

“Why do you think I was on the roof a few nights ago? I go up there whenever you bring somebody back to the Institute. You should be happy,” Ty said. “I’m respecting your privacy.”

“I am making an immediate note of this,” Kit groaned. “I knew our rooms were close but if you can hear  _ everything  _ than-”

“Not everything,” Ty admitted. “Just the end, usually. And I can never hear  _ you,  _ only whoever else is with you.”

Kit was still horrified. If this was Ty talking when he was drunk then Kit was glad that sober Ty would never have said  _ any _ of this.

“God, I’m sorry Ty. If I would have realized, or if you would have told me I wouldn’t have-”   


Ty ignored him. “I wonder if you’re as good as they say you are.”

Kit widened his eyes so much that he suspected they were going to fall out of their sockets. “WHAT?”

“I’ve never thought of it before,” Ty quickly added. “But judging by the noises and how flushed they all look when they leave the Institute before you in the morning…”

Kit choked on the air. “Ty we are  _ not  _ talking about this.”

Ty didn’t seem to hear him though, he looked softly at Kit. His pupils had expanded in his iris’ and Kit could see the anxious expression of his body reflecting back at him. In the moonlight, his blonde hair looked white and his blue eyes were the same color as the moon.

“I’ve never wanted to kiss anyone,” Ty said. His voice rose in the air between them until it reached the stars.

Kit could feel his heart rate increase, he could hardly hear what Ty said next over the pounding of his pulse.

“I’ve never wanted to kiss anyone,” Ty repeated. “But I would let you. I would let you kiss me if you wanted too.”

“Ty, you’re drunk,” Kit stated. He was almost positive he was imagining things now. Just a minute ago they were talking about Kit’s sleeping habitats and now… 

Ty frowned, his eyes sad. “So are you.”

“I know,” Kit agreed. “But a first kiss should be with somebody that you love and want to-”

“But I love you,” Ty said. “You’re my best friend.”

Kit’s gaze shifted to Ty’s lips. They were slightly parted, portraying softness and quivering slightly. Kit was amazed by his self-control because he  _ wanted  _ like he had never wanted before.

Kit straightened. “Exactly. I’m your best  _ friend. _ ”

“So you don’t want to kiss me?” Ty said. He was pale and fragile in the moonlight, moving like a ghost.

_ Of course I want to. _

“I-” Kit started, but before he had finished what he had or hadn’t been about to say, Ty had surged forward, spinning Kit so his back was pressed against the brick wall, his mouth bending down to lace over Kits.

Ty’s lips moved softly, so, so, softly against Kit’s, he was hardly even sure it was happening. It was clear that Ty was trying to figure out exactly what to do, which way to tilt his head, and where to angle his mouth. Kit almost sighed with how fragile the kiss was, how gentle Ty’s lips were pressing against his own. It was like how he imagined what kissing a butterfly would be like. The only problem was that the kiss was entirely one-sided, Kit had become a statue. Not moving, hardly breathing, only able to close his eyes and memorize the sensation that was running through his whole body. Ty had seemed to notice Kit’s lack of response and he stiffened against him, slowing down his movements.

In that action, Kit made a split-second decision, one that he would probably come to regret the next day. It was Ty’s first kiss, whether he remembered it or not, and Kit wasn’t going to let it be a bad one.

Kit came to life in Ty’s arms, leaning his head forward to reseal their lips together. Ty melted back into him, smiling against Kit in relief. Kit took control of the kiss, slowing down their joined movements, showing Ty with his own mouth where to tilt his head. Ty’s hands fluttered around them, one coming to rest on Kit’s shoulder and the other one snaking around his waist. Kit found his own hands coming to rest in Ty’s hair, pulling against the humid curls gently. Ty made a soft noise in the back of his throat which sent a jolt of passion through Kit.

He used his grip in Ty’s hair to flip them over, so that Kit was now pushing Ty against the ivy and hard brick underneath the vines. Kit parted his lips, licking into Ty’s mouth. Ty made a mewling noise against him,  _ so responsive,  _ Kit thought. With that thought in mind, he twirled his tongue in Ty’s mouth, seeking the warmth that originated from the damp cave. He brought his arms down from Ty’s hair to blindly trace the muscles underneath his blazer, then he fisted the tie that wrapped around the dark-haired boy's neck.

They were kissing passionately now, Kit sucking on Ty’s bottom lip, trying to memorize the taste of him: tea and cloves. Ty’s hands were roaming all over Kit’s body, making a path from his stomach to his jaw, and then tangling in his hair. Kit was about to pull away, desperate for air when Ty bit Kit’s lip, and he was lost in another sensation of lust. It got to the point when they were both making so much noise Kit couldn’t tell which moans were coming from him and which were coming from Ty.

It felt like a century later when Kit tore his mouth from Ty’s to trail his lips down Ty’s neck. He licked a stripe from the base of Ty’s neck toward his temple. Then, he pressed his lips to Ty’s collarbones (oh, how he  _ adored  _ collarbones, especially Ty’s). He left bruises the color of moths against Ty’s neck, biting and sucking at the soft skin as Ty whimpered softly against his hair.

“Kit,” Ty murmured.

Kit responded to his non-question by kissing him again, more gently this time, then finally pulling away. They were each staring at each other, awestruck, rendering Kit speechless and Ty silent. Kit didn’t know if his blood was buzzing from Ty or if it was from the warlock drink.

They didn’t say anything to each other when the limo showed up. The car ride home was silent as well, full of lingering glances and awkward stares. They returned to their separate rooms when they arrived at the Institute, not even offering each other good night’s.

When Kit finally fell into his own bed, not bothering to change from his wrinkled dress clothes, he fell immediately asleep, unsure if the entire night had been a dream or a blissful reality.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A clarification: The warlock drink is supposed to be similar to the drink that Tessa and Will drank in The Infernal Devices, just a little more *ahem* intense. Sorry if it came on too quick/too strong (like I said, I'm new to this) but it IS important for the plot. Thank you for all the lovely comments, as well as the likes (is that what you call it?) and for reading! Next chapter in a few days! :)


	5. Can't You See It?

It had been a few months before.

Kit and Ty had been sitting on the Institute’s roof, comfortable in complete silence when Ty had started reciting words. He had done this before, over multiple occasions, repeating words that he liked the sound of, not the meaning. That night though, it had been the opposite; words he liked the meaning of, no matter the sound.

Kit was fascinated as Ty had listed stacks and stacks of words until they seemed to be flying around them like fireflies. Kit had listened as Ty talked and talked and talked, whispering words and their meanings and what they meant to him. It was magical almost, how when Ty truly loved something, he could speak about it for ages, making the person listening love the topic just as much. It was understanding as Kit had never in his life known. He had lived with Johnny Rook his entire life and he had never  _ felt  _ like he knew  _ him. _

Because that’s what Ty repeating his thoughts to Kit was like; showing him the darkest, deepest parts of himself. More intimate than anything could ever be. Ty was allowing Kit to  _ see  _ him. Everything that he thought and felt and breathed and  _ was. _

Now, Kit remembered a word that Ty had spoken on the rooftop all those nights ago.

_ Verklempt; to be overcome with emotion. _

Which was the only word Kit could think to describe what he felt at this moment.

He had been sitting on the beach for the past hour, maybe longer than that, judging by the shadows that were starting to crawl out from the boulders and find their places in the seagrass. The ocean seemed to be covered in a shadow too, dark silver waves caught in a constant dance with seafoam.

Kit’s hangover was worse than normal, per result of the warlock drink. The only thing that seemed to be easing the steady drumming against his temple was the sound of waves, dependent on proceeding up and down the beach.

He knew he had to get up and head back to the Institute soon. Everyone would be waking up and urgent to know what they had found out the night before concerning the investigation. But Kit stayed still, trying to focus on the sound of his own breathing and not the constant rush of memories torturing his mind.

It was strange because in a way, he  _ had _ gotten what he wanted. Blurs of Ty’s lips and Ty’s hair and Ty’s voice came back to him in cycles… But everything was painted in the same dark light that was overshadowing the beach. Like Ty’s lips were poison and his hair was barbed wire and his voice wasn’t his own, but someone else’s. Something inhumane.

Kit swirled his hand in the sand beside him, trying to rework the hardware of his mind.

_ How could something so right be so wrong? _

He got to his feet, wincing at the sharp pounding that shot through his head.  _ He was a Herondale,  _ he reminded himself. It was something he had repeated the past few years when he felt lost, and in a strange way, it seemed to help.

Stretching his body, Kit yawned and turned towards the ocean. “Fuck.”

_ That seemed to help too. _

Sighing heavily, he turned and began walking up the sanded path towards the Institute. He had woken up early that day, a result of horrible sleep, and instantly ran to the beach, desperate to get away from everyone before they woke up.

He wasn’t sure if he felt more clueless or more angry. It was all his fault, wasn’t it? He had drunk  _ much  _ less of the drink than Ty had and he had  _ known  _ what he was doing. Yes, the alcohol had flowed through his bloodstream but he could remember the movement of his hands, his ability to control them. Whatever had happened last night was a drunken mistake, no matter how much he might convince himself otherwise. And the solid truth was that he had taken advantage of Ty.

Or, they had taken advantage of each other.

And if that wasn’t bad enough, which it was, now he would have to see him. He’d have to hear Ty apologize for it and say he had no idea why what happened had happened and he would  _ never  _ do that soberly and-

_ Could someone’s heart be broken more than once? _

Did it really matter if it could? 

Because Ty was Ty, Kit thought, the answer was no. It would always be no. Kit would do anything for him when it came down to it, whether it destroyed him in the process or not. And if Ty considered him his best friend (which he  _ did,  _ or so he had said the night before) then that would be enough.

It had to be.

He opened the door to the Institute, hearing distant voices chiming from the kitchen. Kit half thought of turning around and running back up to the safety of the beach, but that would make him even more of a coward then he already was. Kit scoffed at himself, what would Jace say to him if he were here now?

Taking a deep breath, he entered the kitchen, and stifled a gasp.

The kitchen was a disaster. The drawers were all open and food was sprawled across the countertops, leaving no space for even the smallest cup. Tavvy was standing on the granite, crushing bags of chips beneath his small feet, searching through an upper cupboard. Julian, Emma, Cristina, and Jaime were looking through the refrigerator and Mark had a clipboard in his hands, looking very confused. Dru was looking over his shoulder, eyebrows raised.

Helen, Aline, and Ty- Kit’s eyes ghosted over him quickly- were seated at the kitchen table, surrounded by food products.

“Okay we still need cinnamon, thyme, salt, and,” Mark’s eyes snapped up from his clipboard to settle on Kit. “Kit!”

Ty startled in his seat, blinking up at Kit from his spot at the table. He had his headphones on, a sweatshirt bunched around his shoulders, matching his tired eyes. Their gazes locked for a moment before Kit looked toward the hectic part of the kitchen, heart racing.

“What’s going on?” He asked.

Jaime grinned at him from the opposite side of the room. “We’re searching for food ingredients, obviously.”

“It’s for attracting demons,” Cristina clarified.

“And do we really need,” Kit walked over to look at the clipboard in Mark's hands. “Thyme? What even  _ is  _ that?”

“It’s a herb,” Ty said, deliberately looking away from Kit. “For medical purposes and for-”

“Found it!” Tavvy yelled.

Emma beamed, smiling at Julian. “See? I told you we’d find it.”

Julian swooped a laughing Tavvy off the countertop. “So what did you guys figure out last night? We’ve been asking Ty but he refused to talk about it until you got here.”

Kit avoided the urge to turn to Ty. “The pack is in the Tenebrous trench.”

“I was researching it earlier,” Ty said, pulling a hidden book from his lap. “It’s hidden from mundane eyes. A result of the demons that inhabit it.”

“Got it,” Mark tsked. He seemed oddly enthusiastic, pulling a pen from behind his ear and writing the information down.

Dru stared at him in shock. “Are you actually  _ enjoying  _ this right now?”

Julian muffled a laugh.

“It’s just nice to do something around here,” Mark smiled. “Even if all it is is holding a- what do you call this again?”

Tavvy looked like he thought Mark was joking. “A clipboard!”

“Exactly,” Mark specified. “A clipboard.”

Jamie turned towards the middle of the room. “So let me get this straight, we make this demon blood attracting mixture, somehow get to the middle of the ocean, which is  _ far  _ out by the way and, if that even  _ goes  _ according to plan, have a deadly fight against a sea demon-”

“Multiple sea demons,” Helen said from the table. “If the spell works correctly then it’s going to attract a lot more than just one.”

“Right,” Jaime laughed bitterly. “And then we have to somehow trap one and bring it all the way back.”

Aline smiled, wrapping her arms around Helen, so easily, in a way that made Kit’s heart ache. “Yes.”

“Easy,” Emma chimed, beginning to filter milk jugs out of the fridge.

Dru laughed. “When can we go?”

“We can probably set out tomorrow morning,” Julian said. “As soon as we get this ‘demon attraction mixture’ done and figure out how to trap a demon.”

“A Pyxis?” Emma said helpfully.

“We don’t have a Pyxis,” Cristina stated. “Besides, we should keep it where we can see it. That way, we can study it. Take samples.”

Julian seemed to agree. “And about the long travel that Jaime was saying earlier, I was thinking we portal to the nearest island. We can get a boat there, construct some sort of demon contraption, and sail out to the trench. Then, we can portal back from the boat.”

“We need a warlock,” Jaime said. “For the portals  _ and  _ however you’re planning to get the demon through the portal.”

“Magnus?” Kit asked. Magnus Bane always seemed to be their go-to warlock. For good reason too. Even Kit couldn’t hate him, with his sequined suits and bold confidence.

Julian took his phone from his pocket. “I’ll ask him.”

Mark had straightened, clicking the pen obnoxiously against his clipboard. “We still need cinnamon!”

“We’ll keep looking for it,” Emma answered. She turned to Ty, who was fiddling with the edges of the trench book. “Ty-Ty, could you go to the library and find something about harnessing demons?  _ Not  _ Pyxis boxes though.”

He nodded, stretching himself to his full height. Kit had just now noticed how uneasy Ty seemed and cold shame washed over him. Ty’s eyes were hidden under a swirl of dark hair and his shoulders were caved in like he was shielding himself from the disaster in the kitchen.

He was just about to leave the kitchen, both to Kit’s relief and dismay before he turned around quickly and faced Kit’s direction. “Actually, Kit… Could I talk to you for a minute?”

Kit must have frozen in place because Dru sharply elbowed him and he jumped with a start. “Yes, yeah. Okay.”

He started across the room, following Ty silently through the hallways of the Institute. Ty’s hands were gripping the book about trenches, knuckles white.

Kit raised an eyebrow as they passed the library. “Weren’t we supposed to be heading in there to research about trapping demons?”

“Later,” Ty replied, continuing his pace. “I told you I needed to talk to you.”

Kit’s heart jumped to his throat and he tried to even his voice out as he said his next words. “What about?”

At that, Ty quickly glanced over his shoulder. Kit shuddered when their eyes met, the remains of his hangover seemingly lost in the contact. “Last night.”

Kit stiffened, faltering a step. Ty’s grey eyes were skimming over him, calculating. Kit could feel him studying his mannerisms, the way Kit’s hands clenched and his movements became unsure.

“Ty-” Kit ventured. “About last night, you have to know that I-”

“The garden,” Ty interrupted. He started forward again, turning through the Institute.

Kit raced after him. “The garden?”

“You can tell me in the garden,” Ty said. “I’d like to be outside.”

Kit didn’t answer, instead, he followed Ty until they were outdoors, beneath the morning sun. Flowers curled upward from the ground, bringing tangerine orange and blossom pink to the garden’s landscape. Kit spotted the familiar topiary of animals cut from the shrubs; shapes resembling wolves and owls and birds.

Ty went beneath the shade of a flowering tree, the violet shades of the petals making him stand out dark against the scenery. “Come here.”

Kit realized he had been standing stock-still near an ivy-covered arch near the garden's entryway and he hesitantly stepped towards Ty until the sunshine had stopped beaming on his golden hair.

“I wanted to talk to you about,” Ty broke off to pull the neckline of his sweatshirt down, showing the expanse of his neck and collarbone. “This.”

Harsh hickeys trailed up from his collarbone to the mid-point of his neck. The skin was pale under the tree's shade and the marks stood out like roses against it.

Kit tried desperately to read Ty’s expression but the other boy was looking down, biting his lower lip.

“Ty,” Kit swallowed. He searched his mind for words… an apology, something that would make sense…

“I remember certain things,” Ty started, stopping the rising words in Kit’s throat. “I remember Vox telling us about the Tenebrous trench. I remember walking outside with you, seeing the gargoyle statues…”

Kit could hardly breathe.

Ty was searching Kit’s face, eyes trailing from his forehead to his temples, then to settle on his cheekbones. “And then things started to get blurry. I can hear voices, see blurs...”

Kit didn’t know what he was thinking. His mind seemed to be an empty tomb.

“Someone’s mouth,” Ty said. One of his hands soared upward. Kit watched as Ty brushed his fingers over his own lips as if recalling a memory.

Kit longed to say something, but his throat had caved.

Finally, Ty quickly connected eyes with Kit, only shortly, before they resolved to search his face again. “I was wondering if you knew who did it.”

Kit was lost in a trance. What was Ty even saying?

“What?”

“Who…” Ty licked his lips. “Who kissed me.”

Kit turned away abruptly, not wanting Ty to see the emotion rushing across his face. He couldn’t hide it if he looked at him directly, not after last night. Not after Ty was standing here, the reminder of what Kit had  _ done  _ to him written across his neck like a diary entry.

“Kit?”

He heard Ty say his name but Kit’s mind had opened back up, and his head was flooded with possibilities.

_ This was a chance.  _ A chance to make the memory of last night go away, a chance to not see Ty’s horrified expression when Kit told him the truth, to not hear Ty saying the words, ‘I love you but not like that’...

“Kit?” Ty repeated again. His face was open, eyes wild and alive.

Kit schooled his features into nonchalance, drawing a fake smile from somewhere deep inside the sickly, dark, asshole part of him. “I have no idea.”

Ty’s eyes flashed with an unidentified emotion, jaw clenching. “You don’t?”

“Why would I be witnessing such a private moment?” Kit wanted to stab himself in the chest, but he forced the act. It was better than pain in the long run. “It’s not like I would care.”

Ty turned away from him, his voice was fragile. “But I thought-”

Kit laughed. “It’s fine. Really, it probably wasn’t even someone important anyway. A drunken mistake, right?”

“I wouldn’t do that,” Ty fumbled with his hands. “At least I don’t think I would-”

“Never really know yourself till you have some alcohol right?” Kit laughed. “If it makes you feel any better Ty, my first kiss was when I was twelve. With my best friend's  _ sister _ . Her name was Helda… short, but with a temper like-”

“Kit,” Ty whispered, his voice falling to a ghostlike octave. “Stop.”

“Stop? But I haven’t even told you about the outfits she used to wear. Damn, she used to wear these horrible-”

“Stop,” Ty’s voice was like fire now. “I know these things may not be important to you but they’re important to  _ me.” _

It broke Kit’s heart that he was making Ty upset. But it was better that way… if Ty knew then…

“Sorry,” Kit honestly replied. “I know it is.”

Ty had already turned around. Face hidden from Kit.

“Ty,” Kit gently said. He tentatively placed a hand on Ty’s shoulder. “I’m sorry.”

Ty didn’t lean into his touch but he didn’t move away either.

“You’re right,” Ty mumbled. Turning around, he started walking away from Kit and towards the Institute.

“Ty, no, wait-”

Kit approached him again, trying to keep up with Ty’s long legs. He  _ knew  _ Ty was mad at him but wasn’t this a little over the top? I mean, it was just a  _ joke. _

But jokes meant more for Ty than other people, and Kit had known that and abused it.  _ Asshole,  _ he said to himself.

“No! You’re right!” Ty growled bitterly. “It’s  _ my _ problem not  _ yours _ .”

“That’s not what I meant!” Kit shouted.

Apparently, he didn’t even  _ need  _ to confess his love for Ty to destroy their friendship, he was doing that already.

They entered the Institute; Kit prowling behind a furious Ty. He followed Ty into the library, where the dark-haired boy slammed himself down onto the nearest chair. Ignoring Kit, hands like burning moths, Ty opened the book he had brought from the kitchen.

Kit didn’t press Ty, instead, he searched the bookshelves for anything that looked like it might provide information on demon-trapping, and planted himself down in the seat besides Ty.

For the next hour, Kit read on skill tactics about demon trapping, every so often blurting out ideas to Ty (who he suspected, although he didn’t show it,  _ was  _ listening to him). And the more comments Kit made, the more he could see the anger rolling out of Ty like the tide residing.

When Ty finally turned to him, something in Kit clicked. “I was mad, I’m not anymore.”

It was something so simple and to the point and Kit knew he didn’t deserve it.

“I’m sorry,” Kit said regardless. It was his third apology and the first time Ty seemed to absorb it.

Ty nodded. “I know.”

By the time the rest of the Blackthorns showed up in the library, Ty was talking normally to Kit, the two confiding in each other like they always did.

Helen announced that Jaime, Emma, Julian, Ty, and Kit would head through the portal the next day, with Magnus, who had agreed to come. Dru sulked, but immediately perked up when Aline informed her she and Cristina would be preparing plans for the rest of the investigation at the Institute, as well as go on several patrols for Clave business.

Ty left the library shortly after the plans were set in stone. Kit watched him walk off and longed to go after him, but instead he excused himself from the room and headed towards his own bedroom.

He lay there the entirety of the day, getting much-needed sleep from the restless night before. He only woke up when the sun was setting, blazing the horizon in orange and gold.

Then, he did what he always did. Got dressed, fixed his hair, emptied some mundane money from the pillow under his head, and headed toward the bar.

It was horrible and he knew it and he promised himself he wouldn’t bring anyone back tonight. Not after what Ty had told him the night before.

He just needed  _ something _ to clear his mind from the reminder of Ty. It had been easier before but now that he knew what it was like…

Kit swallowed heavily, shaking his head, and starting towards the door of the Institute. He’d be back that night, he told himself. With enough time to rest before they started off through the portal the next morning.

What he didn’t see, however, was Tiberius Blackthorn, as well as the ghost of his twin, following him into the darkening landscape of Los Angeles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all of you who have continued to read as well as like and leave comments! Double update sometime Sunday night! :) Also, sorry for Kit's actions *dry laughs* sometimes I even get annoyed while writing him.


	6. An Unexpected Guest

Kit liked dark hair. That much was apparent by anyone he had ever hooked up with, they all had the same ebony locks. Kit couldn’t have specified whether or not he had favored dark hair before Ty or not, but he couldn’t remember a time when he didn’t love it.

There was a guy in front of him, his name started with an L, Kit thought. He couldn’t focus on much though because under the neon lights of the ‘Druid’s Tavern’ he looked strikingly similar to Ty. He had green eyes, which was one of the few differences because no matter how hard Kit looked… there was no one like Ty. He didn’t think there ever would be anyone who made him feel the way Ty did.

But the guy was here, a Shadowhunter too (Kit was getting oddly lucky with these recent findings) and if the way he leaned his body towards Kit was any indication, he wanted him just as much. Kit downed the rest of his drink, only his second.

“Lyle,” Kit said over the blaring music, the past forgotten name coming back to his memory.

The other Shadowhunter leaned gracefully against the bar’s countertop, the ceiling lights changing his eye color. “You’re a Herondale, right?”

“Is it that obvious?” Kit laughed, but it didn’t wash over him.

“You have the gold hair,” Lyle studied. “And the blue eyes.”

“Really?” Kit sarcastically retorted. “I thought my eyes were black.”

Lyle ignored his humor, instead, he smiled in a way that sent a chill through Kit’s body. “Have you been around here before? I think I would have noticed you.”

“I’ve been here a few times,” Kit admitted. “Nothing really caught my eye.”

“Oh, really?” Lyle folded his arms across his chest, smiling cheekily. “How about now?”

Kit fought the urge to roll his eyes. If his honesty seemed to be some kind of flirtation charm, then so be it. He could play the Herondale act if that’s what this guy wanted. The more he went out, the easier it was to change his mannerisms. To become whoever the other person wanted him to be.

“Maybe,” Kit drawled lowley. He wasn’t lying, really. Lyle _had_ caught his eye if only for the reason he resembled Ty slightly. “Buy me another drink?”

Lyle complied, turning away toward the bar and ordering whatever Kit had ordered earlier.

While he did so, Kit resolved to flicking his eyes around the Druid’s Tavern. It was a glamoured bar, a place where Downworlders and Shadowhunters congregated. Kit had been here a few times, returning because he liked the darkness of the space, the only light source being the flickering stage lights overhead, igniting the room in blindingly sharp colors. It felt like a lucid dream, no one looked exactly the same underneath the shifting hues.

“So, Kit,” Lyle started. He placed the drink in Kit’s hands, brushing his own thumb against Kit’s wrist. “Want to head up to the roof? I heard the view from there is amazing.”

Kit smirked, exactly the way he knew Lyle had wanted him too. “Trying to get me alone so quickly?”

“It’s not everyday I encounter a Herondale,” Lyle replied. “Is that a yes?”

Kit nodded, downing the rest of his drink as quickly as he could, before following Lyle to the rooftop.

Lyle’s eyes slid over Kit as they started up the stairs. “I’ve heard about you, you know. You’re quite popular at the bars in downtown Los Angeles.”

“What can I say?” Kit breathed. “I’m a Herondale, like you said.”

Lyle seemed to brighten at that. They emerged on the top of the roof. The twinkling lights of Los Angeles sparkled around them, lighting up the space in shades of white and gold. Slim railing lined the edges of the rooftop.

“Isn’t the view amazing?” Lyle exclaimed.

Kit didn’t think so. It wasn’t ugly, exactly, but there was so much going on. Maybe it was constantly being around Ty so often, but Kit had learned to appreciate the calming things; the waves crashing against the beach, the wind rustling through seagrass, the chirp of birds in the early morning. Now, everything was so _loud._ The honk of taxis, the chatter from mundanes walking the streets below them, the faint sound of a jazz band drifting around the city.

“Yes,” Kit lied. “Wow.”

“Do you see the pond over there,” Lyle pointed. “I grew up over there. My older sister used to call it the lake of-”

Kit lunged towards him, pressing his lips against Lyle’s. He didn’t _want_ to, but he needed to shut him up somehow, and besides, this was the path it was headed down anyway. People weren’t expecting much from people like Kit. They just wanted to use him for a night and never see him again. Which was fine, because that’s exactly what Kit expected.

He was sure that as soon as Ty found someone, they would definitely be the person to do everything for him. To shower him with affection and never use him the way Kit used everyone else. The thought sent a sickening pang through his body, but he knew the time would come someday and he would be forced to live with it, to see someone else with Ty, to see Ty happier than he had ever been…

Lyle pressed Kit up against the roof’s railing, pushing Kit’s back until it cut into the steel.

Beneath Kit’s eyelids, he could see Ty before him, the way he had been the night before. His eyes clear and wanting, his mouth exploring on Kit’s own. The memory sent a rush of pain through him and he pushed Lyle off of him, grunting into the night air.

“Kit? Is everything alright?” Lyle asked. He seemed genuinely concerned.

“I-” Kit turned to look out at the lit-up city below. “I’m sorry. There’s this guy and-”

Lyle appeared beside him, also looking out at Los Angeles. “It’s okay. I understand.”

Kit expelled air into the night sky. “I don’t know what to do. It’s like, I don’t know, I just can’t get him out of my head.”

He didn’t know why he was expressing his thoughts to a stranger, but there was something calming about the way Lyle was listening to him, as if he heard and understood everything.

“I admit,” Lyle said. “I do not know you very well, but I can assure you, anybody would be crazy not to want you.”

“No. That’s the thing,” Kit began. “He _would_ be crazy to want me. I mean just _look_ at me.” He waved his hands in the air. “This is what I do. I go out every night. I’m with different people all the time. I’m not enough. I don’t deserve him. Even today, I lied to him about something I _knew_ he wanted to know. Lied about something he _should_ know. What kind of person does that make me? I’m not someone that he could want.”

Lyle paused, thinking, before he turned to Kit, looking him directly in the eye. “Then you have to become someone he _can_ want. Someone _you_ want to be.”

Kit was about to reply when a dark shape flashed in the edge of his vision. He turned around abruptly, reaching for the seraph blade that he had placed beneath the arm of his left sleeve before he had left the Institute earlier. It seemed that Lyle had the same idea, pulling a crossbow from where it must have been strapped to his back. Kit hadn’t noticed earlier, not having been paying close attention.

Behind them, was a similar sea demon to the one that had attacked Kit at the beach. It had the same grotesque skin, but with gills that had been waxed over, allowing it to function out of water. Kit caught the faint stench of seawater and saw, with a start, that its tentacles were larger than the last one that had attacked him.

“How the hell did that get _here_ ?” Lyle muttered under his breath. “It’s the fucking _city._ ”

Kit laughed. He allowed his confusion at the sea demon to be overshadowed by the feeling he always got before he went into battle, the strange energy that Shadowhunters carried with them everywhere they went.

“I’ll get the tentacles, you get the mouth,” Kit said. He called out the angel’s name that awakened the seraph blade, a surge of electricity bursting from where his hand connected with the hilt of the blade.

Kit surged forward, flipping his body and cutting the blade into the first tentacle that swung through the air towards him. He leaped over another one trying to wrap around his ankles, and narrowly cut through two more.

Lyle had approached the demon’s center, firing consistent arrows into the demon’s face. It distracted the sea demon, resulting in it roaring towards the sky. Kit dodged another swinging tentacle to jump toward the creature, impaling his seraph blade into the side of the demon.

The sea demon let out a dark, sinful cry before it vanished into the night air.

Lyle turned to Kit, mouth open in shock. “Seriously though, how did that get here?”

Another voice spoke before Kit could answer. “That’s not what you have to worry about. There’s more coming.”

Kit started at the voice, flinging around to find Ty Blackthorn perching on the railing’s edge like he had been there the whole time. Livvy Blackthorn was floating behind him (invisible to the eyes of Lyle). The two twins were like the sun and the moon with the lights of Los Angeles behind them.

“Ty,” Kit sneered. “What are you _doing_ here?”

“Oh, I’m sorry for trying to _help_ you.” 

Ty jumped down from the railing and started toward Lyle and him. Lyle looked surprised, running his eyes over Ty curiously. Livvy looked toward Kit, raising a finger to her lips, indicating that she wanted him to not mention her presence.

“You said there’s more coming?” Lyle said, his attention trained on Ty.

Ty nodded, running his eyes over Lyle. “I saw them when I was following Kit. There’s at least a dozen of them. All headed here.”

“You were _following_ me?” Kit angrily yelled.

Ty looked away from him. “I’m sorry for interrupting. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

Lyle ignored the two of them. “How far away are they?”

Livvy answered, her voice as cold as ice. “There.”

Ty and Kit turned to where she was pointing to see the sea demons bounding across the city’s rooftops, edging toward them. Lyle looked confused, as he didn’t hear Livvy’s answer, but he seemed to shake it off and tightened his grip on his crossbow.

Kit turned to Ty, scanning him up and down. “You have a weapon?”

“You forget I’ve been doing this my whole life,” Ty said. He pulled a seraph blade from behind his back and Kit watched as he swung the headphones that had been looped around his neck overtop his ears. He looked like he always did, Ty had the beauty of broken glass.

The sea demons were upon them.

Ty approached the first two demons, swinging his blade in a perfect arch around him. Lyle had backed up, climbing on the railing to get a higher vantage point to shoot at the creatures.

Kit bounded toward a nearing demon, cutting at the tentacles that swung toward him. It was smaller than both of the previous demons he had fought, and it took no time at all for his seraph blade to destroy the demon until it was no more than ash.

He glanced over at Ty, who had progressed to his third demon. Kit often forget how ruthless Ty could become in battle, much like Julian. The gentleness about him seemed to disappear, replaced with a killing machine.

Ty diced at a demon’s bottom tooth. “What were you doing out here?”

“Needed a drink,” Kit answered. He adjusted his stance, starting toward an oncoming demon.

Ty gestured toward Lyle who was shooting down multiple demons on further rooftops. “Was _he_ the drink?”

If Kit wasn’t in the middle of killing another sea demon he would have laughed. “Nope. Just something that came along with it.”

“I can hear you!” Lyle called from the railing. Kit watched as he struck a demon from a further distance in the eye and it fell between an alleyway.

Kit smashed his own seraph blade in the small area between where the demon in front of him’s teeth met its throat. It fell back, jumping off the roof and scurrying into the darkness, wounded.

Two more demons had started toward Kit, still pretty far off, and he used his time opportunity to search the space for Livvy. He found her floating around Ty as he fought against another of the creatures.

Turning back, Kit faced the last two sea demons. They were both the same size, the slightly darker one snarling at him. Kit hadn’t put on any runes before he left, so he was beginning to feel his energy slipping away.

Thankfully, Lyle shot at one of the remaining creatures so Kit could focus his full attention on the other one. It was relatively easy to swing at it (it was so, so much easier with a weapon and not being at risk of water).

The demon roared, moving at an unexpected speed toward Kit who was shocked when he got knocked off his feet. Tentacles were moving all around him, trying to wind their way around his body. He blindly twirled the seraph blade at the moving figments surrounding him, trying to get enough room to return to his feet.

Apparently, the demon had a weak spot because when Kit cut off enough of the limbs, it disappeared into the darkness, exploding into nothingness.

Groaning, Kit leaped to his feet, facing Ty. “You shouldn’t be here.”

Ichor stained the front of Ty’s shirt. “Kit, _neither_ of us should be here. I don’t even know why you left the Institute in the first place! We have to portal early tomorrow morning!”

“I was planning on getting back as soon as-”

“As soon as you do what you _always_ do? Bring back someone you _just_ met, someone who doesn’t even _care_ about you and then never see them again?”

Kit froze, forgetting that Livvy and Lyle were also on the roof.

Ty turned away, starting towards the stairs. “I wasn’t trying to be rude, but you deserve better than that. You deserve someone that cares.”

_You’re the only one I want to care._

Kit watched Ty, along with a silent Livvy, exit the rooftop and start to head to the streets below.

“I’m going after him,” Kit said. He turned to Lyle. “Sorry for wasting your night.”

“Is that the guy?” Lyle asked.

Kit nodded. “Is it that obvious?”

“A little,” Lyle admitted. “Go get him Herondale.”

Kit waved, spinning toward the stairway. “See you around?”

Lyle laughed. “I don’t think so.”

Kit grinned. He scampered down the stairs, scanning the streets for Ty and Livvy. It wasn’t hard to find them, they hadn’t gone far, and he quickly moved toward them until the three of them (one technically _hovering,_ which was beside the point) were walking side by side, just like how they used to.

“Are you drunk?” Livvy giggled. It was the second thing she had said to him all night.

“I had three drinks, they were all pretty light, so, no,” Kit brushed a hand through his pale hair. “Why? Did I look like I was tipsy when I was fighting?”

“You _did_ fall,” Ty pointed out. Whatever tension the two of them had beforehand had melted away, left only with comfortable familiarity.

“Ty, are you criticizing my skills?” Kit clutched his chest. “What if that was part of my plan all along?”

“Falling?” Livvy snorted. She was wearing what she always wore, the Shadowhunter-white dress that hung around her heavily.

Kit smirked toothily. “It worked didn’t it?”

“Hardly,” Ty said. “I’m sorry about following you. I should have said something, but I figured if you knew then you’d act exactly as you did up on the roof.”

It seemed like lately the two of them had been making far too many apologies to each other.

Before Kit could (again) apologize back to Ty, Livvy began to speak. “Who was that guy on the roof? He looked sort of like-”

Kit instantly cut her off. “Lyle. His name’s Lyle.”

Livvy was about to reply but Ty had already started talking.

“You didn’t have to come back with us,” Ty said. “You could have stayed if you wanted too.”

“I know,” Kit replied. “I didn’t.”

Ty relaxed, his shoulders sloping comfortably. Kit smiled. When Ty was around Livvy, he always seemed to be calm.

“Besides,” Kit beamed. “I get to see Livvy.”

Livvy grinned. “Even in death I’m still the favorite twin.”

It was a joke and they all knew it. Even Ty seemed to be smiling in the darkness.

The three of them threaded through the streets of downtown Los Angeles, headed towards the Institute near the ocean.

“Ty told me about the demon blood you swallowed,” Livvy said. “And that they had to burn it out of you.”

“That makes it sound so dramatic,” Kit smiled. “It was really just a few days of fires, soup, and heated blankets.”

Livvy shivered, although Kit wasn’t sure whether she could even do that, being a ghost and all. “I could _never._ ” 

It was funny because Kit thought that as Livvy spent more time as a ghost, she would lose the _life_ that was inside her. But she hadn’t, surprisingly. She was still the same funny, sweet fifteen-year-old that she had been three years ago. Yet, as much as she appeared happy, for Ty’s sake, Kit could see the short moments where Livvy’s sadness was written across her ageless face.

He couldn’t imagine what it must have been like… to be surrounded by life every day and be reminded of everything you were missing out on. To be unable to ever go back to it.

Ty straightened, drawing Kit out from his train of thought. “Oh I forgot to tell you! Jaime’s at the Institute!”

Livvy smiled sweetly. “I’ve only ever slightly met him, but I’ve seen the way everyone gets when he comes to the Institute. Cristina and Dru especially.”

“He told me to choke on my own blood,” Kit offered.

“It wouldn’t have been your own blood,” Ty stated. “Technically, it would have been demon blood.”

“Right,” Kit yelled, exasperated. “Because _that_ makes a difference!”

The three of them were nearing the Institute now, the pillars and glass of the building reflected in the moonlight, so it stood out like a diamond in the colorless night.

Livvy turned to Ty, moving a transparent hand to brush on his cheek. “I have to go. I’ve been here too long.”

Kit remembered what Livvy had said about the tie to this world and whatever the other place she went was, it was weak. The only thing connecting her to the real world was Ty.

“When will you be back?” Ty asked. He spoke slowly, using the time to keep Livvy with him as long as he could.

Livvy tried to look strong. “Whenever you call me back here.”

Ty nodded, reaching a hand to touch her own. Kit felt like he was witnessing a private moment, which he was, in a sense. Ty’s solid hand passed through her unsolid one, a reminder of the barrier between them. Noticing this, Livvy moved away.

“Bye Kit,” Livvy waved. Her eyes trailed over to her twin. “Bye Ty-Ty.”

They watched as Livvy disappeared into the night sky, becoming one with the stars and moon and galaxy.

Kit turned to Ty once she was gone. “Is she that dramatic every time she leaves?”

“Dramatic?” Ty said. “What do you mean?”

“Can’t ghosts disappear?” Kit wondered. “She always flies away until we can’t see her anymore.”

Ty considered this, their footsteps the only sound as they roamed toward the Institute. “If I was a ghost, I’d probably do that too. Haven’t you ever wanted to fly?”

“I have flown,” Kit reasoned. “On that weird flying motorcycle that Mark got after the last one broke.”

“That isn’t the same thing,” Ty said. “I mean _really_ fly.”

The night air was so clear Kit felt like he was breathing in the wind. “Yes. I’d fly until I was in a new place, somewhere I could be someone else. I could be anyone I want to be.”

“Someone else?” Ty asked. “Why?”

Kit had the sanity not to laugh. “Are you serious?”

Ty’s face was twisted into one of confusion. “I don’t understand.”

Kit looked over at Ty, all perfect in shadows and moonlight. “If you could be anyone else, you wouldn’t?”

“I don’t think so,” Ty said thoughtfully. “But I also don’t understand why _you_ would want to be anyone but yourself.”

“Ty, the only thing I’ve got going for me is that I’m a Herondale. Seriously, even the guy at the bar tonight said as much. He commented on my _hair_ and said that it made me a Herondale,” Kit paused, his voice lowering. “It’s all I have.”

“You have me,” Ty said. “And I liked you even before I knew you were Herondale.”

Kit smiled. “You did?”

It wasn’t that he didn’t know, it was that hearing Ty say it made it so much more important.

“I let you in with Livvy and I,” Ty began. “You’re nice and funny and know a lot more about things than other people do.”

Kit was beaming.

“And,” Ty looked down, so his attention was focused on the moving ground beneath them. “I don’t think you need to be anyone else other than who you are.”

“Okay,” Kit smiled. He didn’t know how to respond to that. “I guess I won’t be taking off and changing my name then.”

“Good,” Ty moved closer to Kit, just slightly. The movement wouldn’t have been noticed by anyone who wasn’t paying close enough attention; but Kit was _always_ paying attention around Ty. It was like Ty’s body was an electric fence and the waves of energy coursed through Kit’s entire being. “Cause I would miss you.”

They stood near the Institute’s steps now. Kit had stopped, he couldn’t have said why, but it felt like he needed too. Ty was looking down at him curiously, stopping his own steps so he was in line with Kit.

Kit wanted to ask him if he wanted to go for a walk on the beach or maybe even go back to one of their own rooms and watch a movie because it had been such a _long_ time since they had talked like this, just the two of them. Not like the night before, when they had been at the mansion solely for the investigation. And not like earlier that day, when they were both angry and confused.

Instead though, he just blinked up at Ty, no words coming out of his mouth.

To his surprise, Ty lifted one of his pale hands, drifting it up until it was floating around Kit’s shoulders, not quite touching, barely skimming the fabric.

It was like Ty to seek comfort by touching others, but the expression on his face was focused in an unusual way. Kit hadn’t seen him look anything like this before.

“What-” Kit could hardly speak. “Ty, what are you doing?”

Ty’s eyes widened and his hand dropped, coming back to rest at his side. “I… I don’t know.”

Kit felt oddly flustered, he could feel the heat rising to his cheeks.

Ty abruptly turned around, looking over his shoulder as he started up the Institute steps. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Yeah?” Kit didn’t know why it came out like a question. “See you then.”

He watched Ty enter the Institute. Kit stood frozen at the bottom of the stairwell, unable to move out of utter confusion.

Thinking, _what the hell was that?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this update’s so late! I’ve been pretty busy this weekend!


	7. Speaking in Riddles

Out of all people, Octavian Blackthorn was the one to wake Kit up. The sun hadn’t risen yet, so when Kit awoke to complete darkness and his hair being pulled out of his scalp, he wasn’t pleased.

A witchlight flared on, flooding the room with brightness. Kit could somewhat make out the small figure of Tavvy standing at the edge of his bed. The twelve-year-old gave Kit a toothy smile, pleased to be the source of Kit’s very, _very_ visible anger.

Kit brought himself up to his elbows. “Do you have a night vision rune on? Or can you usually see people in the dark?”

Tavvy laughed. “It’s time to go, Julian set me to wake you up.”

“Why are _you_ up?” Kit pushed himself out of the bed, moving towards his closet. “Do you have an energy rune on too?”

“Everyone’s up,” Tavvy said. “We have to say goodbye.”

The younger boy darted out of the room. Kit couldn’t help but give him a tired smile before he left. Out of everyone in the Institute, Tavvy was always in a good mood.

Kit got ready quickly after Tavvy left, swinging a bag over his shoulders then started heading to where all the occupants of the Los Angeles Institute were standing, including Magnus Bane, who seemed just as energetic as Tavvy.

Kit seemed to be the last one down and before he could even say a word, Dru, who apparently had been too lazy to get dressed (Kit couldn’t blame her) had pulled him to the side of the room where they were out of earshot from everyone else.

Dru had a serious look on her face, blue-green eyes narrowing. “If you and Ty don’t kiss by the time this trip’s over, then I won’t hesitate to hurt you in a way those sea demons _never_ could.”

“I’ll prepare my body bag,” Kit blinked. “We’re not exactly going to have a relaxing vacation.”

“I know,” Dru grinned. “Don’t die, man-whore.”

Kit rubbed his eyes. “It’s too early to be called a man-whore.”

Dru winked. “It’s _never_ too early to be called a man-whore.”

Kit couldn’t help the smile that slid over his face. The two of them headed toward the mass of people, surrounded by bags filled with weapons, clothes, and other supplies.

Tavvy was trading between hugging Julian and Emma. A tired-looking Cristina was saying something in a neutral voice to Jaime. Helen, Aline, and Mark were standing near Ty, fussing with his hair.

Dru escaped to where her family was offering goodbyes and Kit started towards Magnus, who was also standing distanced from the cluster of people.

Magnus greeted Kit with a cat-like grin. “Christopher!”

“Hey,” Kit returned sleepily. He didn’t understand how everyone had so much energy in the morning.

Magnus didn’t seem to notice Kit’s lack of conversation making. “I assume you’ve recovered from your ‘demon blood incident’?”

“Why is that always the first thing everyone says to me?” Kit laughed distantly. “Yeah.”

“Most demons are dreadful. Just like goats,” Magnus shuddered.

Kit didn’t mention the fact that Magnus was, in fact, part demon. “Am I dreaming or did you just say goats?”

Magnus shivered again. “I have a bad relationship with goats. One stole my hat once.”

“You sound like Mark,” Kit said. “He’s always saying random things like that. Specifically targeted at animals.”

Magnus followed Kit’s gaze to where the rest of the Blackthorns were congregating. “Not going to say goodbye?”

“I’m letting them say theirs first,” Kit admitted. “I feel like it’s more of a family thing.”

Magnus turned to him. “Aren’t you family?”

Kit thought about it. Three years ago, he would have said no, but he didn’t think that was true anymore. Although he didn’t feel as close to the family as Emma, who had spent her whole life with the Blackthorns, he had found comfort among them the last few years. If that’s what family was; love and comfort and warmth, then he supposed that they were his family too.

He nodded. “You’re right.”

Kit started to the center of the room, where Tavvy rushed from his area near Julian and Emma to hug around Kit’s middle. The next few minutes were hugs from Cristina, Helen, Aline, and even Mark. Dru wrapped her arms around Kit’s shoulders, whispering something about Ty in his ear that made his face turn an unholy shade of red.

When they were ready to go, Magnus swirled his arms to open a portal, swirling his hands until the familiar shape came into existence. Kit grabbed his bag and followed Jaime through the swirling shades of translucent blue.

They appeared on a market near the beach, apparent by the lingering smell of saltwater and fish in the air. Stalls were lined up against the narrow street; mundanes selling food, woven blankets, and an array of cheap jewelry under the cloudy sky. (Kit didn’t know the name of the island, but it seemed to be around midday or early morning.)

Magnus was the last to step out of the portal, closing it behind him. “We have _got_ to do something about your suitcases. You look like a herd of gang members.”

Emma snorted. “In a sense, Shadowhunters _are_ similar to a gang.”

Julian laughed. “True. But we kill demons instead of _people_.”

“We should get to the boat,” Ty quickly said, ignoring them all. “Where did you say was selling them?”

Kit could tell Ty was uncomfortable in the large crowd. People were talking loudly all around them, shoving into each other. Ty’s hand that wasn’t holding his suitcase was moving restlessly in the space around him.

“We already rented it,” Julian said. Kit could tell he was picking up on the same signs of Ty’s discomfort. “It should be on the water already.”

Jaime began looking around, his dark eyes flicking around the market. “Where are the docks?”

Kit had been looking as soon as he noticed Ty’s unsettlement. He spotted a sign that indicated the docks were to the left. Pointing, he said, “That way.”

The group started toward the sign, moving through the sea of people easily. Kit could imagine that people saw the way they held themselves, tall and sharp, carrying heavy bags with unknown contents, and stayed clear.

By the time they reached the docks, Julian and Magnus had explained that two other Shadowhunters, the owners of the rented boat, had agreed to their investigation and offered to help catch one of the sea demons.

Kit was imagining two scruffy looking men, with ragged beards to slink out from whatever boat they would be going on.

They started down the main dock, passing boats and ships until they ended up near the end, where two men stood with their backs turned. Magnus pointed at the ship they would be going on, a dark boat that looked surprisingly large, big enough for ten people at the least.

The six of them approached the boat and the two men turned around, the owners of the boat, Kit assumed, and he let out a small gasp.

The first man looked sort of how Kit imagined, a white beard (not as rugged as he had pictured) obscuring his face. He looked to be in his late forties, with slight wrinkles above his eyelids.

But the other man, no, not man, he couldn’t have been any older than Kit and Ty, was jaw-droppingly _gorgeous._ He had blue eyes, the color the sky might have been if the clouds hadn’t overtaken it, and dark hair. If Kit hadn’t been so hung up on Ty, he might have tried something. (Meaning, something more than the random hookup.)

The older man waved towards them and they quickly complied, moving until they were at the edge of the dock, setting their suitcases down.

“You’re Luther?” Julian said to the older man.

He nodded. “You’re the Blackthorns, I take it?”

Magnus laughed. “Well, there’s only two right now. We also have a Bane, a Herondale, a Rosales, and a Carstairs.”

Kit muffled a smile, staring at Luther’s puzzled expression.

“But,” Emma quickly said. “Yes. We rented the boat under the name Blackthorn.”

Luther returned to a cheerful expression, gesturing to the guy beside him. “This is my son, Zale.”

Kit could see the resemblance, they both shared the same blue eyes and the height. Kit could tell from a distance that Zale was between Kit and Ty’s height; shorter than Ty, but taller than Kit.

So much for being intimidating.

The group went around and introduced themselves and thankfully, this time Magnus didn’t spark anymore confusion.

“I’ll give you a tour of the boat,” Luther said after the introductions had ceased.

They all picked up their bags, moving toward the ship.

“Does your boat have a name?” Emma asked, rolling her suitcase, along with carrying Cortana in the other hand.

Luther raked his eyes over the floating device. “Serenity.”

Jaime hopped onboard, followed by Emma and Julian. Ty had just started to step over the line when Zale leaned towards him.

“Can I get that for you?” Zale asked, referring to Ty’s bag.

Ty nodded and Zale reached for the bag. Hauling it into the security of the boat.

Magnus and Kit followed suit, and Kit couldn’t help but notice that Zale did _not_ offer to help with his own bag.

Luther showed them around the boat; there was a kitchen, a main sitting cabin, a bathroom, and five bedrooms. Luther and Zale would each be getting their own rooms. Jamie and Magnus, Emma and Julian, and Ty and Kit would share.

“Do you all have everything you need?” Luther asked. “I was thinking we should start out now. It will take about a day to get to the Tenebrous trench. If we start now, we should be able to get there near sunset tomorrow.”

A chorus of agreements echoed around the ship, and Luther walked off to unhook the boat.

Kit followed Ty to the room they had to share, and was relieved to find there were two different beds. Thank the Angel, he didn’t think he could handle it, being in the same bed as Ty. It would be hard enough to be in the same room, breathing the same air.

Ty began to unpack, placing his things around the room. “Which bed?”

“What?” Kit realized he had been standing in the doorframe, taking in the space.

Ty raised an eyebrow. “Which bed do you want?”

“Whichever one isn’t yours,” Kit said, before realizing how bad that sounded. “I mean, whichever one you don’t want.”

Ty shrugged. “I guess I’ll take that one.”

He laid himself down on the nearest bed. Leaving Kit to seat himself on the opposite one, staring at Ty. This was one of the moments he wished he could draw, so he could sketch Ty, so casually, with his eyes closed as he lay across the bedsheets.

“Ty,” Kit said lowly. So quiet he could hardly tell if the word was a whisper or nonexistent at all.

Ty must have had sharp ears, because he opened an eye, focusing on Kit’s demeanor. “Yes?”

“You’re lovely,” Kit blurted and then almost went up in flames when he realized the words that had come out of his mouth.

Lovely? Who even _said_ that? He could have said so many things… like how smart Ty was or how much he loved Ty’s eyes or how happy Ty made him or…

Or he could have said _nothing_ at all which would have been _so_ much better. Now he would die from mortal embarrassment… screw sea demons. Kit was fantasizing about plunging himself into the ocean and getting devoured by sharks when Ty said. Ty said…

“Oh,” he paused. “You’re lovely too.”

And then Kit was smiling, opening his mouth to tell Ty more things, to compliment his hair or his intelligence or possibly blurt out something even worse than what he had said before when Zale opened the door to the room. Standing warmly in the doorframe, like he hadn’t just ruined a moment.

But maybe the moment had only been in Kit’s mind because Ty looked up quickly, greeting Zale. “Hi.”

“Hey. You’re Ty, right?” Zale asked, completely ignoring Kit’s existence.

“Yeah,” Ty replied. “And that’s Kit.”

Zale smiled, not looking away from Ty, and Kit was struck with the sudden twinge of dislike. Whether it was for him blankly neglecting Kit or something about the way he was looking at Ty, he couldn’t tell.

Kit couldn’t help but say his next words with rudeness. “Did you need something or…?”

Ty turned to look at him, surprised by his tone, but Zale didn’t seem to hear it. Instead, the blue-eyed boy smiled even wider, “Yes, actually. We wanted to go over the plan for tomorrow, you can fill us in on the investigation.”

“Okay,” Ty agreed. He started towards the doorway, moving past Zale. Kit watched Zale’s eyes trail after Ty, watching him carefully.

Zale didn’t wait for Kit, he left the room, following Ty.

Kit groaned once he was alone in the room. He had just called Ty lovely, and he had said it back. And now some angelic stranger was looking at Ty like he was the most beautiful person on this planet (which he _was,_ but only _Kit_ was allowed to think that.)

He may or may not have yelled into his pillow before leaving the room, putting on his signature Herondale charm like a mask.

  
  


They spent the next few hours plotting out the plan for the fight the next day. Julian pulled out the bars they would use to strap the sea demon down, securing its tentacles and leaving it unable to escape. Magnus had found a way to craft a spell on the bars to render the demon unconscious as long as the bar applied pressure on the demon’s flesh, able to flow its energy into the creature.

Throughout all of dinner later that night, Kit watched Zale be _sickenly_ sweet to Ty, giving a stray compliment every time he opened his mouth. And, to Kit’s absolute _horror,_ Ty seemed to be enjoying it. He was returning Zales stares with shy smiles of his own.

When dinner had ended, Luther was describing a boat story to Julian, while Magnus was telling Emma about Max and Rafe. Zale and Ty had left the table, Zale had said something about wanting to show Ty around the front of the ship's deck a few minutes before.

Kit had been amazed at his own self restraint. He _didn’t_ end up spearing a fork into Zale’s _perfect_ neck no matter how much he had wanted too.

Jaime turned to Kit at the table, his dark eyes were curious. “Is everything okay? You seem a little off.”

“Like you care,” Kit spat, leaning back in his chair.

“You look like an angry gorilla,” Jaime teased. “With blonde hair. It’s quite unpleasant.”

Kit almost laughed at that. “Well you usually look like a donkey’s ass, yes, pun _intended_ , so I think we’re pretty even.”

Jaime smirked. “I feel very honored to be noticed by you at all.”

Kit threw a napkin at him, unable to keep from smiling.

Emma snapped out of her conversation and turned to the two of them. “Guys, we’re _guests_ on a boat. Stop throwing things.”

Jaime opened his mouth to object, but Kit had silenced him with a look. Jaime’s eyes flashed dangerously.

Kit stood up from the table. “I’m going to find Ty.”

Luther looked up at him, “Check the front deck, that’s where the best view is. Zale takes everyone there.”

“Thanks,” Kit said. He stalked through the narrow hallway of the boats underside, then climbed up a ladder until he emerged on the roof of the boat.

The sky had brushstrokes of rose and violet, the warm shades reflected off the sea around the boat. Kit had always loved the ocean, living in Los Angeles there were seldom people who didn’t. Emma was one of the few exceptions.

Kit rounded the railing of the ship, moving to where he saw Ty and Zale standing, looking out over the water.

The falling light cast a gold aura around Ty’s body and Kit found himself catching his breath when he turned around to look at him.

“Kit,” Ty smiled kindly. “Zale’s showing me around the boat. Isn’t the view amazing?”

Kit nodded, the sun was glaring directly in his eye, the only figures slightly blocking it out were Ty and Zale. “It is.”

“Are you guys ready to trap the demon tomorrow?” Zale said.

“Yep,” Kit replied nonchalantly. “What about you? Living on a boat must prevent your demon fighting skills.”

Zale looked surprised. “Not really. We’re on shore a lot of the time, actually. And as it turns out, tropical islands have a lot of demons.”

Ty turned toward him, interested. “What kind of Islands have you been too?”

Zale looked excited to be elaborating on the details of islands. He sparked off on a descriptive speech about isles glamoured from mundanes and the different demons that roamed there. As much as Kit wouldn’t admit it, he was impressed at Zale’s exotic demon experience.

When Zale was finished, he looked at Kit. “You only found out you were a Shadowhunter a few years ago, right?”

Kit startled, confused as to how Zale knew that information but Ty turned to him, voice soft, “I told him.”

“Yeah,” Kit said cautiously. “Three years.”

Ty glanced at Kit. “He’s a good fighter. It’s like he’s been one his whole life.”

“Technically I have,” Kit said. “I just didn’t know it.”

Kit didn’t mention the time he had been wary, almost scared of Shadowhunters. That time seemed like a world away, a world without the Blackthorns or Ty or any idea or who he was.

A Rook to a Herondale, it seemed like a cruel joke.

Ty returned back to looking over the water. “Zale, could I talk to Kit alone for a minute?”

Kit felt a jolt go through him.

Zale sent an odd look at the two of them, and started off, disappearing to the inside of the boat.

“He seems nice,” Kit honestly said. And he _did,_ which made the way he looked at Ty that much worse. But what right did Kit have on Ty? _He didn’t._ Especially not when he had made the decision to lie to Ty the day before, about something that _obviously_ meant a lot to him.

“He is,” Ty said. The ocean was dark under the boat, waves lightly crashing against the steel as they skimmed past.

Kit scratched the back of his neck. “What did you want to talk to me about?”

Ty turned his entire body towards him, a sign that he was trying to indicate something important. “I’ve always loved Sherlock Holmes. You know that.”

That was _not_ what Kit was expecting. He awkwardly raised an eyebrow, trying to focus on Ty. “I know?”

“So you know that I like to know things,” Ty said. His grey eyes were moving around Kit’s face, not quite looking in his eyes. “To figure out questions that I’ve been wondering.”

Kit was _not_ following along. “Okay..?”

“And I have a clue,” Ty said. “At least I think I do.”

Kit was silent, trying to uncover the riddles Ty was speaking in.

“So I’m going to figure it out,” Ty finalized. “Because it’s something I think I _need_ to know.”

Ty’s eyes were begging Kit to understand something.

Ty looked up at him, eyes settling on Kit’s hair. “I’ve been thinking lately about the way things are, and how I want them to change. And once I figure it out, I think I’ll be able to decide.”

_Change what? Decide what?_

Kit was supposed to be able to read Ty’s mind, but he could only go so far. “If you’re talking about the investigation, you need to be a little bit more clear.”

“No,” Ty breathed. He looked silently frustrated. “This isn’t about the investigation.”

“Ty,” Kit began. “I don’t-”

Ty stopped him. “I just thought you should know. I _wanted_ to tell you because I thought you should know.”

 _But I_ don’t _know._

“Ty,” Kit said again. “If you could just-”

“You don’t need to say anything,” Ty said. “I just wanted to make sure you knew.”

_Knew what?_

“Okay,” Kit replied. It was apparent Ty was going to say _exactly_ what he was talking about.

Ty allowed that as an answer. “Okay.”

They watched the sunset in complete silence, until the sky was covered in stars and the only source of light was the moon. Ty’s words echoed in Kit’s head, but they weren’t forming into anything coherent.

Serenity was a good name for the boat, Kit thought, because he felt the most peace he had since before the investigation had started. With the wind in his hair, the water beneath him, and Ty next to him, he felt weightless.

Whoever this person was; the one with the elements and the tranquilly and the ability not to mess everything up like he always did, was who he wanted to be.

And if the stars could talk, Kit would say by their twinkling light, that they agreed with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading as always! Also, thank you for every comment and like, it means so much! Next update sometime this week. :)


	8. Secrets and Half-Confessions

Kit always thought he was a talkative person, fairly outgoing, able to hold a conversation with anyone. Growing up as an only child, and with a dad that didn’t treat him particularly  _ kindly,  _ had forced him to seek comfort in other people. So, in the Shadow Market he had been well known, talking to anyone who so much  _ looked _ at him. And he was pretty good at it.

Which was exactly why he was so shocked when he couldn’t think of a single thing to say in the small room he was currently sharing with Ty.

They had filtered into the room an hour before and flung themselves onto their separate beds. Kit was currently turned to the wall, anxiously aware of the lamplight still lit on Ty’s side of the room.

Kit’s mind was filled with thoughts, preventing him from falling asleep. Whether it was his own imagination or not, the room seemed to be overflowing with unspoken tension. Kit kept referring back to what Lyle (the Shadowhunter from the night before) had said to him, ‘Then you have to become someone he  _ can  _ want. Someone  _ you  _ want to be.’

And it was true.

Kit knew one thing for sure, and that was whoever he wanted to be, wasn’t a liar. So, he decided, still facing the wall, he was going to tell Ty the truth. The  _ whole  _ truth. About his feelings for Ty and the kiss he had lied about and why he had been acting out the past year. Kit knew it wouldn’t excuse him for the things he had done, but it was a start.

Taking a deep breath, Kit flipped himself over on the bed, facing the light originating from Ty’s area, “Ty I-”

But he was speaking to an empty room. The sheets of Ty’s bed were rustled, the only thing sitting atop it was a shut book, with a title Kit couldn’t make out.

Sighing, Kit rushed out of the bed, shivering at the cool air. He grabbed a witchlight from a mini-table near the corner, flinging the door open and started winding through the dark hallways of the boat, searching for the quickest way to the top of the boat, exactly where he knew Ty would be.

He found Ty leaning against the rail at the front of the ship, looking like someone out of a movie against the backdrop of the water. Kit let himself absorb Ty in his black-and-white beauty, the span of his shoulders, the slenderness of his body, the softness of his neck.

Then, Kit started toward Ty, making sure his footsteps were loud enough that his presence wouldn’t startle him. He knew Ty wasn’t keen to loud noises and Kit knew it was even worse to catch him off guard.

Ty seemed to recognize the sound of Kit approaching and he turned to him, a small smile appearing on his face. “I thought you were asleep.”

“No,” Kit said. “I didn’t realize you had left.”

Ty returned to gazing up at the night sky. “I wanted to see the stars. They’re so much brighter than they are back home.”

Kit turned his attention to the sky, seeing the billions and billions of stars glowing back at him. They seemed to light up the entire expanse of the darkness, burning a thousand times brighter than any of the ones in Los Angeles.

“Did you know,” Ty began, using his informative tone. “That the larger a star is, the quicker it dies. A smaller star has a larger life span.”

“Interesting,” Kit said truthfully. “It’s strange to think that stars don’t live forever.”

“Nothing does,” Ty whispered.

There was something in Ty’s voice that sent a chill through Kit. “Ty?”

Ty ignored him, instead, his voice returned to normal. “Jules used to say that talking under the stars made people tell their secrets.”

Kit laughed. “Did he?”

“Yes,” Ty answered the rhetorical question. “Tell me a secret.”

“A secret?” Kit laughed, trying to hide the rush of nerves he felt. “What makes you think I have any?”

“Everyone does,” Ty said. “It can be something simple.”

“Alright,” Kit agreed. “But you have to go next.”

“Okay,” Ty replied.

Kit straightened, coming to stand beside Ty, facing out into the open sea. “I steal things.”

“That’s not a secret,” Ty laughed. “I knew that already. I think  _ everyone  _ knows that.”

“Fine,” Kit smiled charmingly. “I steal things not because I need them, but because having something that belongs to someone else… I don’t know, it reminds me that we all have  _ things.  _ Some of us have more than others, some of us have less. But we all have something. And everything I take, it has a story. And by taking whatever object I take, I only add to the story of it.”

Ty looked confused. “Acceptable. Except, I still don’t think that reasoning makes it okay to steal.”

“Maybe,” Kit grinned. “Your turn.”

“I care what people think,” Ty said.

Kit caught a flash of grey eyes. “Me too.”

“Sometimes when I’m reading, I can’t focus. Too many thoughts, floating around in my head. So I’m just sitting there, rereading the same page over and over again.”

“What do you think about?”

Ty didn’t answer. “Your turn.”

“I think about my dad a lot,” Kit admitted.

Kit didn’t elaborate and Ty didn’t ask him too. “I think about mine too.”

“I’ll never admit it to anyone but you,” Kit started. “But I don’t hate ducks.”

Ty’s jaw dropped. “What?”

Kit laughed. “I know it’s supposed to be in my nature to hate them, but I don’t, not really anyway. I’m not a huge fan of them, but I don’t have a bone-deep hatred like Jace.”

“I’m pretending like you didn’t say that,” Ty said.

Kit stared out, trying to commit the way the moon looked against the waves as a memory. It was different from the waves at the beach. In the middle of the ocean, the water seemed to be speaking to the sky. Communicating with color and sound.

The meaningless secret seemed to hang in the air, stretching out, until Ty spoke again, serious this time.

“Do you remember what I was saying about the stars earlier?” Ty mumbled. “That a bigger one has a smaller lifespan?”

“Yes.”

“Sometimes I think about it like Livvy and I,” Ty said. “She was the one everyone noticed. I’ve always been the quieter one, the smaller star.”

“Ty,” Kit said. “That’s not-”

“It’s not fair,” Ty said. “Livvy should have stayed. Shouldn’t the ones that shine be able to live longer? Shouldn’t the ones that burn brighter be able to exist forever? It should be the opposite. The smaller stars should have to die quicker. They have less to give, less to offer and-”

“Ty,  _ no. _ ” Kit reached past the space between them to grab Ty’s shoulder. “You can’t let yourself think that way.”

“Your turn,” Ty said so softly Kit wasn’t sure if he was imagining it or not.

“You're not the small star and neither is Livvy. You're both beautiful, in completely different ways. While yes, Livvy was bright and was the more outgoing of the two of you… You have different ways of working. You’re cautious and careful around everyone you first meet, which is  _ not  _ a bad thing. You make people fight for your affection. And you  _ should.  _ Ty, most people don’t deserve for you to even  _ look  _ at them. I know I don’t. Because here’s the thing…”

Ty’s hands had begun to swirl around his sides, trying to grasp fistfuls of fresh air.

Kit took a deep breath. “You’re captivating. Everything about you is. The way you smile and the way you communicate using body language and the way you listen to music because sometimes the rush of the world is too much. Ty, I can’t stand to hear you say you’re anything less than you are.”   


Ty was looking at him with an expression Kit couldn’t read.

“And, yes, I know how horribly  _ soapy  _ this is going to sound, but Ty,” Kit could hardly breathe anymore. The words were coming out of him unfiltered. He didn’t seem to be talking of his own accord anymore. It was the truth and it wasn’t stopping. “You’re the brightest star I’ve ever seen.”

“Kit-” Ty began.

“No. No more secrets. I need to get this out.”

The weight of all the lies had been pressing down on his chest for years and they were only piling up. Kit didn’t think it would take much more for them all to crush him. Until he was buried underneath his secrets with no way to escape.

“Ty I-”

_ I love you, and not in the way you think I do. In the way that Helen loves Aline. In the way Julian loves Emma. In the way Mark and Cristina and Kieran love each other. _

And before he could utter another single word Jaime  _ fucking  _ Rosales opened the trapdoor that led to the rooftop and peeked his head out from beneath the metal opening. He looked tired, like he had just gotten out of bed, still with mussed hair and comfortable clothes.

Kit gritted his teeth. He was going to throw Jaime off this boat, it was settled.

Jaime blinked tiredly up at the two of them. “Sorry, am I interrupting something?”

Kit opened his mouth to say ‘yes’, most likely mixed in with a few swear words, but Ty had already responded.

“No. Did you need anything?”

Kit felt pain wash over him, did Ty not understand what he had been saying?

Jaime must have seen the faint anger rush over Kit’s expression because he said, “Are you sure?”

“No, we were just talking,” Kit spoke this time. “Nothing important.”

“Okay,” Jaime breathed. “Well, we have a bit of a problem.”

Kit sighed, still slightly hurt. “What is it?”

“Well,” Jaime said. “Two problems actually.”

“In the middle of the night?” Ty asked. “Tell us.”

“Well number one,” Jaime began. “Magnus is trying to kill Luther.”

“What?!” Kit frowned at Jaime’s calmness. “What happened?”

Jaime didn’t answer the question, instead, he spoke again in his even voice. “That isn’t even the worse problem.”

“What could be worse than that?” Kit yelled.

“The boat’s sinking.”

Kit put his head in his hands.

Ty was the one who straightened, his hands moving frantically around him. “Can we fix it? Why is it sinking?”

“And shouldn’t Magnus  _ not  _ be trying to kill the only person who  _ can  _ fix it?” Kit asked hurriedly.

“Magnus  _ is  _ sinking the boat,” Jaime said.

“Why?” Kit and Ty said at the same time.

“Just follow me,” Jaime said. He calmly turned and ducked beneath the ship, out of sight.

Kit and Ty exchanged a glance before moving after Jaime, both confused.

Jaime was ahead of them, moving through the small hallways on the boat’s underside.

“Thank you,” Ty whispered. “For what you were saying before. I know what you meant.”

_ I  _ really  _ don’t think you do. _

“Yeah,” Kit responded. He felt dazed, as if he was walking through a distorted dream. “Of course.”

The three of them stepped into a well-lit room, where Magnus was shouting at Luther, his cat eyes glowing a rich yellow in the lighting. Only then did Kit see the water slowly filling into the room, barely reaching his ankles.

Luther was backing up into a corner, staring astounded at a furious Magnus. “I swear I didn’t mean anything by it.”

Magnus laughed bitterly. “Was that before or after you said it?”

Ty’s eyes searched the room, looking for the source of the water entry. Kit could see his hands clenching at his sides, as if to hold them down.

Kit turned to Jaime, his voice low. “What is Magnus mad about?”

“Luther said something bad about Alec,” Jaime answered. “I’m not sure what it was, but obviously it pissed Magnus off.”

Kit hadn’t known Magnus or Alec as closely as the rest of the Los Angeles Institute, but he could tell Magnus was incredibly powerful, and he valued family more than anything. Kit would never have dared to utter a single negative thing about anyone close to Magnus.

“There’s a hole underneath where Magnus is standing,” Ty said. “He has to calm down, I think. If not, more water’s going to come in.”

Kit silently watched Magnus threaten Luther. He scanned the area beneath Magnus, seeing that yes, like Ty had noticed, the water was filtering in through a hole concealed by the warlock’s shifting feet.

“Did you wake up the others?” Kit asked Jaime, trying to come up with a plan.

“I did,” Jaime said. “I didn’t elaborate too much on the situation.”

Kit ran a hand through his hair. “Did you tell them Magnus was sinking the boat?”

Jaime’s expression changed. “No.”

Kit sighed.

Ty didn’t appear to be listening to either one of them. Kit watched as Ty walked over to Magnus, saying something in a voice he couldn’t hear. Magnus didn’t withstand his offensive stance, but the tension in his shoulders lessened slightly.

Kit was hit with a familiar admiration for Ty, who had the ability to calm anyone down with only the comforting tone of his voice. Something about Ty relaxed him, it always had, until it had changed into something restless and painful, like a parasite he couldn’t get out of his system. Ty seemed to have the same peaceful effect on Magnus. It was noticeable in the way the water was slowing its rise.

Luther moved across the room, away from Magnus who was staring at Ty like he was the sun, and came to stand beside Kit and Jaime.

“What did you say about Alec?” Kit asked.

Luther ran a hand through his white beard. “I don’t remember.”

Jaime frowned. “I’d be careful around here from now on.”

Kit couldn’t help the rush of anger he felt toward Luther. Before he could voice his own bitter judgment at him; Emma, Julian, and Zale entered the room.

Emma’s hair was pulled into a tangled braid, it swung around her as she took in the scene before her. “Why is the floor filled with water?”

“You didn’t tell them about the boat sinking  _ either?”  _ Kit asked. He fought the urge to laugh at Jaime’s facial expression.

“The boat’s  _ sinking? _ ” Zale questioned, wearing a frightened look.

“It was,” Jaime quickly said. “But don’t worry! It’s not anymore.”

Zale didn’t look assured. “That’s not helpful.”

“It  _ was  _ helpful,” Kit corrected. “He told you that the boat’s fine. See? No worries.”

“Are you serious right now?” Zale wondered aloud. “You don’t think this water is going to cause any damage? It could have effects on the electricity, it could cause problems on the foundation of the boat, how are we even going to get it out of here?”

“It’s only up to the ankles,” Kit said hopefully.

Jaime face palmed beside him.

Zale laughed sarcastically. “Are you joking?”

“It  _ is  _ only up to the ankles,” Jaime said helpfully.

Julian turned to look at Magnus and Ty who were standing in the middle of the room. “Is everything okay now?”

Magnus was looking around the room now, concealing whatever anger that had been overwhelming him before. Ty stood beside him, looking toward Julian.

“Yes,” Ty said. He gave a warm look to his older brother.

Julian relaxed, shifting to look at Emma. “Back to bed?”

She gave a tired nod, waving behind her as the two former parabatai started up the dark hallway.

“I should probably be getting back to my room too,” Kit said. He wasn’t having any of the glares Zale was giving him.

Zale gave him an angry look. “Then who’s cleaning up the water?”

“I will,” Magnus said, returning to his normal self. He wiggled his fingers, giving a small smile. “I can use magic to fix the hole and clean up the rest.”

Luther looked relieved.

Magnus must have noticed his expression because he sent Luther a look with slit eyelids. “And  _ you _ better keep your derogatory comments to yourself. Or else next time, I  _ will  _ sink your boat. And you will go down with it.”

Kit muffled a smile at Magnus’ voice. The warlock shot a wink at him, before turning back to the watered contents of the room and began to swirl his arms, blue electricity coming from his fingertips.

Kit gave a mocking smile at Luther and Zale before he exited the hall and began to head back towards the room Ty and him were sharing. Thankfully, he could feel faint exhaustion from the day before begin to creep in. It was a relief; he had thought the shift forward in time would leave him up all night.

He heard Ty’s soft footsteps behind him, something he could pick out by three years of memorization. It was almost impossible for Kit not to try to memorize everything about Ty; from his footsteps to his breaths to his heartbeat.

Kit ducked into their shared room and didn’t go to his bed, but instead closed his eyes and leaned against the nearest wall. It felt nice to have something solid pressed against him, reminding him that he was on a boat in the water, still existent.

He heard the door of the room shut and he peeled open his eyelids, seeing Ty concentrating on him.

“I have nightmares,” Kit said into the silence. He didn’t know why he had said it. It was something he hadn’t told anyone, hadn’t mentioned out loud before. But there was something about the way Ty was looking at him, like he knew everything Kit thought. Like he  _ wanted _ to know.

He was so, so tired, of all the secrets.

And telling secrets from earlier had him wanting to tell Ty everything.

Ty tilted his head, listening intently.

“They started after we resurrected Livvy,” Kit paused, trying to read Ty’s reaction. “I used to have them all the time, for the first year afterward. Then slowly, the distance between them got wider and wider, and now they happen every few months or so.”

“What are they about?” Ty seemed to understand Kit wanted him to listen.

“It’s the same dream, over and over again,” Kit described. “There’s Livvy and you and me. And, I can’t explain it exactly but a  _ feeling  _ comes over me. Then I can’t control what I’m doing and I can see my hands reaching out toward both of you but I can’t  _ feel _ it. I can never feel anything until it’s over.”

“Until what’s over?”

“I-” Kit closed his eyes. “I kill you, both of you. With my bare hands.”

Ty stayed silent.

“It’s horrible,” Kit whispered. “Ty, I don’t know why my mind does it, or what a monster it makes me to even dream it up…”

Ty placed an arm on Kit’s shoulder, rubbing his fingers against the fabric of Kit’s sweatshirt. “It’s a dream. It doesn’t make you a monster.”

Kit opened his eyes, realizing that tears had begun to trail down his cheeks. It had been such a long time since he had cried that the action felt wrong and unnatural.

Ty seemed to notice Kit’s tears and he pulled the shorter boy towards him, wrapping his arms around Kit’s shoulder blades. Kit exhaled a sigh, coming to lay his head in the curve of Ty’s neck.

“Sometimes our minds make us think strange thoughts,” Ty said into Kit’s hair. “I know you’d never hurt me. And I hope you know I would never hurt you.”

Kit nodded, his chin brushing the connection between Ty’s shoulder and neck. “I know.”

Ty held Kit in his arms until Kit forgot why. They didn’t talk, just focused on the calming breaths of one another. The faint rocking of the boat beneath them was the only movement Kit could feel and the only thing he could hear, besides the all-encompassing  _ everything  _ of Ty, was the faraway crash of the waves against Serenity.

He would tell Ty everything tomorrow, he decided.

The moment between the two of them was fragile, and Kit didn’t want to be the one to break it.

Because everything would be broken eventually, it was only a matter of time. **  
**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As usual thank you for everyone continuing to read, comment, and like! I have some plans as to where this is going so *raises eyebrows skillfully* saddle up.


	9. The Dark Tide

The next day dawned with blazing orange and roaring red. The sun had risen early in the morning and the warm colors had just begun to wash away with the start of mid-day. On the open water, the ocean was a pure reflection of the sky.

All the inhabitants of the boat were currently gathered on the main deck, going over the plan for catching a sea demon that evening. Julian had hauled the equipment they had previously forged a few days before to the side of the boat. Emma and Ty were securing the chains to the ship’s railing and Magnus was putting last-minute adjustments to the bars that would make one of the sea demons lose consciousness.

Luther and Zale were sitting nearby, examining the demon mixture that the members of the Institute had created after finding all the ingredients. Kit caught Magnus throwing occasional glares at Luther (after last night's incident) and tried not to smile.

“Do you think we should help?” Jaime asked, from the chair beside Kit. The two had planted themselves farther away from the others, absorbing the sun and watching everyone prepare for later that evening.

“There’s no way to know exactly how the demons are going to attack us,” Kit pointed out. “So, no.”

Jaime’s dark eyes were hooded. “That doesn’t… what?”

“How are we supposed to set up everything, if we don’t even know where the demons are going to be?”

“There will be multiple of them,” Jaime explained. “It’s safe to assume that they could come up anywhere from the water. Which means one of them is bound to be within range of the demon trapper?”

Kit laughed, looking up at Jaime. “Demon trapper? Is that what we’re calling it now?”

Jaime scowled, although his dark eyes shined mischievously. “Yes. But you didn’t answer my question, shouldn’t we be helping?”

“We could be,” Kit offered. Instead of getting out of his seat, he took a deep breath and leaned backward, tilting his face up to the bright sky. “I’d rather be getting some sun though.”

“Sun?” Jaime looked Kit up and down. “You live in Los Angeles. Don’t you get enough sun?”

“True,” Kit answered. He shot a slow glance at Jaime, “You could use it though. Maybe it could add some blonde highlights to your hair.”

“I have black hair.”

“No, you have  _ dark _ hair,” Kit smiled. “Ty has black hair.”

Jaime raised an eyebrow, apparently dropping the ‘helping out’ subject. “You think I don’t know my own hair color?”

Kit smirked in response, shrugging his shoulders. The wind blew softly through his hair, running its hands through the strands like a ghost.

“Speaking of Ty,” Jaime began.

Kit interrupted him, his heart jumping to his throat. “What about Ty? Is everything okay?”

“Uh, yes?” Jaime looked confused by Kit’s outburst. “At least, I think so.”

“Okay, good.” Kit visibly relaxed, leaning comfortably into the chair’s back.

“He was asking me questions earlier,” Jaime said. “That’s why I brought it up.”

“Questions? About what?”

“He was wondering about necromancy,” Jaime countered. “For the investigation, I assume.”

Kit blinked. “What specifically was he asking?”

“He was talking about behavioral patterns, in those risen from the dead. Ty was going on and on about whether or not the necromantic results would have an effect on personality. He said that he was trying to understand if a necromantic subject had personality changes the more time progresses after said subject was risen. Do you… Do you know why he was asking?”

_ Livvy,  _ Kit thought.  _ But she seemed perfectly fine personality-wise the last time he had seen her… _

“For the investigation,” Kit lied. “Didn’t you say a minute ago that’s why you thought he was asking?”

Jaime nodded, scanning Kit suspiciously. “I did. But I don’t understand why he wants to know about  _ behavioral patterns _ .”

“Me either,” Kit looked away, desperate to move away from the conversation. “Why was he asking you of all people? No offense, but couldn’t he have asked, I don’t know, somebody who had  _ some  _ basics of magic? Like Magnus?”

“That is the second time since I have arrived at the Institute that you have questioned my capabilities,” Jaime grinned. “Are you doubting my knowledge?”

“Your  _ knowledge? _ ” Kit snorted. “Sorry. I wasn’t aware you were so educated on necromancy.”

“I’m not, actually,” Jaime answered. “You were right. I sent him to Magnus for answers, since I had no idea.”

Kit beamed, excited to be right. “See? Called it.”

Jaime seemed to remember something, his eyes lighting up. “Actually, Ty asked me something else. Which is why he probably asked me in the first place.”

“What was it this time?” Kit asked. “Wait, let me guess… How to make banana bread?”

“Close,” Jaime jokingly replied. “I was actually surprised… He asked me how to flirt.”

_ “FLIRT?”  _ Kit bolted upright in his seat, his blue eyes wide enough that they hurt. “No. Not Ty. Ty doesn’t-”

“Flirt?” Jaime smiled, seeming content at Kit’s shock. “Apparently not. But he was asking  _ how to _ so I imagine-”

“No. Ty can’t… Ty wouldn’t want too-” Kit was rambling angrily under his breath. His eyes sought out Ty, who was standing talking to Emma a few yards away from them. Then, Kit watched, horrified, as Zale walked over to the two of them, greeting them with a sickenly charming smile.

Kit jerked his head back to Jaime. “What did you tell him?”

“About flirting?” Jaime asked. He crossed his arms in front of his chest, his expression one of mocking delight. “Why do you want to know?”

“I’m his best friend,” Kit retorted. “Besides, we’re in the middle of an investigation. He shouldn’t be…  _ flirting. _ ”

Jaime laughed. “Didn’t you go out a few nights ago? While we were doing the investigation? I saw you going somewhere, and I don’t think it was for a late-night walk on the beach.”

“Yeah, but that’s  _ me.  _ Ty doesn’t flirt, Ty doesn’t go out. Trust me, I would know. There’s no one he even  _ talks  _ to that he’s remotely interested in.”

Jaime looked bored. Blandly, he pointed to where Zale was talking between a smiling Ty and Emma. “What about that guy?”

Kit ignored him. “He could have asked  _ me. _ ”

“If he could flirt?” Jaime yawned, stretching his arms up over his head. “I don’t think you have a real say in what Ty does and doesn’t do. Now, Julian on the other hand-”

“Not if he  _ could, _ ” Kit said. “He could have asked me  _ how  _ to.”

“Now you’re rigging on my flirting skills?” Jaime scoffed. “I happen to be  _ very  _ good at flirting. Ty came to ask the right guy.”

Kit sighed, drawing both his hands up to run through his hair. “It doesn’t matter. I'm going to talk to Ty.”

Jaime smirked. “Great. Can I put my feet on your chair?”

“Are you asking permission?” Kit smiled. “Sure.”

Kit caught a flash of Jaime situating himself between the two seats before he turned and started to where Emma, Zale, and Ty were standing. He heard Emma saying something to the two of them in a light voice as he neared.

“We should be nearing the Tenebrous trench soon,” Zale was saying. “My dad said we’re going to sail for an hour or so into it before we spill the demon mixture.”

“Great!” Emma cheered, excited at news of demon-slaying. “Cortana and I are ready.”

“Ready for what?” Kit said, loud enough for the group of three to hear him.

Zale turned toward him, looking delightfully surprised. “Look who finally decided to help out.”

“We didn’t need help,” Ty said quietly, moving his gaze apologetically to Kit. “Emma, Julian, Magnus, and I set everything out for the fight tonight.”

Emma nodded, her brown eyes glancing over to where Julian had joined Jaime on the deck chairs. “I’m going to ask Julian about something.”

She left, her blonde hair shining in the sunlight.

“Is everything okay?” Ty asked Kit. He must have noticed the tension in Kit’s posture, the slight clench of his fists. Kit wasn’t sure if Ty asking had anything to do with the recurring nightmare Kit had told him about last night or if he could sense that it was something else.

“I’m fine,” Kit replied. And then softer, “Could I talk to you for a minute?”

Kit watched Ty’s eyes flick to Zale, who was already heading toward Magnus, “I think I’m going to apologize for what my dad said last night. You guys go ahead.”

Kit saw Ty watch Zale join Magnus near the boat’s railing before he turned back to Kit. “What did you want to talk about?”

“Two things, actually,” Kit admitted. “Could we go… somewhere else?”

Ty nodded, starting toward the empty dock at the back of the boat. The closer they edged toward the back of Serenity, the more the wind calmed to a barely-there breeze. Kit couldn’t help but take slow glimpses of Ty, who seemed to be intently focused on the wood making up the boat’s ground.

“Ty?” Kit asked so the dark-haired boy would glance up at him.

Ty tilted his head down at Kit, eyes roaming the different sections of his face. “Hm?”

“This is going to sound dumb,” Kit began, trying to contain any emotion from overwhelming his face. “But did you… are you trying to-”

Ty wore a confused expression. “Am I trying to…?”

“Flirt,” Kit blurted, hating himself when he realized the word came out coursed with jealousy.

The taller boy’s eyes widened, his pale cheekbones flushing with pink. “I- What?”

“Jaime told me you were asking him about flirting,” Kit admitted, glancing away from Ty. “I know it’s none of my business but-”

Ty’s voice rang out hoarse. “He… He told you that?”

“It’s fine Ty,” Kit quickly said, realizing Ty was embarrassed. “If you want to flirt with Zale then I get it.”

“Flirt with Zale?” Ty said, his face still crimson. “Why would I-”

Kit interrupted him, trying to look as nonchalant as possible. “I can give you tips if you need them.”

“Tips?” Ty had turned his head to look out at the water, drawing his face away from Kit. “I don’t think I-”

“Ty, really, it’s nothing to be embarrassed about,” Kit said, trying to relax Ty. “I flirt with people all the time, it’s no big deal.”

Ty’s fingertips had started to move rapidly at his sides, drumming random patterns onto the side of his thigh. “You do it all the time?”

Kit flushed, not realizing what a loaded statement that had sounded like. “Well no, not really but-”

“Kit, I really don’t want to talk about this,” Ty admitted. “It’s not something I’m comfortable with.”

“Okay,” Kit said. “Well if you ever need to talk about it or-”

“I don’t think I will.”

Kit couldn’t help but be surprised at Ty’s tone. “Well-”

“Wasn’t there something else you wanted to talk about?” Ty softly asked. “You said you had two things you wanted to ask me.”

“Yeah,” Kit felt dazed. He couldn’t read Ty’s expression but something was different then it had been a few moments before, like something was wrong. He decided to move past it, which was obviously what Ty wanted. “When you were talking to Jaime… you were also asking about Livvy, weren’t you?”

“I-” Ty started. “Yes.”

“I don’t understand,” Kit began. “Jaime said you were asking about behavioral patterns. The last time I saw Livvy she seemed perfectly fine. She acts exactly like she did before… when she was alive.”

“I haven’t told you everything about Livvy recently,” Ty said. “Between the investigation and the demon blood you swallowed-”

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” Kit mumbled. “I’m not trying to force you to tell me-”

“No, I want too,” Ty decided. “I  _ have _ wanted to tell you. Which is part of the reason I followed you that night into the city… not just because of the demons. Livvy was with me and I was going to show you but… I don’t know. It was late and…”

“What did you want to show me that night?” Kit asked quietly. “Are you worried about Livvy?”

“I am,” Ty answered. “What you were saying before, about Livvy acting normally… you were right. She acts normal until she’s been here for a long period of time.”

“How does she change?”

“I first noticed it when you had swallowed the demon blood and were sick. I called her to me, and she stayed with me while you were recovering. The longer she stayed… the darker she became. I thought she was just being moody but… She scared me. I can’t explain it exactly but she wasn’t my Livvy.”

Kit wanted to wipe the sadness off of Ty’s face. “What do you think that means?”

“I don’t know,” Ty said. “Sometimes it only takes a few hours for her to become dark, sometimes a day or two. That didn't happen a year ago. But the longer she’s been a ghost…   


“The darker she’s become when she’s on this Earth,” Kit finished.

“I’m trying to figure it out… I was reading a book on necromancy last night,” Ty said and Kit remembered seeing a book title he couldn’t make out on Ty’s bed the night before. “And then earlier today I asked some questions to Magnus and Jaime… but neither of them seem to know anything. Not about necromantic behavior, anyway.”

“Ty,” Kit began. “We’ll figure this out.”

Ty nodded, but he didn’t seem reassured. “I want you to see what happens to her. So you’ll understand.”

“Can you call her here right now?” Kit asked.

“I can,” Ty replied. “We just can’t alert anyone to her presence.”

“Got it.”

Kit watched Ty close his eyes, the faint breeze ruffling his dark hair. Kit wondered what it must have felt like… reaching across some invisible void to find a lost sibling. To call out to someone across whatever veil separated them.

Only a minute later, Livvy became visible in front of the two of them. It happened quickly, like film pierces attaching to make a transpicuous figure resembling Ty’s twin.

“Ty-Ty, Kit!” Livvy greeted with her familiar sweet tone. Kit couldn’t help but feel slight hesitation after what Ty had informed him about Livvy, but he quickly smothered it away and returned her greeting with a witty smile.

“Livvy,” Ty responded affectionately.

Livvy’s eyes lit up at her brother’s voice before they resumed taking in their surroundings; the water, the steady rock of the boat, the sunbeams filtering from the sky.

“Oh, how lovely!” She smiled. “I love the ocean!”

Kit couldn’t help but smile as he watched Livvy dip her unsolid hand over the side of the ship, seeing the small droplets of water pass through her fingertips. “If you wanted to, could you go underneath the water?”

“I think so,” Livvy said. “Although I’ve never tried it.”

Ty turned to Kit, he seemed happier with his sister’s company. “You with your ghost questions.”

“I only asked one question,” Kit smiled. He couldn’t not smile around Ty. Not now when he was looking happier than he had all week, with the sun contrasting his hair, and the water shining behind him.

Ty smiled back, his eyes not quite meeting Kit’s blue ones. “You were asking about Livvy flying the other day.”

“Flying?” Livvy chimed in. “You mean floating?”

“Aren’t those the same thing?” Kit asked, joining Livvy by looking out over the ocean. “Ghosts can fly  _ and  _ float.”

“I guess,” Livvy shrugged. “Ty?”

“Hm..?” Ty replied. His eyes were now closed, like he found it more enjoyable to  _ feel _ the scenery than to see it.

Livvy laughed, dropping the subject. “How are you, Kit?”

“I’m…” Kit struggled to find the right word. “Surviving?”

“That’s detailed.” Livvy’s brown hair swirled around her, blowing in the non-existent wind of her own. “How is everyone?”

“Julian and Emma are here with us, Jaime too. Dru, Tavvy, Mark, and Cristina are back at the Institute with Helen and Aline. And Ty,” Kit pointed to the dark-haired boy. “Is right there.”

Ty opened his eyes, puzzled. “What?”

“Nothing,” Kit mumbled. “I was just telling Livvy where everyone was.”

The sunlight was burning Kit’s shoulders, soaking right through the fabric of his shirt. Hesitantly, he moved into the shade, standing next to Ty.

“Whose boat is this?” Livvy asked.

“Two Shadowhunters,” Ty answered. “Luther and Zale.”

“Both of them are-” Kit began but Ty silenced him with a look.

Ty glanced at Livvy. “Tonight we’re planning to trap a sea demon. They’ve offered to help us.”

“How long have you been sailing?” Livvy wondered aloud. She had her back turned to the two of them, looking down into the waves. “Time feels different in the other place, stretched out. It’s hard to tell until I get back here.”

“Today’s the second day,” Kit replied. “We got here sometime early yesterday. And hopefully, we’ll be going back tonight.”

“If everything goes to plan,” Ty added. “Once we trap the demon, Magnus is going to portal us and the demon back to the Institute.”

Kit turned to Ty. “Are we going to send a fire message before we get there? It might be a little sudden if we turn up without warning in the foyer with the six of us and an unconscious sea demon.”

Ty nodded. “They need to be ready to cage the demon. Using the same material as we used to create the bars and chains. We don’t know how long it will stay unconscious for.”

“Noted.”

Kit raised his head, just slightly, to take in Ty’s side profile. It wasn’t often that he allowed himself too, but then recently, these days, there was hardly a time when he didn’t find himself wanting to look at Ty. It was like he was an addict, and Ty was the source of his addiction. He could look at him for hours and hours and not get tired.

Ty straightened, moving his gaze from Livvy to Kit. “What?”

“What?” Kit sheepishly looked away, blushing.

Ty looked surprised, surveying Kit under heavy eyelashes in a way that made Kit want to look away.

“Demons,” Livvy said, her voice dark. “Sea demons. They’re headed toward the boat.”

Her voice was sudden, drawing Kit out of whatever trance Ty had put him under.

Kit felt like someone had poured ice water over him. “What? But we weren’t supposed to pour the mixture in the water until sunset.”

“Something else is attracting them to the boat then,” Ty replied. “Livvy, how far away are they?”

“Close,” was all she responded with. She turned to the two of them, looking fearful.

Kit sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Ty, you defend the back of the boat. I think Julian said there were weapons hidden all around the boat, so it should be easy to find something. I’ll go warn the others.”

Ty nodded, already shifting into his Shadowhunter stance.

Kit turned, running toward the front of the ship. When he rounded the corner, he was relieved to see everyone was hovering in the same area.

“Demons are coming,” Kit quickly said. “Ty and I saw them from the back of the boat. They’ll be here any minute.”

“But what about the mixture?” Zale asked. “We didn’t use it…”

Magnus straightened. “No time to ask questions. We have to get into places.”

A bolt of energy seemed to come over the entire group as they all shifted to action. Everything was fast-paced, grabbing weaponry from hidden places under benches, near the railing. Emma snatched Cortana and ran to the backside of the boat where she and Ty would defend the rear. The rest of the boat’s inhabitants spaced themselves around the boat, all holding a weapon. The only exception was Magnus, who was hovering by Kit, electricity crackling between his palms.

The crew had decided that Kit, given his weaponless encounter with a sea demon, would trap the demon, while the rest of them destroyed the other ones. Magnus was prepared to open a portal as soon as the demon rendered unconscious. Julian had sent a fire message to the Institute, alerting them of their planned arrival.

“You know what to do?” Magnus asked, his eyes were scaling the front of the ship, watching for the first of the demons.

“Wrap it in chains first, right?” Kit asked. “Then press the bars into it until it knocks out?”

“Not quite as simple as you make it sound,” Magnus grinned. “But yes.”

“Great,” Kit gripped his seraph blade in his hands. He wasn’t planning on using it, but as a last resort, it would be helpful in case a demon surprised him. “So, how are the kids?”

“Rafe and Max?” Magnus questioned, surprised.

Kit nodded. “Yeah. Might as well make small talk while we-”

He was cut off by the first sea demon, clawing its way up the side of the boat. It was larger than any of the ones he had seen previously, probably from the depth of the water. Kit caught himself trying to map out exactly what he could do in order to wrap the chains around it’s tentacles. Its limbs were moving rapidly, slithering around the dock like snakes.

Kit grabbed at the chains at his feet, glancing to his left to see Magnus fighting off a set of demons, leaving space for Kit to trap one. Behind him, he could hear the others fighting off more of the creatures.

Gritting his teeth, he started toward the sea demon, winding the chain in his hands. He lunged at the nearest tentacle sliding along the floor, jumping hard enough that his body splayed the moving attachment to the ground. It took the majority of his strength to keep the tentacle down, but nonetheless, Kit managed to wrap one of the single chains around the tentacle.

He jumped to his knees, spinning around to see multiple other tentacles launching toward him. He ducked at the first one, but apparently not low enough because it knocked into his head and slammed him to the ground. While he was occupied with trying to lift himself to his feet, another tentacle looped around his ankle and dragged him across the floor, toward the demon’s mouth.

Kit grabbed at another stray chain laying on the ground and blindly swung it behind him. It managed to hit solid flesh, providing enough hesitation for Kit to jump to his feet and quickly wrap a chain around another tentacle, pinning the demon to the railing’s edge.

Trusting enough in his own abilities, Kit dropped the seraph blade he had been holding and snatched two chains off the ground. He hopped over a tentacle moving across the ground and attempted to tie another chain around a tentacle overhead. Kit missed, and the chain came swooping down, hitting him in the cheek.

“Shit,” Kit breathed. Wincing, he ran a hand against his burning cheek, where there was no doubt a red welt straying horizontally from the edge of his eye to his temple.

With newfound anger, Kit launched at two tentacles at once, wrestling one to the ground while he tied the other one with a chain. Once he had succeeded, he flipped himself over to work on restraining the tentacle with another chain.

Kit bounced to his feet when he was done, enjoying the rush of adrenaline surging through his system. His upper cheek still stung, but it was blocked out from the energy coursing in his veins.

“Magnus!” Kit called. “Think I can start using the bars?”

The warlock, who was busy with a demon of his own, risked a glance over and nodded. There were still plenty of tentacles unrestrained, but Kit thought he could manage to knock the demon out before they caused any trouble.

Kit searched the ground for the bars, smiling when he found them. They were heavier than he imagined, but still able to lift. Kit pulled the bars to where the demon was held, avoiding any stray tentacles, and lowered the bars onto the demon’s dark flesh.

He kicked his seraph blade toward him once the bars were pressed against the sea demon, and waited for the sleep to kick in for the creature. Kit settled himself in an unreachable area of the demon, close enough to be in reach of it’s chained limbs but far enough as to not be in danger of any moveable part of the monster.

Breathing heavily, Kit took in the scene around him. He watched Magnus face off multiple sea demons with his magic, and further behind him, watched Zale and Jaime work together to take down multiple creatures. Emma, Julian, Luther, and Ty were concealed from his vision, but he could hear the sound of familiar battle drifting from further away.

Kit couldn’t help but wonder why the demons suddenly attacked. Was it possible it was a coincidence? Or did Luther or Zale spill the mixture in the water and lie about it?

Ty was probably already coming up with conclusions in his mind, with the way his brain worked.

Kit decided he didn’t think there was a coincidence. There was something unusual going on with  _ all  _ of this. With sea demons randomly attacking, leaving their groups, going to shallow waters, even moving to the  _ city _ .

There had to be a reason, that’s what Ty always said. Kit cursed himself. He would have to analyze theories with Ty later. Ty always knew where to look and how to think. Now they would have to draw up ideas for the investigation while they also tried to figure out Livvy’s strange behavioral patterns and-

Wait.

_ Livvy. _

Kit’s mind was suddenly a whirlwind of thought, with memories flashing through his head at a rapid pace.

Livvy had visited Ty the night before the first sea demon attack. And then, while Kit had been sick, Ty had told him that Livvy had been staying with him while he was recovering. Which was  _ also  _ when more unusual attacks had been happening. Then the night in downtown Los Angeles, when the sea demons had attacked, Livvy had been there too. And then  _ today,  _ when the sea demons had shown up as soon as Ty called Livvy to him.

Was it possible… It was Livvy? Livvy was the source of the attacks?

Helen had said it was a necromantic subject and that-

The sea demon slumped, it’s body relaxing against the boat.

Kit swallowed, he would think about that later. If it was Livvy then… 

“It’s unconscious!” Kit yelled to Magnus.

“Tell the others!” Magnus called. “I’ll conjure a portal.”

Kit nodded, rushing around the boat, after grabbing a seraph blade. He cut through any sea demon he faced, rounding the boat and alerting everyone. Livvy had disappeared, no longer at Ty’s side. Kit wasn’t sure if he felt relief or confusion. Probably a mix of both. He would have to think about his theory later.

Everyone arrived at the front of the boat after a few minutes. It seemed that the sea demons had stopped attacking, or they had run out of numbers. Zale and Luther were currently dragging up suitcases from underneath the boar, hauling them toward the portal. Jaime and Emma were circling the boat, in case of any other attacks.

Ty stood close to Kit, his hands were shaking, breaking the area around him with their movement. Kit knew that Ty hadn’t been wearing his headphones when the demons had attacked, and he had no doubt the loudness of the battle had shaken Ty up.

Kit approached him, turning him around slowly. “Ty. Do you want me to get anything for you? I can go get your headphones if you want.”

“Thank you, but I’m fine,” Ty said. Ty’s eyes were closed, Kit imagined he was trying to block out the rush of noise from his system.

“Okay,” Kit answered.

Ty’s eyes opened at that single word, flicking directly to Kit’s cheek. “Kit, your cheek! Are you-”

“It’s fine,” Kit quickly said. “It stings but-”

Ty reached his shaking hand up to trace the bruise on Kit’s face. “It’s red. Kit, it made an  _ indent  _ in your skin. Do you want me to draw you an  _ iratze _ ?”

Kit moved back from Ty’s touch, shivering at the contact. “No. Like I said, it’s bearable. And besides…” He grinned. “I’ll have a scar to prove I was here.”

“That’s not a scar,” Ty said. “That’s a wound.”

“Same difference,” Kit smiled.

Ty opened his mouth to object but Magnus had already interrupted them. The warlock called out, “It’s time!”

Julian was already thanking Luther and Zale for their help. Jaime and Emma returned to the front deck, picking up their suitcases. Kit started over to the pile with Ty to pick up his own bag and turned to where everyone was saying their goodbyes.

Kit gave Luther a shaky smile and waved a weak hand at Zale. He headed toward the portal to where Magnus was standing.

“Seasickness?” Magnus asked. “You look ready to get out of here.”

“Maybe,” Kit agreed. “I love the ocean, but I’m ready to be back on the ground.”

“It’s been two days,” Jaime laughed. “Hardly anytime at all.”

“It feels like forever,” Kit smirked. He turned to Magnus. “How are you planning to get the demon through the portal?”

“Levitation,” Magnus answered smugly. “I’ll do it after the rest of you head through. They should be waiting for us on the other side.”

Kit turned to watch Ty thank Luther and then say goodbye to Zale. Kit felt a pang of jealousy wash through him when Zale leaned towards Ty, to… kiss him on the cheek? Kit looked away. Wasn’t he the one who told Ty he could flirt with whomever and it was no big deal? 

But it  _ was  _ a big deal. Or at least, to him it was.

Kit chanced another look over and was surprised to see an embarrassed looking Zale and a helpless looking Ty. Ty was explaining something and Zale was nodding, his cheeks flushed. Ty gave Zale a warm smile and headed to stand by Kit.

“Ready to go home?” Ty asked.

Kit nodded. “Ready.”

And he  _ was  _ ready. No more strangers kissing Ty’s cheek and being in an unknown place with two strangers.

Home.

Kit was the first to step through the portal, not looking back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I hope you all have a fantastic weekend and (I say this every single time but it SHOULD be said) thank you for reading, commenting, and liking!


	10. Tell Me

Kit walked directly into the Los Angeles Institute’s foyer, stepping into the crowded space.

His eyes quickly adjusted to the new lighting, taking in his surroundings. Cristina and Mark were standing by the stone walls talking in hushed voices. Tavvy and Dru were lounging on the furniture around the room, each sipping orange juice.

Nearest to him, was a gigantic cage, one that had  _ not  _ been there two days ago. Helen and Aline were standing at the sides of the spiked bars, Kit expected they were waiting for Magnus to levitate the demon through the portal, then trap it in the contaminate before it awoke.

“Hey,” Kit greeted casually.

From the opposite corner of the room, Dru’s head shot up, a grin dawning on her face. “Kit! You’re back!”

The younger girl ran across the room and looped her arms around Kit’s middle. Kit hugged her back, smiling into her brown hair.

Dru pulled away from him, her blue-green eyes moving to the welt on his cheek. “You have a wound on your-”

“I know,” Kit replied, still smiling. He stopped Dru’s hand from grabbing at her steel, “No  _ iratze.  _ Believe it or not, I put it there myself.”

“Oh, I believe it,” Dru relaxed despite her joke. “You’re not as good a Shadowhunter as everyone thinks.”

Kit laughed. “You’re going to regret saying that.”

Dru sent him an affectionate glance before she turned and greeted Jaime, who was the next to exit the portal. Behind her, Aline and Helen had started toward Kit, each of them looking particularly cheerful.

“How was the boat?” Helen asked sweetly.

“It was great! We had a few minor inconveniences on the way but…” He trailed off, not wanting to talk about Magnus’ ‘sinking the boat’ incident. “I’ve never been out that far in the ocean before.”

“I’ve always loved the water,” Helen said. “Aside from what lives in it, it’s very peaceful.”

Aline smiled at her wife, before looking expectantly at Kit. “Speaking of what lives in the ocean… I assume you caught the demon?”

Kit nodded, his blonde hair falling into his face. “Yeah, hopefully you can get it in the cage before it wakes up.”

Mark and Cristina had paused their conversation and were walking toward the small group. Cristina waved at Emma, the third person to walk through the portal, as she stepped into the Institute.

Aline was glancing at the new arrivals, her dark eyes scanning the floor at their feet. “You all should bring your bags up to your rooms. I don’t want it to be too crowded in here when Magnus brings the demon through.”

Jaime laughed. “Is that your way of saying we take up too much space?”

“That’s  _ exactly  _ what I’m saying,” Aline replied warmly.

Kit was surprised when he saw Tavvy leap off the couch he had been sitting on and head toward him. The smaller boy gave him a toothy grin, “Kit, can I come upstairs with you when you put your bags away? I have to look for something.”

“In my room?”

“Yep,” Tavvy said. “Is that a yes?”

Kit swung his bag over his shoulder, starting toward the stairway. “Sure. What are you looking for?”

Tavvy followed on his heels. “I can’t tell you.”

“If you steal anything from my room Octavian…”

“I won’t! I promise. It’s not anything bad…”

Kit reached out and ruffled the boy's hair. “I’m just kidding. You can take whatever you want.”

“So if I  _ happen  _ to find some money I can-”

“Let’s not go that far.”

Tavvy frowned but didn’t linger on the subject too long. He bounded up the stairs, disappearing into the hallway before Kit had even reached the fourth step. It wasn’t often that Tavvy talked to Kit… The younger boy was usually off watching Julian paint or messing with Mark or looking for animals with Ty. But the unusual times when he clung himself to Kit, it always made him feel warm.

“Tavvy’s happy to have you back.”

Kit turned at Ty’s voice. The dark-haired boy was walking up the stairs behind Kit, a suitcase in his left arm. He had a calm expression painted on his face, most likely from being home after being away for two days. Kit knew Ty loved to have a specific schedule… and that he got tense when it was broken. Although he didn’t show it when they were on the boat, Kit could sense Ty’s uneasiness with an unfamiliar place.

Kit smiled at Ty. “I think he’s happy to have  _ everyone  _ back.”

Ty’s grey eyes scraped over him for hardly a second before they returned to focusing on the steps. “It’s earlier here than it was on the boat. The time difference isn’t that bizarre and it hardly matters because we weren’t gone that long but I wanted you to know in case… in case your sleeping schedule is a bit off…”

Ty stopped talking, seeming to have confused himself with his words. Ty had a specific way of thinking, focusing on facts and order, and Kit knew that sometimes Ty liked to verbalize his thoughts and direct them to others. Kit felt the sudden urge to touch Ty’s shoulder, just to show that he understood… but he refrained from doing so.

Lost in the maze of his own mind, Kit suddenly remembered something. “Ty, after you put away your stuff could you meet me in the library? I have a theory about the investigation and you’re the only one I can talk to about it.”   


“I need to see Magnus first before he leaves but I’ll meet you after,” Ty answered. They had both reached the top of the stairs, and they started down the next hallway, on a course to both of their rooms.

“What do you need Magnus for?”

“There’s something he can help me with. Something I need to…” Ty trailed off, not looking at Kit. “It’s nothing. I mean, yes, it’s something, but it’s about  _ me  _ and not the investigation or anything so-”

“Ty,” Kit laughed. “I understand.”

Ty seemed relieved to be interrupted. He ducked into his own room as soon as it came into his field of vision, mumbling something under his breath as he did so.

Kit stared after him, continuing to walk until he abruptly ran into the open door of his own bedroom. Kit cursed under his breath, grimacing at the shot of pain that ran through him.

It was like the Angel was mocking his feelings for Ty. Brushing off the dull ache, he walked into his own room, his bag suddenly feeling heavy in his grip.

The familiarity of the space washed over him like the calming scent of a candle. Kit dropped his bag on his bed and swept his gaze around the room for Tavvy. He found the smaller boy searching frantically through Kit’s closet.

“Tav, if you’re looking for money in there you’re not going to find it,” Kit teased. He began unpacking his suitcase, pulling clothes and objects out and then restoring them in areas around the room.

Tavvy continued his search, burying his head further in the contents of the closet. “Not  _ money.  _ I’m making something and I just needed to find-”

“Clothes? Boxes? Markers? You know if you need anything art related then you can always ask-”

“Got it!” Tavvy interrupted. He had a small object concealed in his right palm, something Kit couldn’t see.

Kit rose an eyebrow. “What is it?”

“You’ll find out later,” Tavvy said. “Want to come downstairs and watch them take samples of the demon with me?”

“Sure,” Kit said. He followed Tavvy to the doorframe. It made him feel oddly excited to have the younger boy's attention on him. It made him feel like an older brother.

“My room first,” Tavvy took him by the wrist, pulling him the opposite direction of the stairwell. He waggled his eyebrows mischievously. “I have to put the thing from your room back.”

“Are you ever going to give it back?” Kit asked. He was slightly interested in what Tavvy had taken, but he wasn’t concerned.

They entered Tavvy’s room and Tavvy quickly ran over to his bed and planted the mysterious object under his pillow. Smiling, he answered Kit, “Maybe.”

Kit shook his head shallowly as they started out of the room. “So what has everyone been up to while we’ve been gone?”

“Cristina and ‘Silla have been patrolling and everyone else has been planning and waiting, mostly.”

“What about you? Have you been training? Going swimming?”

“I trained yesterday,” Tavvy said. “Oh! Ty told me about some woodpeckers that are in the area so I’ve been bird watching!”

Kit smiled fondly. “I don’t think I’d have enough patience to do that.”

“I didn’t either,” Tavvy admitted, starting down the staircase. “But then Ty did it with me and it was fun. Ty makes everything fun.”

Kit saw the light in Tavvy’s eyes as he talked about his older brother and felt an unknown jolt go through him. He wasn’t sure if it was the reminder that he didn’t have anyone that would look at him like that- with admiration- or if it was just the mention of Ty in general. Maybe both.

“Ty  _ does _ make everything fun,” Kit whispered, so softly he wasn’t sure if Tavvy had heard him.

Tavvy’s head perked up. “You make Ty smile.”

The phrase was so straight-forward and sudden that Kit paused in his steps, looking down dumbly at the youngest Blackthorn.

“Huh?”

“I miss Livvy. We  _ all  _ miss Livvy. But Ty, I think, misses her most. I know I’m younger than you all but I didn’t think…” Tavvy trailed off, seeming to map out his next words. “I didn’t think it would be easy on Ty, him more than anyone. But he still smiles. And he’s happy. And I think a huge part of that is because of you.”

Kit wasn’t sure what to say. It was the most Tavvy had ever said to Kit in one sitting, and he was surprised at the mature tone Tavvy used when he spoke of it all.

Tavvy didn’t wait for Kit to say anything. “I think… I think it makes him upset. When you leave.”

“Leave?” Kit asked, dumbfounded. They were no longer walking. Kit was looking down at Tavvy, trying to absorb all the observations that the smaller boy was making.

“When you go out,” Tavvy explained. “I don’t know why. He just gets quiet. I think he’s afraid that maybe you won’t come back.”

“I don’t think he thinks that. It’s been a long time since I’ve tried to run away and-”

“No, not run away,” Tavvy said. “That you  _ won’t _ come back. That you’ll be like Livvy.”

“I-” Kit lost his voice. Their earlier conversation had turned dark. Tavvy was looking at him grimly, his blue-green eyes reflecting Kit’s own expression back at him.

Tavvy turned, descending down the stairs. “I just thought you should know. I don’t like seeing Ty sad.”

_ Me either. _

Kit followed Tavvy until the cage in the middle of the foyer was visible. Kit heard Tavvy’s audible gasp beside him as they each stared at the unconscious sea demon within the barred cage. It appeared Magnus had been able to get the creature  _ mostly  _ in the cage, given that some of the demon’s tentacles were curling between the bars, unable to be contained.

Helen and Jaime were kneeling beside the caged monster, fiddling with needles and vials. Magnus was nowhere in sight, Kit suspected he was with Ty, doing whatever Ty had not wanted to tell Kit about earlier. Aline was quietly talking to Dru in the corner of the room and Mark, once again, had his clipboard settled in his palms.

Kit started toward the group, pushing aside his conversation with Tavvy, settled his blue eyes on Mark. “What are you doing with that now? Taking demon notes?”

Mark held the paper up, smirking. “It’s a checklist. See? I just checked off ‘demon arrival’.”

“What’s next?” Kit peered over Mark’s shoulder, attempting to read the scribbled handwriting.

Helen answered before Mark could. “We have to draw samples from it. We’re trying to get blood from multiple areas on its body.”

Mark scanned the steps on his checklist. “Then, we have to run some tests. And then we should get some information as to what is drawing the demons out of the water.”

Jaime looked up from his space on the ground. “It’s not as easy as it sounds. I can hardly stick this needle into its skin. This takes being ‘tough-skinned’ to a whole new level.”

“It smells gross,” Tavvy said. He rounded the cage, his nose wrinkled. “Like dead fish.”

“It  _ is  _ a demon,” Kit pointed out. “A  _ sea _ demon no less. It probably eats dead fish.”

Mark looked up, puzzled. “I eat dragon fruit and I don’t smell like dragon fruit.”

Jaime facepalmed. “Have you never heard the phrase, ‘you are what you eat’?”

Mark’s jaw dropped. “So I  _ am  _ dragon fruit?”

“Are you being ridiculous on purpose?” Kit laughed. “You probably don’t even know what dragon fruit is?”

“I do  _ too  _ know what it is!”

Out of all people, it was Tavvy who stopped their mindless bickering. He rose his voice, “We are supposed to be focusing on the  _ demon. _ ”

Aline and Dru had stopped their conversation and had walked over to the cage, both muffling smiles. Aline was the one who spoke, her voice bold, “Thank you Tavvy. Mark, Kit, he’s right. Now if you have somewhere else you’d like to be… Then you can either go there or stay here, and stay  _ silent. _ ”

Mark looked stunned. “But-”

Aline quirked an eyebrow at him. Kit had always associated her with a sense of political power, there was always a harbored sternness within her no matter how sweet she was to her family.

“I was heading to the library anyway,” Kit said.

Dru beamed from where she was standing beside Aline. “I’ll come! I’ve been standing in this room for centuries.”

Jaime gave the two of them a half-hearted wave as they left, before returning to poking the demon. Helen resumed talking to both Aline and Mark. Tavvy ran to one of the main couches settled around the room and watched the situation at hand.

As soon as they were out of earshot, Dru turned to Kit, her face flooded with excitement. “So where are we  _ really  _ going?”

“Uh, the library?”

Dru frowned. “If this is another attempt at keeping me out of whatever you’re  _ actually  _ doing then you should know that I am not going to tolerate it.”

“No,” Kit quickly said, slightly laughing. “I swear I’m just going to the library. Ty said he’d meet me here after he was done talking to Magnus.”

“Oh, I get it,” Dru beamed. “Sexy times in the library! It’s about time!”

Kit choked on air. “Dru,  _ no. _ ”

She gave him a slow, suggestive look. “Okay. But in the future if you two do-”

_ “Dru.” _

“What? I’m just saying what you’re thinking.”

“We are  _ not  _ talking about this.”

“Fine,” Dru sighed, defeated. “I’ll leave you in there alone then. I really don’t want to be third wheeling right now when I could be watching horror movies or training or-”

“You should come in,” Kit quickly said. “I could use the company. Besides, Ty said he had to do something first so it might be a while.”

Dru was easily convinced. “Okay, I guess. But only because you’ve been gone a day and we need to catch up.”

Kit batted his eyelashes dramatically. “Did you miss me?”

She elbowed him. “Of course I did. What even  _ is _ the Institute without your constant whining and sarcasticness.”

“I don’t whine,” Kit mumbled. He pushed open the library doors, the familiar scent of paper and ink and dust washing over him.

Dru headed toward the farthest table, flinging herself on top of it and swinging her legs. “You do, actually. Anyway, I really think you should let me put an  _ iratze  _ on that mark on your cheek. It’s only going to get worse before it heals.”

“I told you already, no.”

“Suit yourself,” Dru said. She pushed herself off the table. “Ty’s not going to want you with a bruise the size of the Pacific on your face.”

Kit laughed despite himself. “He doesn’t want me anyway.”

Dru looked sad at his words. She was looking at him pitifully, her eyes scanning him up and down. Finally, she softly said, “I was kidding, I’m sorry. It’s not about looks at all, not even a little bit. And Kit… you need to stop being so cruel to yourself. Really, it doesn’t do you any good to keep saying shitty things about yourself.”

Kit looked at the ground. Silence stretched between the two of them. 

Kit broke it by changing the subject. “Could you find some maps? I’m going to go and pull that chalkboard over here.”

Dru solemnly shook her head, still looking at him with sympathy.

The two spent the next hour digging multiple maps of Los Angeles from hidden areas in the bookshelves as well as scouring for pieces of chalk. Dru didn’t ask what he needed everything for, and he was grateful for her lack of questions. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Dru, it was that his theory was so terrible, an idea that he knew would bring pain to Ty, and that he didn’t want to draw anyone into it until it was proven correct. Until then, it would stay in the drafts of his mind.

Kit had been looking at the clock for the past twenty minutes, an act that he knew didn’t go unnoticed by Dru, who was sitting beside him at one of the library’s tables. They were both seated facing toward the doorway, waiting for Ty.

Dru turned to him once the clock had moved past yet another half-hour mark. “What did he say he was doing with Magnus again?”

“He didn’t,” Kit responded. “He said he’d meet me here afterward but he didn’t say how long he would take.”

“Want me to go make us some sandwiches while we wait?” Dru asked.

“Sandwiches? Are you serious?”

“I don’t know, ” Dru said, exasperated. “I’m not hungry but you might be, with the time difference and all? It would pass time…”

“Dru,” Kit laughed. “I don’t need sympathy sandwiches.”

“They wouldn’t be  _ sympathy _ sandwiches,” Dru corrected. “They would be  _ comfort _ sandwiches.”

Kit leaned his head against her shoulder, a brotherly gesture. “Thank you. But if I wanted to make a sandwich, I think I could make one myself.”

“I don’t know,” Dru sarcastically replied. “I’ve seen your cooking skills and-”

“My cooking skills are  _ great. _ ”

Dru smiled. “I know. I was kidding.”

Kit opened his mouth to give a sarcastic reply but he was stopped when, to his relief, Ty walked through the library’s doors, his head bowed. He had showered it seemed, his dark hair was curling at the ends from humidity, and he had changed out of what he had been wearing earlier that day; now he was wearing all black, the same color as his hair.

“Ty,” Dru breathed.

Kit raised his voice to make sure it floated across the room. “Did you get what you needed from Magnus?”

It might have been his imagination, but Kit could have sworn Ty paused mid-step, his hands twitching at his sides. But the sudden movement was gone as quickly as it had come and Ty just nodded in response, his eyes still glued to the floor.

Dru flicked her gaze to Kit. “So I’m guessing we don’t need those sandwiches anymore?”

Kit grinned skeptically. “I don’t think we  _ ever  _ needed them.”

Ty joined them at the table and Kit couldn’t help but notice that he sat as far away from Kit as he could possibly get. Kit had to crane his head just to look at him. Ty looked pale in the library’s dim light, paler than usual, and his hands were restlessly twisting in the fabric of his own sweatshirt.

“So,” Ty quietly said.

Kit glanced sideways at Dru, trying to speak to her with his eyes. She took the hint, mumbling an incoherent excuse under her breath before she left the library.

Kit waited until the library’s door had closed before he turned to Ty. “On the boat the other day, I had a thought. It’s really far-fetched and I know how crazy it sounds and I don’t want to believe it either but… I think it’s something that we have to at least consider for a reason.”

Kit had expected Ty to ask a question or to say  _ something  _ but he stayed silent, not looking up from the table.

“Anyway,” Kit continued. “I was thinking about what Helen was saying about necromancy… and how maybe that had an effect on the sea demons. Then I got to thinking about the past few weeks and what’s been happening…”

Again, he paused, waiting for Ty to say something, whether it was to finish his thoughts or start launching questions at Kit, but he didn’t. He remained staring at the table like it was the most interesting thing in the room.

Kit took a deep breath, resuming. “Dru and I found the maps that we had been using right after I swallowed the demon blood… and we updated them. We finished marking  _ all  _ of the unusual sea demon attacks and if you can remember-”

Kit paused, his heart rate seeming to be the only noise in the room. He was looking at Ty, trying to read his expression that was hidden beneath his dark hair and sloped shoulders. 

Something was wrong.

“Ty?” Kit asked softly, as delicate as he imagined talking to a butterfly would be. “What is it?”

Ty took a sharp breath, evidence that he had heard Kit’s question, but he remained silent. Kit tried to imagine what was going through his head but he couldn’t. He was as confused as ever.

“Ty,” Kit repeated. “What’s wrong?”

Abruptly, Ty straightened, his hands were tangled in his sweatshirt and his eyes were closed. “Nothing. It’s nothing.”

“It’s something,” Kit said. “I can tell.”

Kit shifted closer to Ty, he moved to the space where Dru had sat, so he was directly across from Ty. He set his hand down on the table, an invitation for comfort.

However, instead of reaching across the space between them, like Kit had hoped he would, Ty jerked in his seat, pushing himself slightly back from the table.

Kit, shocked, pulled his hand back until it fell into his own lap, circling it with his other to make a small prison of his own.

“You can talk to me,” Kit began. “If anything’s ever wrong… you can  _ always _ talk to me.”

Ty didn’t seem to be listening. “Like I said, there’s nothing to talk about. You never finished what you were saying before.”

Kit paused. Although Ty wasn’t admitting it, something  _ was  _ wrong and if he didn’t want to talk about it, then Kit wouldn’t know how to help. He didn’t know if now was a good time to tell Ty his theory, considering Ty was already upset, but if Kit was right, then knowing sooner than later could save multiple lives.

_ But,  _ Kit thought.  _ It will hurt Ty if I tell him now. _

“I don’t think now’s such a good time-”

“Tell me,” Ty said. He finally looked up at him, his grey eyes moving violently across Kit.

Kit flinched at the tone of his voice. It was unlike anything he had ever heard Ty say. The two words came out soft, but with a hidden anger behind them, like a prisoner behind jail bars.

“Ty-”

“I can tell it’s something I won’t like to hear,” Ty said. “But I can handle it. I’m not glass, Kit, I won’t break.”

Kit swallowed. “I know.”

Ty had let his hands escape from where they were gripping his shirt and they were now fluttering around him. “Tell me.”

The way he said the words the second time didn’t sound angry, but direct. Kit suddenly felt as though there were a double meaning behind what Ty was saying but he couldn’t decipher it.

“I think it’s Livvy,” Kit said. “I think it’s because we brought her back. If you look at the places where the demons attacked and the time that they attacked they are constantly where Livvy was in her ghost form.”

Ty had turned a pale shade of white.

Kit plowed on, desperate to get everything out. “It didn’t start off as powerful… Livvy visited us the night before I got attacked and that’s when the demons started coming up from the water. Then you told me that while I was recovering you had Livvy here and that’s when the rest of the beach attacks started.”

“But-” Ty stuttered. “But those could be coincidences. They weren’t even in the same  _ location  _ as where Livvy was.”

“That’s what I’m saying; as time progresses it only gets more drastic. It might have something to do with the strange behavior you keep talking about. Over time, it occurs. Similarly, it starts small, the demons don’t come directly  _ to  _ her. But do you remember when we were downtown? Livvy was there. And then on the boat…”

“That doesn’t prove anything,” Ty said. “That hardly proves anything at all.”

“I know,” Kit replied. “It was just an idea. I don’t want to believe it either but I think we should test it and-”

“And what?” Ty said, on the brink of yelling. “What then? What if you’re right?”

“I… I don’t know,” Kit admitted. “I wouldn’t be saying this if I didn’t think it could be a possibility.”

Ty had fallen into silence. He had returned to looking down.

Kit took a deep breath. “I just want the truth, Ty.”

Ty snapped his head up and Kit knew without hesitation that there was now anger burning in his eyes. “Like  _ you  _ of all people care about the truth.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You know  _ exactly  _ what I mean,” Ty growled. “Don’t act like you don’t.”

“Ty, I don’t-”

Ty held up his hands in surrender, like everything was suddenly too much for him. “I don’t want to fight.”

“But you’re mad and-”

“Yes, I’m mad! You just said I was the reason all of this is happening.”

“I said it was  _ both of us, _ ” Kit glowered. “But that’s not it. You were mad before I said anything about that.”

“Maybe,” Ty said. His voice had softened, lowering back to its normal volume. “It doesn’t matter.”

“It clearly does.”

Now, Ty sent him an annoyed scowl, and Kit couldn’t blame him, he was annoyed with himself too. Kit was confused and upset and slightly angry that he had no idea what was going on with Ty and he couldn’t do anything to help.

After a beat of silence, Ty closed his eyes, like it was easier to talk without seeing Kit in front of him. “We can test your theory tonight. On the beach. I’ll summon Livvy and we’ll see if anything happens.”

“Ty-”

Ty brushed him off with an arm, he stood from his chair. “It’s fine. I need to think.”

Kit jumped up from his own seat, desperate not to leave this room without having resolved the conflict at hand. “Ty, we have to talk about this. I don’t know what-”

Ty moved quickly towards the door, not even bothering to look over his shoulder as he walked. “Kit, I  _ really  _ need to be alone right now. I’ll see you later, okay?”

“But you’re not-”

Kit never got to finish his sentence because Ty walked out of the library, leaving Kit standing alone in the empty room. Kit was still trying to comprehend what had happened minutes before when the door of the library flung close, shuddering a deafening noise through the entire space.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AH! Tenth chapter. It's become a habit to say this so; thanks for reading, liking, and/or commenting. I was really hungry while I was writing certain parts of this chapter so 'sympathy sandwiches' were born. Anyway, I hope you all have a wonderful day and/or night, next chapter (or chapters???) before the weekend. Also, happy pride month :)


	11. Fireworks

Kit had seen anger before. When he himself got mad, he would cope with it in the worst way; going out and trying to drink the fury into oblivion. Other people would lash out with yells, some with tears of rage, some with violence. A few times he had seen people try to lose themselves in adrenaline; jumping off cliffs, finding themselves in dangerous situations, moving too close to hazardous objects.

Ty was completely silent.

They had started their walk on the beach twenty minutes ago (Kit had spent the majority of the day alone in his room, trying to figure out how to comfort Ty). A heavy fog had overtaken the beach, matching the eerie clouds swallowing the sky. Kit could hardly make out the moon and stars through the canopy of grey, but what little light seeped through the darkness was enough for the two Shadowhunters to see their surroundings.

Kit had tried to start up a conversation with Ty, but it was apparent that the other boy was driven on walking in complete silence. If Kit was a stranger, he could have easily mistaken Ty’s quietness for him simply being lost in thought, but because Kit knew him so well, because he had spent the last three years noticing his actions, his anger was clear as day. His shoulders were curved inward, his hands were clenched, and his eyes were moving rapidly, looking anywhere but Kit.

They were each armed, Kit with a seraph blade and Ty with a set of daggers. Ty had been the one to decide the location they would test Kit’s theory. He said that he wanted to be far away from others, somewhere where mundanes or Shadowhunters alike wouldn’t see them.

Ty was currently leading Kit to a patch of rocks on the beach that met the water. Before they had stopped talking, Ty had said that their destination was an area where he, when he was younger, had gone to look for creatures in the rocks. He claimed it was far enough from other people, a perfect spot for them to see if sea demons would come to them upon Livvy’s arrival.

But Ty had said that almost a half-hour ago, before they had started heading toward the rocks. He had pulled headphones over his ears, an action that clearly said ‘don’t talk to me’. Even now Kit could hear the soft melody of classical music originating from them.

And as much as Kit knew Ty didn’t want to talk to him, he had to at least  _ try.  _ Kit didn’t think it would be healthy for them to test out this theory, without them at least  _ attempting  _ to resolve whatever wall Ty had put between the two of them. If Kit’s idea turned out to be right, he knew he would be the only one able to comfort Ty. But he couldn’t do even that, if he couldn’t figure out what was wrong.

“Ty,” Kit began. “Ty, we have to talk.”

The only indication Ty had heard him through his music was the way his posture slightly straightened. He complied a little bit, angling his head toward Kit in a way that said, ‘talk, I’ll listen’.

“I know what we’re about to do, if it turns out to be right, is going to hurt,” Kit said, struggling to find the correct words. “I don’t know what it’s going to mean or what we’re going to do next… But Ty, we’re the only ones who will know about it. And you have to be able to talk to me. I need to know that you’re going to be okay, I need to be able to  _ talk  _ to you.”

Ty seemed to absorb Kit’s words. “Okay.”

“Okay,” Kit echoed. It wasn’t much, but it was enough for him to feel slightly relieved. “I know that you have different ways of feeling things… And of coping with them. I don’t know what’s wrong… Shit, I’m really bad at this… But, for me at least, it helps to talk.”

Apparently, that wasn’t the right thing to say because Ty returned to staring at the ground. Kit inwardly sighed.

_ How was he supposed to do this? _

“You were my first  _ real  _ friend, Kit.” Ty’s voice surprised him. “I had Livvy and my family, but they never… And then I met you… And I thought… I guess I thought that you’d… That we’d…”

Kit tried to decipher Ty’s phrases. “That we’d what?”

“That we wouldn’t  _ lie  _ to each other,” Ty said. The word ‘lie’ came out bitter and dark.

Kit stopped, his feet rooted to the sand, but Ty continued forward, like he was desperate to get away from the fair-haired boy. Swallowing, Kit started after him, trying to match Ty’s long strides.

“We  _ don’t  _ lie to each other,” Kit said, but even as he did he realized that was a lie itself.

“That’s not true,” Ty retorted, his voice sounding like a stranger. “ _ I  _ don’t lie to you. At least, I don’t  _ deliberately.  _ But  _ you  _ do. I didn’t realize until… I don’t even know what I’m trying to say… But Kit,  _ you  _ lie to me.”

“Ty,” Kit breathed. “I-”

_ But what did he even  _ want _ to say? What lies had Ty found out about? And how much would he ruin everything if he admitted to them? And what a horrible person would it make him to deflect them, to try to move away from them? _

Kit took a deep breath, he stared out into the fog, trying to focus on the sound of his footsteps in the sand. “What lies?”

“Can you tell  _ me? _ ”

Kit fell into silence.

That seemed to be enough for Ty. “Forget I said anything. If you can’t even admit it then…”

“Ty…”

Ty shuddered. “No. I don’t think I even want an explanation. Not if you… Not like this.”

“Not like what?” Kit asked. He didn’t know what he was supposed to say or do. His mind was rushing through all the lies he had… but it was so, so obvious that it had been something recent. Something concerning Ty… which could only be two things…

“We’re here,” Ty responded, not answering Kit’s question.

Kit looked ahead to see the shadow of jagged rocks looming from the mist. As they moved closer, Kit could see the cluster of rocks descended into the ocean’s shallows and continued up the rest of the beach.

Ty was the first to climb the boulders, using his slender muscle to heave himself to the upper ridges of stone. Kit moved after him, moving more awkwardly than Ty had. Regardless, he still joined Ty at the top. From this vantage point, it was easier to see through the mist. The fog seemed to be settling among the ground, so it was fainter upwards.

“What’s the plan?” Kit asked. The uncomfortableness from earlier still hung around them, but just like the fog, it had thinned. Now it was replaced by the readiness for battle.

Ty had already pulled out his stele, beginning to draw runes on himself. “Runes, first. Then, I’ll call Livvy here.”

Kit nodded, inking runes under his sleeve. “How are we planning on attacking?”

“We’re not going to,” Ty declared.

“What do you mean?”

Kit watched Ty pull a small object from within his sweatshirt pocket. He held it up, revealing a small circular object in his palm.

“We’re using this,” Ty said.

Kit moved closer, examining the handheld shape. “What  _ is  _ it?”

“There’s not a specific name for it,” Ty explained. “It functions like a grenade.”

“If we’re using a grenade, then why did we bring weapons?”

“It’s not a grenade,” Ty corrected. Kit couldn’t help but notice that Ty was looking away from him. “I’m not sure how powerful the contraption is. I know it’s less powerful than the average explosion, so, depending on how many demons come, we might need to fight off any that the explosion misses.”

Kit nodded, turning his head to scope out the rock formation. A moment later his eyes settled on a small space where the rocks dipped inward, creating a narrow area big enough for three people. It was about halfway up the beach, far enough away from where the waves crashed against the boulders.

“Do you think we’ll be able to hide there?” Kit asked, gesturing to the area in between the rocks.

Ty scanned the space. “Yes.”

Kit started toward it, making sure to avoid the slim gaps between the rocks. The slight fog was adding difficulty to Kit’s movements, making him unsure of his steps.

When he reached the expanse of empty space, he turned to see Ty following him through the fog. His eyes were glazed, unfocused. Kit assumed he was calling out to Livvy, like Ty was searching for her through the mist.

Kit returned his attention to the space below him, trying to scope out for any sharp rock edges. Upon first glance, he didn’t spot any pointed objects. However, to his dismay, the space wasn’t as wide as he had first thought it to be. He and Ty would have enough room, but have limits on movement.

“Kit, what happened to your cheek?”

Kit turned around at Livvy’s voice, sweet and calm in the uncanny air. The mist seemed to seep through her limbs and create a dark aura around her.

“Livvy,” Kit greeted. He sent a stray glance at Ty, hoping to see if they were supposed to mention Kit’s theory or not, but Ty’s head was bowed. “It was a failed attempt at hitting a demon with a chain. I hit myself instead.”

Livvy laughed. Behind her, Ty mumbled something incoherent.

“Where are we?” Livvy questioned, snapping her eyes around the rocky landscape of the beach.

Ty’s eyes widened. “We’re trying something.”

Kit took a deep breath. He hadn’t been sure whether or not Ty was going to tell Livvy the complete truth, but as he saw Ty look at Livvy, he understood that Ty wasn’t going to keep anything from her. It was like Ty had said, ‘I don’t lie to you’. His sentence wasn’t just Ty’s truth to Kit but to Livvy also.

“Kit thinks that you’re the reason the sea demons are attacking,” Ty stated.

Kit winced at the words coming from his mouth. He could see Ty’s fear at the theory itself. It seemed to pain him to tell his twin something he wasn’t sure was true, something he didn’t  _ want  _ to be true.

Livvy started, her blue-green eyes flashing. “Me?”

Kit slunk below the outcropping of rocks, adjusting himself within the small space. “Livvy, I don’t want it to be true. But it’s something we have to at least test and-”

Livvy whirled to Ty, who was approaching the hole in the rocks hesitantly. “Ty, if there’s any chance I’m the reason these attacks are happening then… Then what are we going to do? I’m not going to be the one to bring danger to you. If anything happened to you then-”

“Livvy,” Ty said. “We don’t know if you’re the reason or not… I also don’t know what it means if you  _ are.  _ I don’t know… I can’t imagine…”

Kit felt sudden anger spark through him. How was it fair that Ty had to face this? If Livvy proved to be the reason why, what then? What would Kit do? What would  _ Ty  _ do?

Ty climbed down into the narrow space beside Kit, so their sides were pressed together, each surrounded by rocks. He looked up at his twin who was no longer alive, “I’m hoping Kit’s wrong. But Livvy… If you see a demon you need to disappear, right away.”

Livvy nodded, she looked down at Ty, her brown hair swirling around her face. “Ty if this  _ is  _ my doing then you can’t-”

“I don’t think it is,” Ty said lowly. “I was thinking about it earlier and it doesn’t make any sense. I don’t understand how it  _ could  _ be you.”

Kit fought the urge to turn his head toward Ty. Ty’s voice sounded like a rock scraping against a cliff. Weak.

Ty inhaled deeply. “Livvy I don’t what I’ll do if-”

Livvy’s head snapped away from Ty and Kit, facing toward the ocean. Kit watched as her face dawned with pale realization. Kit felt his heart sink as Livvy whispered, “It’s me.”

_ It had been even quicker than last time, just as Kit had expected. _

Livvy turned and faced Ty, giving him a fleeting glance of fear and desperation before she disappeared.

_ No,  _ Kit thought in his head.  _ No. _

But he had been right.

Kit peered over the area where he and Ty were hidden, and between the gaps and cracks of rock, he could make out sea demons crawling from the water, their bodies moving quickly and surely toward them.

He pulled his head down, trying to focus on getting rid of the demons before he allowed himself to understand what Livvy attracting demons truly  _ meant. _

Urgent, he turned to Ty, struggling to tilt his body in the cramped space. “There’s about twenty of them. Throw it.”

Ty had frozen in place, his grey eyes trained on the rock in front of him. He didn’t seem to comprehend what Kit had said.

“Ty,” Kit repeated. He didn’t know what Ty must have been thinking but he knew he couldn’t fight off that many demons by himself. “Ty, where’s the grenade?”

“Pocket,” Ty whispered, voice hoarse.

Kit cursed under his breath, moving his hand to Ty’s pocket. He slid his hand into Ty’s pocket, fisting the grenade (that wasn’t a grenade) in his palm. If it were any other time than he would have been blushing at the touch, but it was almost impossible to think like that now. Not when Ty was mad at him and demons were approaching them and Livvy was the reason for everything. Not when Kit could tell Ty didn’t know how to process Livvy’s connection to the investigation.

Rising to where half of Kit’s upper body was above the boulders, Kit fiddled with the grenade as he surveyed the cluster of ravenous sea demons. Activating the object, Kit wound his hand back and launched it mid-air, aiming to where the demons were centered.

Ducking his head behind the ridged rock, Kit, unaware how far the explosion would reach, circled the top of his body around Ty, who hadn’t moved. He made sure Ty’s headphones were pressed tightly against his earlobes, Kit pressed his hands against the ends so no noise could enter or escape them.

A thundering noise rippled through the air, louder than anything Kit had heard in his life. Utterly atom-splitting, the sound of the contraption blared through Kit’s body, seeming to electrify him with the volume.

Pressing his head into Ty’s hair (only able to do so by the large rock he had his feet pressed between) he shut his eyes. He wanted more than anything to take his hands and press them against his own ears, to dampen the powerful noise, but he didn’t remove them from Ty’s headphone ends. He knew even Ty’s music couldn’t drown out the sound, but Kit thought it might have helped, if only slightly.

Along with the ringing that followed the explosion, Kit felt his body thrum with energy. It was like he had touched a lighting bolt, and instead of it killing him, he had  _ become  _ it. Overhead, Kit could feel a quick rush of heatwaves, but even the warmth seemed to be masked out by the loudness that echoed in Kit’s earlobes.

He couldn’t have imagined that there were any demons left after that.

Several minutes followed, Kit felt dizzy and sheepish. He didn’t move his head for fear that the dense ringing would worsen. Underneath his upper body, Kit could feel Ty squirming, shaking Kit off him.

Although it sent a sharp jolt of aching through Kit’s head, he managed to pry himself off of Ty, leaning backward so his head rested on the rock wall and Ty was standing opposite of him, looking down at him a foot or two away.

“Are you,” Kit croaked, but he couldn’t hear himself. “Are you okay?”

Ty was looking at Kit with immense concern. His mouth was moving, gesturing at Kit’s ears, his eyebrows furrowed. Kit couldn’t hear a single thing he was saying over the remains of explosion noise.

Kit closed his eyes, sinking back into the rock, unable to hear Ty or his own voice. “Shhh.”

Everything was so, so  _ loud.  _ Kit could almost  _ feel  _ the soundwaves wrapping around him.

He was surprised when he felt Ty’s fingers brushing against his cheekbones and jaw as he lowered his headphones;  _ Ty’s  _ headphones that Kit had never seen Ty give  _ anyone, _ around Kit’s ears.

Kit opened his eyes, even in excruciating loudness, surprised at Ty. The other boy was looking back at him, cold fear apparent in his eyes. The fog, or was it smoke, had filtered into the enclosed space. It twirled around Ty, making him a dark shadow.

Kit couldn’t have been sure if the last thing he saw was the silhouette of Ty or if it was the rocks surrounding them before the thunderous noise carried him to sleep. **  
**

Kit woke up to the sound of piano and violins. His head ached, but the tranquil music soothed the dull pounding against his temples. Paired with the throbbing was the roughness against Kit’s back; the result of leaning against a hard surface.

Kit opened his eyes to the world, grimacing at the atmosphere around him. He was in the same area that he had been when the explosion had occurred. The rocks were ringed with soot. Kit blinked at the dark shades around him, noticing Ty wasn’t with him any longer.

Tentatively, Kit brought his hands to his hair, feeling Ty’s headphones resting against him. His hands came back rubbed with ash, a result of the explosion.

Wincing, Kit stood in the narrow space and climbed to the surface, where the rocks stretched toward the water. He searched the space for Ty, trying to calm the ringing in his ears.

The first thing Kit noticed was that everything smelled like smoke. Ash and charcoal were covering the entire surface of rocks, no sea demons were in sight. The fog had dissolved, leaving a heady grey transparency to the landscape. Across the water, the sun had begun to rise, not even halfway up yet. Instead of its usual orange, it was an angry rose. The same color as blood.

Among the disaster, Ty was leaning against a boulder, only a few feet from Kit, watching the scarlet sunrise. Kit approached him, taking in the ash that was streaked across Ty’s face. Kit could only imagine what his own face looked like, he had been closer to the explosion than Ty.

Ty looked up at Kit’s footsteps. “You’re awake.”

“Yeah,” Kit replied, he sat beside Ty, keeping a few inches between them. He removed Ty’s headphones from his body and handed them to Ty. “Thank you, for the headphones. You didn’t have to do that.”

Ty took the musical device, and instead of putting them on, he set them beside him. Ty’s eyes had bags underneath them and his hair was messily tangled with dust.

“Didn’t sleep?” Kit asked.

Ty leaned his head back into the rock. “No.”

“Did anything happen after I passed out?”

“I went to look around after the explosion, there were no more sea demons.”

“So,” Kit breathed. “Livvy-”

“I don’t know what to do,” Ty whispered. “I have no idea.”

“Me either.”

“Everyone’s going to find out. Everything’s going to be ruined.”

“Ty, don’t say that.”

Ty whirled to him, the ash making him look older than he was. “Don’t say what? That everything’s ruined? Kit, it  _ is.  _ I could get my  _ marks  _ taken away if the Clave finds out. We  _ both  _ could.”

“We won’t,” Kit said. “I won’t let that happen.”

Ty closed his eyes. “You can’t keep doing that.”

“Doing what?”

“Making promises that you can’t keep,” Ty said. “Neither of us know what’s going to happen from now on. Kit, I have my family and I have my  _ life  _ and-”

“Ty,” Kit stopped him. “We can fix this. I don’t know  _ how  _ yet but we’ll think of something. We always do.”

_ You  _ always do.

“I can’t lose her again,” Ty mumbled. “If I lose Livvy…”

The sky was boiling crimson. The reflection of the water made it look like the Pacific was going up in flames.

“We can’t tell anyone about this,” Kit said. Out of the two of them, Ty was usually the one who brainstormed their actions. But right now, Ty had too many emotions, so many that they overpowered his mind. “We need to mess up the sampling that they’re doing. Throw our search off somehow.”

“Lie?” Ty asked.

Kit looked at him boldly. “We don’t have to if you don’t want to. I’m not  _ asking  _ you too. But sometimes we have too to protect the people we love. That's why Julian lied about running the Institute for years, because he loved you and your siblings. If we lie about this, we’ll protect them from the pain of losing you. It would kill them to be lost to you, Ty. I don’t think either of you would be able to survive it.”

“So what if we do throw off the investigation? What are we going to do about Livvy?”

“I don’t know,” Kit admitted. “I wish I did.”

They were both quiet for a moment.

Kit wasn’t sure how they were going to mess up the samples, try to find a way to understand  _ why  _ Livvy was the reason for demon attacks, as well as fix it.

“Thank you,” Ty said. “For making sure my headphones stayed on during the explosion.”

“It hardly helped,” Kit mumbled.

“I didn’t pass out. You did.”

Kit sighed. “You have ash all over you.”

Ty turned to him, his grey eyes raking over Kit’s face. “So do you.”

“Yeah,” Kit laughed. “I can smell it.”

“It’s all in your hair,” Ty pointed out. “I can hardly tell it’s blonde.”

“It’s in yours too,” Kit said. “You look like you put chalk dust in it.”

Ty smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes.

Kit was desperate to make Ty happier. “Want to wash it off?”

Ty arched an eyebrow. “How?”

“Are you serious, Ty?” Kit gestured to the water. “We have the whole ocean in front of us.”

Ty pondered the question, before nodding. 

Smiling, Kit moved over the rocks, Ty following in his path. When they reached the water, Kit didn’t bother to remove anything, his entire body was already covered with charcoal. They each plunged into the water, it glowed a blazing red as the sun rose. The ash was under Kit’s fingernails, at the edges of his mouth, under his elbows.

Kit moved far enough into the water where he could push his whole body under, so he was fully submerged. The saltwater left a bitter flavor in his mouth, but it did wash the ember-taste away. The water was colder than usual this early, but it had never felt more refreshing.

When Kit surfaced, he looked around for Ty. He found the other Shadowhunter a few feet away from him, bent over, staring at the shallow waters.

“What is it?” Kit called, slowly moving toward Ty, trying not to scare whatever animal Ty had spotted.

Ty was staring intently at the shallows, seawater dripped from his clothes and hair. “It’s a type of fish. I’m not sure what kind.”

Kit moved until he was beside Ty, kneeling over the orange and blue fish. “Want to name it?”

“Name it?” Ty asked. “We’re not going to keep it.”

Kit smiled. “We don’t have to keep it to name it.”

Ty watched the small fish twirl around, it’s fins glittering in the dawn. “Bliss.”

“Hmm?”

“Bliss,” Ty repeated, grinning like he didn’t have a care in the world. “Its name is Bliss.”

“Why?”

Ty beamed. “Why not?”

Kit didn’t know how to respond to that. They watched the fish for a few minutes, it took a liking to Ty, twisting around his ankles. It nipped at Kit, which wasn’t a surprise. It was strange how simple and utterly  _ mundane  _ it was. To be here with Ty, staring at a fish, as the sun rose. For a moment, everything was forgotten. The situation with Livvy, Ty’s anger at Kit that they were each avoiding, the responsibilities they each had on them.

“You still have ash on your nose,” Kit said to Ty. He had been looking at the smudged charcoal for the past few seconds and felt condemned to point it out.

Ty reached up, unable to wipe it off.

“Here,” Kit quickly said. He dipped his hand in the water and brought it up to Ty’s face. Gently, he rubbed his thumb against Ty’s skin, attempting to remove the ash from his face.

Ty leaned into his touch for a second and at that small amount of contact something within Kit seemed to melt away.

But then the moment was ruined.

Ty jerked back, looking like he had just been burned. “Kit, you can’t do that.”

Kit looked at the water, trying to keep a steady voice. “I can’t?”

“No,” Ty shook his head. “Not when I… No.”

“Are you still mad about earlier?”

“What? No. I’m just-”

Kit stiffened. “Then what is it? Am I so repulsive that you don’t even want to come near me?”

Kit knew he was being dramatic, he could tell as much from Ty’s confused expression, but he didn’t understand what was going on. He was hurt that Ty didn’t want Kit to touch him and sad that Livvy was the object that attracted the demons and was still in numbness after the earlier explosion. It was all too much at once and Kit felt the weight of everything come crumbling down on him. He just wanted it to  _ stop. _

It was Ty’s turn to be angry. “Kit you’re so… You’re so…”

“I’m so  _ what?” _

“Confusing!” Ty yelled. “I don’t understand you.”

_ “You  _ don’t understand  _ me?”  _ Kit didn’t know why he was laughing. He didn’t know what either of them were saying.

“No,” Ty retorted. “Sometimes you’re so  _ different  _ than you used to be.”   


“Different?” Kit choked back a snort. “How so?”

Ty frowned at Kit’s tone. “Going out all the time. Lying. Drinking.”

Kit laughed so sarcastically it hurt his throat. “I’ve always done that.”

“No, you haven’t,” Ty said. “We used to be practically  _ inseparable,  _ do you remember that? When was the last time it was just the two of us? Doing something normal that  _ didn’t  _ have anything to do with Shadowhunter things?”

“Is this what all this is about?” Kit urged. “You’re mad because we don’t hang out as much as we used too?”

“No,” Ty spat. “I’m angry that sometimes you can be so… so  _ cruel _ and then a minute later you’re one of my favorite people.”

Ty’s hands were violently moving around him. They were no more than blurs in the red air.

“I’ve always been the same person Ty,” Kit said. “You just haven’t always been able to see it.”

Ty frowned. “You’re lying. You’re lying just like before.”

“Maybe,” Kit said. He wasn’t sure if he was shouting or whispering. “Yeah Ty, I drink sometimes. And yeah, I lie. And I go out, a lot.”

“Why?” Ty asked. Like he knew there was a simple answer.

“Because,” Kit felt the truth fall from his mouth. “I do it to get away from you.”

Ty paled, sadness replacing the anger in his eyes. “What?”

“No,” Kit quickly said. “Not because I don’t want to be around you but… Shit, Ty,  _ no.  _ Listen to me, that’s not why.”

Ty was blinking rapidly, his eyelashes were dark against his pale skin. “You want to get away from me?”

_ “No.  _ That was  _ not  _ the right thing to say. Ty, look at me.”

He didn’t.

Kit moved into Ty’s line of vision. “Ty,  _ look  _ at me.”

“Am I not enough for you?” Ty asked. “Am I not  _ good  _ enough for you, Kit? To be your friend, to be your  _ anything? _ ”

“Ty, you’re  _ too  _ good for me,” Kit said.

Ty wilted. “You keep saying that but then you go and say things like you don’t want me around.”

“Fuck,” Kit hated himself for making Ty confused. “No, that’s not true. Ty-”

“I shouldn’t be saying this,” Ty said. “I shouldn’t even be mad about this with everything else that’s going on but I  _ am.  _ And I’m sorry if that makes you upset but I can’t just make it go away.”

“Make what go away?”

“I remember,” Ty said. His grey eyes were lidded, his hair dripping water, his skin pale. “The kiss. I remember.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bet none of you saw THAT coming *please note the sarcasm*. Anyway, sorry for taking so long. Next chapter will, I promise, be uploaded either later tonight or early tomorrow morning (and yes, it will be just as dramatic as this one). Thank you so much for reading, liking, and commenting.


	12. Tomorrow

“I remember,” Ty said. His grey eyes were lidded, his hair dripping water, his skin pale. “The kiss. I remember.”

“But I thought you said you forgot?” Kit said. It was a stupid thing to say. But what had he said so far that wasn’t stupid? He suddenly felt incredibly vulnerable; his entire body dripping water, tangled hair, a distraught expression.

“I told you I could remember some things. Not everything, but I knew it was somebody,” Ty said. His voice had lowered, he was no longer yelling.

Kit was horrified. “So you knew this entire time?”

Ty turned away from him. “No. I had thought it was you though… I thought I remembered your voice, your hair… But then when you told me you didn’t know anything about it.”

“Shit,” Kit was mortified. “Ty…”

“I was upset,” Ty continued. “And confused. And I had been so sure it was you but then I thought I only  _ wanted  _ to think that because…”

Ty’s voice trailed off. Kit tried to catch Ty’s expression from his side-profile but he couldn’t read him.

Before Kit could say anything, Ty turned to him, eyes dark. “You  _ knew  _ that was important to me. We’ve talked about it before and you  _ know  _ that everything… everything like  _ that  _ at least, means a lot to me. I know it’s not the same for you. You’re lucky, Kit. You can get whoever you want and not care about any of it, but it’s different for me. I don’t get to do that.”

Kit swallowed. “I know.”

Ty’s cheekbones were flushed, whether from his anger or the conversation, Kit wasn’t sure. “I went to Magnus and asked him to let me see my memories clearly. I know you don’t get it but it felt like I  _ needed  _ to know, Kit. Whether it was some random stranger or not.”

Kit looked down in shame, he couldn’t look at Ty. “I’m sorry, Ty. I didn’t mean for it to happen.”

“I’m not… I’m not mad that it happened. I’m mad that you  _ lied  _ to me about it. You could have told me  _ multiple  _ times. Do you remember when we were on the boat? And I was talking about clues and Sherlock Holmes?”

“You were talking about the kiss,” Kit realized.

“That and...” Ty cut himself off, shaking his head. “Yes. Why did you do it? Why did you lie about it happening?”

“It’s not an excuse but I didn’t think you’d… I didn’t want you to regret it?” Kit didn’t know why it came out like a question. With anyone else, this conversation would have been pointless. But it wasn’t pointless, because it was Ty. Ty was different and better than anyone else he had ever met. “I didn’t want you to hate me.”

“Why would I  _ hate  _ you?” Ty seemed genuinely confused. “Kit, I could never  _ hate  _ you.”

Kit shrugged. “I didn’t want you to get mad that it happened. I didn’t want it to mess anything up. Ty, you were drunk.”

“We  _ both  _ were,” Ty corrected. “And besides, I was the one who kissed you.”

“But I didn’t drink as much as you,” Kit reasoned. Suddenly he was desperate for the blame to be put on himself. “Ty, I knew what I was doing.”

“I knew what  _ I _ was doing.”

“Do you remember when I was telling you about the nightmares I have? How I completely lose control of what I’m doing? That’s what being drunk is like, especially when you have as much as you did. Like someone is controlling your movements for you. You don’t know what you’re doing.”

“Stop trying to tell me what happened.”

“Fine.  _ You  _ tell  _ me. _ ”

Ty was silent. He was shaking, Kit realized. They were both cold and angry and wet.

Kit cleared his throat, speaking when Ty didn’t. “We were both under the influence of an alcoholic warlock drink and we kissed. It didn’t mean anything.”

Ty sighed. “You’re not  _ listening.” _

“I’m not listening to what?”

“To me.”

“I  _ am  _ listening. You’re upset that I lied to you about it and I understand. I shouldn’t have done it. I should have told you the truth,” Kit gestured to the tension between the two of them. “I don’t know how to fix this, Ty.”

“Why do we need to be fixed?”

“Ty, this situation isn’t good for either of us.”

“What situation?”

“The one that’s making us like  _ this _ . Constantly at each other’s throats. We need to move past it.”

Ty sighed. “You’re doing it again.”

“Doing what?”

“Pushing me away,” Ty paused. “I think it’s some kind of coping mechanism for you. You never encounter things head-on. I think that’s why you drink and go out all the time… Because you’re afraid. I’m not sure if you think we’re going to suddenly abandon you or if it’s some kind of attachment issue you had in your past but we used to be  _ close. _ Then one day, something changed. If that’s what you’re worried about… me pushing you away, it’s not going to happen. But right now, _ you’re  _ the one pushing  _ me  _ away.”

“So you want things to go back to the way they were?”

Ty inhaled, seeming to think. “It depends on what you mean. I don’t want to pretend. I don’t want to pretend that everything’s fine when it isn’t.”

I’m always pretending, Kit wanted to say.

“I want to help you,” Ty said. “I don’t know what happened but I want to help. But you can’t lie to me anymore.”

How was it that Ty had gone from being angry at Kit to trying to help him? Kit felt a sudden love for Ty, for Ty’s goodness, for the fact that even though Ty should have been focusing on the struggles they were facing with Livvy; he was worried about Kit.

Maybe that’s what friendship was, helping the other person above whatever else you were going through.

“I want us to be okay again,” Ty said. “I want to be able to talk to you because you  _ want  _ to talk to me. Not because I’m the only one there. I want you to be able to tell me about your problems.”

“I want us to be okay again too.” It was an honest response. Finally.

Ty seemed to think something over in his head. “I don’t want you to go out late anymore.”

“What? Why?”

“It’s… I don’t want you to be…” Ty blinked. “It’s confusing, for me.”

“Confusing?” Kit drew the word out longer than it should have been.

“Yes,” Ty answered. “I don’t like it when you do.”

“Why are you telling me this now? If you’re worried that I’m going to get attacked or something then you need to know that I can defend myself and I’ve been-”

“No. That’s not… That’s not  _ why.  _ I know you can handle yourself.” Ty seemed to be debating something in his head. “I just don’t want you to do it anymore, okay?”

Kit laughed bitterly. “Are you going to get me a shock collar or something?”

“What? Why would I… No. You’re going to get hurt eventually if you keep doing it. Maybe not physically… But  _ emotionally.  _ It’s not good for you. And… And it hurts me  _ too. _ ”

Kit remembered what Tavvy had told him about Ty,  _ ‘I think it makes him upset. When you leave.’ _

“I’m sorry,” Kit whispered. “I didn’t know.”

But hadn’t he a little bit? Hadn’t Ty said something the night at Vox’s mansion about feeling like Kit was far away? Hadn’t it been noticeable that neither of them were the same as they were before?

Ty swayed a bit, his lean body seeming to be moving in the breeze coming off the ocean. “I miss it.”

Without Ty having to explain what he meant, Kit understood.

“I do too,” Kit agreed. Pausing, he took a deep breath, “I’m sorry for everything Ty. I shouldn’t have lied about the kiss. I’m sorry for making you feel like… Like I was trying to distance myself from you. I won’t go out anymore if that’s what you want. I would never do anything to hurt you intentionally.”

Ty relaxed, his hands had slowed their movements in the air, falling to his sides.

Kit opened his mouth, not completely sure what he wanted to say. Although it seemed like they had moved past everything, at least in dialogue, tension was still humming in the air between the two of them.

“Everything’s so fucked up right now,” Kit finally breathed into the light of day. “I don’t… I don’t know what we should do.”

“Endure it. Experience it.”

Kit looked down at the water, concentrating on the liquid swirling beneath him. “Is it horrible to say can we just do everything tomorrow? Can we just have a normal day? One where we’re not in fear of getting our marks taken away?”

“I don’t know,” Ty breathed. “I don’t know anything right now.”

Kit glanced up at Ty; noticing his tired eyes and lazy stance. “You need to sleep. You’ve haven’t slept all night.”

It was the only thing Kit  _ did  _ know.

“Ready to go home?”

Kit thought back to when they had been on the boat, about to travel back to the Institute, when Ty had said those same exact words. Except that felt like a lifetime ago. Back then the sentence had sounded hopeful, now it was lethargic.

“Yeah,” Kit answered. Despite being unconscious for most of the night, he wasn’t against the idea of sleeping. Returning to the Institute the sooner, the better. Ty and him both needed to process what had happened. Ty needed familiarity. So did Kit.

They walked back in silence, just like they had hours before.

They entered the Institute a half-hour later. In that period of time, the sun had risen and Los Angeles had come alive; animals coming out of their hiding spots, flowers stretching toward the sun, the distant sound of cars drifting from beyond the sea-grass hills.

No one was awake inside the Institute yet, although they did spot Emma and Cristina asleep on the foyer’s couches, along with the demon inside its cage. Ty and Kit quietly snuck past them, moving up the Institute’s staircase until they were walking down the long hallway where their rooms were.

Ty hesitated at his door, shooting a slow gaze at Kit. “Are you… Are you tired?”

Kit struggled to find a smile. “I guess? The rocks weren’t that comfortable.”

“Do you…” Ty began. “Do you want to sleep in my room?”

Kit’s eyes widened.

Ty noticed and instantly looked to the floor, embarrassed. “Is that weird? Sorry. I thought that because we were trying to be like we used to be that you might want to-”

It was true that a year or two ago Kit had slept in Ty’s room with him occasionally (on a couch that Julian had forced Ty to get if the sleeping arrangements were going to continue). Kit had slept in there whenever the two had been talking for the whole night and he was too lazy to head back to his own room. But as time went on, Kit had stopped the casual act; a result of scavenging around Los Angeles at night and returning even later.

“-Forget I even asked,” Ty was saying as Kit stood flustered and speechless. “I was just trying too-”

“Yeah,” Kit said after he regained his breath. He wondered if he was only imagining the awkwardness. “Are you sure you want me too?”

“Why wouldn’t I?” Ty brightened, clearly relieved. There were very few windows in the hallway, but enough sunrays leaked through so Kit could see Ty without squinting.

Kit pointed to his own door, farther down the hallway. “I’m gonna go get ready. I’ll be back.”

“Sure,” Ty said, ducking into his own room.

A few minutes later, after changing and getting ready for bed, Kit stopped outside Ty’s door. As it turned out, Kit had removed the majority of ash from his face in the ocean, but a shower would still be required the next day.

Kit didn’t know why he paused outside Ty’s door. He was struck with the sudden information that he couldn’t remember the last time he had been in Ty’s room. It wasn’t that Ty wouldn’t let him enter it, but that Kit hardly ever had a reason too.

Sighing at his self-idiocy, Kit pushed the door open, shutting it behind him.

Ty’s room looked like it always had. Kit spotted Ty’s books, the color organization of the room, exactly as Kit remembered it. Ty looked up at him from the middle of the room, watching Kit take in the space.

Ty rose two different blankets in the air, each in a different hand. “Do you want the turtle one or the orange one?”

“You’re offering me blankets?” Kit laughed nervously. “I don’t remember you having any.”

Ty shrugged. “It’s been awhile.”

“It has,” Kit said. “And the turtle one, obviously.”

“That’s what I guessed,” Ty smiled, dropping the blanket on the couch. “I had to ask though.”

Kit moved to the sofa, sinking back into the leather. “I missed this couch.”

“It missed you,” Ty said.

The room was windowless, if Kit hadn’t been outside only minutes before he would never have guessed it was early morning. Keeping the dim light that  _ was  _ in the room on, Ty settled into his bed, tilting his head to the side so Kit was in his field of vision.

Kit adjusted himself on the couch, pulling the turtle blanket over him. “What are you thinking about?”

“Livvy,” Ty said. “The investigation. Demons. Necromancy. I can’t  _ stop  _ thinking.”

“We need a plan, Ty.”

“Tomorrow,” Ty answered. “We’ll do everything tomorrow.”

“It  _ is  _ tomorrow,” Kit pointed out. If it was anyone other than Ty he would have pushed for a response until they knew what they were going to do. But because it was Ty, and because of the situation he was going through, he didn’t.

Ty frowned. “When I wake up, then.”

“Okay,” Kit responded. He flicked his gaze toward Ty, “I know that you’re worried about losing Livvy.”

“Haven’t I lost her already?” Ty asked. “If I call her back to me now then more demons will come. She told me that she didn’t want to be the reason for putting me or anyone else in danger but… Without her here…”

“She  _ is  _ still here,” Kit said. “Maybe not physically, but you can still call her to you whenever you want.”

Ty leaned into his headboard, his dark hair blended with the wood. “I can’t. Not if it means putting anybody in danger. And if you were right about the fact that as time passes, the more powerful her necromantic force becomes… How can I bring her here knowing that  _ worse  _ things could happen? What if it’s not just sea demons? What if it’s something  _ darker? _ What if I start becoming like her too? What if the bond that we have causes  _ me  _ to attract demons?”

“I’m here,” Kit said. “No matter what happens, I’ll always be here.”

Ty had grabbed an object from his bedside table and was twisting it swiftly in his hands. He was voicing his thoughts rapidly, syllables falling from his mouth like rain. The weak light in the room captured his anxiety in shades of washed-out yellow.

“Am I selfish to want to bring her here?” Ty mumbled.

“No, it makes you human.”

Kit corrected himself, attempting to bring some lightheartedness to the room. “Well, not  _ human,  _ exactly. It makes you  _ Nephilim.  _ Even half-angels aren’t perfect.”

Ty laughed, if only slightly. Righting himself, he returned the hand-held object to the table next to his bed. “Tomorrow.”

They exchanged a look of understanding. Tomorrow they would make a plan, try to have some structure to all this. Tomorrow the pressure would rise and they would be Shadowhunters again; energized and strong and brave.

But for now, they were just Ty and Kit.

“I missed this,” Ty said. “I missed talking to you like this; here with me.”

Kit closed his eyes, not from tiredness, but calmness. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?” He heard the sheets on Ty’s bed rustle, an aftereffect from Ty’s movement.

It wasn’t odd that Ty was asking. In the past hour Kit had been apologizing for a variety of different things.

“Everything,” Kit replied. “I missed this too.”

And he  _ did. _

It had been such a long time since he had been in Ty’s room with him, talking about their problems to each other, listening to everything the other said. It made Kit wonder why he had ever started acting out and distancing himself in the first place.

But then he opened his eyes and he remembered.

Because just look at him, Kit thought. The shadows under Ty’s eyes and the remainder of unwashed dust in his hair and his pale skin and his thoughts and his gentleness and his  _ everything.  _ There was nothing about Ty that  _ wasn’t _ fascinating.

It didn’t matter though. Ty needed him here and Kit wasn’t going to let unwanted emotions push Ty away from him like he already had before.

“Tell me something,” Ty said.

“Like what?”

“Anything. Something to distract us from everything.”

Kit thought about it, confused. “What music do you like to listen to?”

It wasn’t Kit telling Ty anything, but it was something he had been wondering since earlier that day. It had occurred to Kit that in all the years he’d know Ty he had never asked.

“Classical, mostly.”

“That’s what your headphones were playing earlier, right?”

Ty nodded, his eyes sweeping shut. “I thought it would help after the explosion. When I realized you couldn’t hear me… I don’t know. It was loud, even for me, and it was muffled from the music.”

“I’ve never seen you give them to someone,” Kit observed. “Your headphones, I mean.”

Ty’s fingertips were toying with the blankets around him. “I thought it would help. I didn’t think about it.”

Regardless, it had meant a lot to Kit.

Kit glanced over to where Ty was. He desperately wished he could read the other boy's mind, to get a glimpse at what he was thinking. Although Ty had said he wanted to focus on the investigation later that same day (referring to it as tomorrow), Kit could see Ty was worried. His body language was tense, even in his bed.

He wondered if Ty was still mad about Kit lying to him or not. He didn’t think anger just went away that quickly, especially not the way Ty had acted to it.

“Ty,” Kit said. “I’ve been thinking about something and I wanted to talk to you about it.”

Grey eyes opened, glancing Kit’s way. “What is it?”

“That night at Vox’s,” Kit started. “You said that I used to know exactly what you were feeling all the time and I always knew exactly how to fix it…”

“It wasn’t fair of me to say that,” Ty said. “Lately, _I_ don’t even know what I’m feeling.”

“But you were right,” Kit confirmed. “I know contact comforts you and I haven’t been doing it. I didn’t realize until you said something that you even noticed.”

Kit had put a hand on Ty’s shoulder recently, but nothing beyond that.

“I don’t expect you to read my mind,” Ty admitted. “It’s not like I can read yours.”

_ And thank the Angel for that,  _ Kit thought.

“I just wanted to let you know that I’ll try,” Kit said. “But if I don’t notice if you’re feeling upset and you want my help then you have to tell me what to do. I’m not good at this, the whole comfort thing.”

Ty smiled at him. “You sound like a therapist.”

“I would be a horrible one,” Kit laughed. “But seriously, I mean it.”

“I know,” Ty replied.

Kit’s eyelids had begun to fall, becoming heavier as more time went on.

“Lights off?” Kit asked, giving Ty a suggestive look.

Ty nodded, reaching over and fiddling with the light until the room was bathed in darkness.

“Good night,” Ty said sleepily.

Kit wanted to say something about it being daytime but he shut himself up before he could start.

“See you tomorrow,” Kit responded, even though it was already today.

To Kit’s surprise, sleep came easily. And where the last time Kit had followed the deafening ringing in his ears to sleep, he now followed the memory of pianos and violins, treasuring the couch beneath him instead of the toughness of rocks.

But despite attempting to resolve all their issues, Kit still felt uneasy. It seemed too quick, too sudden.

_ Tomorrow, _ he thought.  _ I’ll think about that tomorrow. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you expecting a confession, I'm sorry, honestly. It's a slow-burn for a reason and I PROMISE it's going to happen soon so please bear with me. I'm not trying to drag it out THAT long but I think before any of that *stUff* happens, some friendship issues need to be mended. Anyway, thank you for all the wonderful comments, liking, and reading. :) Next update soon.


	13. Mending

“So this is happening again?”

Kit groaned sleepily, gluing his eyes shut as witchlight filled the room. He silently cursed Julian, whose voice was interrupting the peaceful silence that came with sleep.

Beneath his eyelids, the memories of last night and earlier that day came back to him like snippets from a movie; Livvy’s distraught glance as she realized  _ she  _ was the reason the sea demons had been unusually attacking Los Angeles, the sharp red of dawn, Ty’s voice as he confessed he remembered kissing Kit, and then later, him holding out two blankets to Kit like a friendship peace offering. Now, Kit pulled the turtle blanket that had fallen around his waist up to his neck for warmth, pushing aside the thought of strangling Julian with it.

He heard Julian’s exasperated sigh. “You both missed breakfast, which is suspicious enough as it is.”

It was true that Kit rarely passed up the opportunity for food. On the other hand, Ty woke up early everyday, the result of a strict schedule he had himself on. Kit wasn’t surprised that Julian thought something secretive was occurring.

“We tested the demon blood samples,” Julian said, changing the subject. The information stirred Kit upright, pumping energy into his system. He blinked his eyes, wincing at the newfound brightness. “We got the results back and we’ve got a lead. A few actually.”

Kit’s heart sank, but he tried his best to look relieved. “Great. What did you find out?”

It didn’t appear to be anything concrete, judging by Julian’s hesitant expression. Nevertheless, Kit felt himself tense. He glimpsed Ty, who was taking in Julian, his grey eyes still glazed from sleep. The nervousness in Ty was apparent by his fingertips that were tapping rhythmically against the mattress.

Julian passed his gaze between the two of them cautiously. “First, what were you two doing last night?”

Kit exchanged a frightened glance with Ty.

Julian saw it and narrowed his eyes. When Kit had first arrived at the Institute, he had easily picked up on the hierarchy of everyone living there. Before Helen and Aline had taken over the authority of the Institute, Kit had first-hand experienced Julian’s leadership skills, as well as his parent-like nature toward his younger siblings. As of now, Julian was demonstrating the same fatherly role that he so often used.

“Don’t try to deny that you were out either,” Julian said. “Emma told me she woke up and saw you walking inside earlier this morning.”

Kit thought back to when he had spotted Emma and Cristina on couches in the foyer, in case the sea demon lashed out during the night. It seemed that he had been wrong to assume they had both been asleep.

“I’m eighteen,” Ty stated, his voice was raspy from sleep. He was peering up at Julian carefully, but his words had a hint of a challenge. “You don’t have to watch my every move.”

Julian’s expression softened at his younger brother. “I know, I trust you to take care of yourself. But I can’t help but be worried with the demon attacks… Ty, I just want you to be  _ safe. _ ”

Kit saw Ty bite his lip at the reminder of the demons. He had no doubt Ty was remembering Livvy and her role in the investigation. His face was clouded, like he couldn’t process Julian’s words. If Julian weren’t here, Kit would have whispered words of encouragement to Ty, in an attempt to subside the dark reminder of the night before.

“We were on the beach,” Kit said, desperate to draw the attention off of Ty. Julian had always been able to notice the emotions of others, and Kit didn’t want Ty to be put under anymore speculation than he already was. Besides, he wasn’t lying (it was a half-truth) and Julian  _ had  _ wanted an explanation. “It’s my fault, I wanted to go for a walk and I dragged Ty with me.”

“And you spent the whole night  _ walking? _ ” Julian blinked at Kit, clearly unconvinced.

“Kit fell asleep on the beach,” Ty said, once again telling a part-truth. “I’m sorry, Jules. I didn’t mean to make you worry. Honestly, it was harmless.”

Julian absorbed Ty’s explanation, his blue-green eyes considerant. “Alright.”

Ty smiled at him, radiating brotherly affection. Kit caught Julian’s posture relaxing at Ty’s newfound warmness. For his own part, Kit wasn’t sure if Julian completely believed them or if he was just dropping the subject for Ty’s sake.

Kit yawned, aiming his blue eyes at Julian. “The investigation?”

“Right,” Julian said. “I don’t expect either of you to know much about this kind of thing, Helen had to explain most of it to me. From the blood, we could determine patterns in the demon’s actions and distinguish if anything irregular is happening to influence it.”

Ty was soaking in the information with all of his being. “And?”

“We’re not sure  _ why  _ exactly, but the demon’s blood sugar is extremely high. We took multiple different samples throughout the night… each about an hour apart. It’s levels were normal and then they spiked.”

“You said you had leads,” Kit remembered. “What are they?”

“When we were testing the blood, we discovered the fluid was weak. There was much less of it than there should have been in its body. At first Aline thought the creature was losing its strength from not moving, but then she noticed the blood… Disappearing.”

From across the room, Kit heard Ty’s sharp intake of breath. He imagined Ty searching for an explanation, especially now that they knew more about the situation then Julian did.

“What does that mean?” Kit questioned. He trusted Ty was sorting through the newfound information in his head, but until he could talk to him in private, he was going to pry as much information out of Julian as possible.

“Cristina thinks a necromantic power is absorbing the demonic energy,” Julian shuddered. “We don’t have enough details to know exactly what it is, but Jaime says that we have to investigate the areas where the sea demons have been drawn too. In theory, that could give us potential clues as to what we’re up against… But only if there’s clues left behind.”

Kit relaxed, he had been thinking they had discovered much worse, but this was hardly  _ anything.  _ There was no possible way they could track Livvy if she was a ghost, right? There wouldn’t be any clues to find.

“Tonight, both of you, Dru, and Jaime will be going to Druid’s Tavern, it’s a glamoured bar in downtown LA. Another Shadowhunter reported there was an unusual sea demon attack a few days ago, on the roof.”

Kit realized he was referring to Lyle, the Herondale-loving Shadowhunter who had faced off the demons with Ty and Kit only days before. Only now did he recall they had never told Julian or any of the Institute inhabitants about the attack. Jaime was the only one who had confronted Kit about being out that night, but he also didn’t know about the rooftop attack.

And with the way Julian was already scolding Ty for being in dangerous situations, Kit didn’t think Ty  _ or  _ himself were going to mention they were involved in the bar’s attack.

Ty cast a glance at Kit, communicating with a flick of his eyes before sweeping his gaze back to Julian. “What are we looking for, exactly?”

“Anything,” Julian answered. “The Shadowhunter that fought the demons off is meeting you there for questioning. He’s the only witness we have contact with so you guys can ask him about what happened in  _ detail. _ Hopefully we can see if anything unusual happened… Anything that could help us.”

Ty tensed. Kit couldn’t blame him. How were they supposed to question him if they had both been there themselves and couldn’t talk about it?

Emma’s voice rang through the Institute, she was calling for Julian from downstairs.

“I’d get gear on before you leave,” Julian said, turning to the door’s threshold. “Just in case.”

He left the room, leaving Ty and Kit alone.

“Are you okay?” Kit asked. It was the first time he had addressed Ty aloud since they had woken up.

Ty stiffly nodded. “Just thinking.”

Kit stood from the couch and came to join Ty on the bed, laying beside him. He wanted to make Ty feel settled and hoped that being next to him would show him that. They were each staring at the ceiling, trying to verbalize their thoughts into words. Kit made sure to keep distance between them, not so much as to be noticeable, but enough so he didn’t feel like he was suffocating.

“He said that something was  _ absorbing  _ the demon’s blood…” Kit spoke to the ceiling. “Does that mean Livvy…?”

“Is absorbing demonic power?” Ty finished. Kit could see he was breathing quickly, the pulse in his neck was thrumming rapidly.

Kit shifted so he was looking at Ty directly. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”

“Livvy’s behavior… The strange one after a long period of time… What if it’s because of that? The demonic presence is clinging to her when she comes here and it’s making her  _ darker. _ ”

Kit heard the fear in Ty’s voice. He didn’t know how to lessen it.

“If I bring her back,” Ty began, his voice quivering. “She’s only going to absorb  _ more  _ of it. What if… What if she stops being herself  _ completely?  _ What if she stops being  _ my  _ Livvy?”

The weight of the situation had seemed to overtake Ty. Despite the few hours of sleep he had gotten, he looked worse than he had the night before. He reminded Kit of a thin sheet of paper; delicate, easily destroyed.

Not knowing how to answer Ty’s questions, Kit moved closer, brushing a hand against the space between them. “Can I?”

Ty nodded, understanding.

Kit hesitantly curled an arm around Ty’s torso, leaning his head against Ty’s shoulder. Given that they were laying down, it wasn’t quite a hug, but it resembled something of the sort. Kit was reminded of when he had told Ty about his nightmares and Ty had held him through it. Somehow, Ty’s arms around him had calmed him in a way that words never could. Now it was Kit’s turn to comfort Ty.

Actions were more powerful than words could ever be.

Ty melted against Kit like he was breaking a dam apart and letting a clear stream of water through. And for once, Kit wasn’t thinking about anything but helping Ty. As Ty’s breathing soothed, Kit let himself relax. It was strange how someone else’s peace could resonate with another.

“Thank you,” Ty whispered into Kit’s hair. “You’re good at this.”

Kit didn’t know what he meant, but he didn’t press. “When did Julian say we were going to the bar?”

“I don’t think he did,” Ty said. “When does it open?”

Kit pushed himself up on one elbow, not moving away. “Is that a trick question?”

“Why would it be?”

“I thought I wasn’t supposed to be going out anymore,” Kit smiled mockingly, eyes gleaming.

Ty sighed, frowning. “That doesn’t have anything to do with me asking.”

“True,” Kit complied. “I honestly don’t know. I’ve only been there a handful of times.”

“I’ve only been there once,” Ty confessed. “And only to fight demons. It wasn’t enjoyable.”

Kit smiled, eyes flitting over Ty. From this close, he could see the remainder of ash in his dark hair. Furthermore, the aroma of burned wood lingered all around him.

“One thing’s for sure,” Kit laughed. “You need to shower before we go there. You smell like a bonfire.”

Ty glared at him, but his twinkling eyes made it clear he wasn’t upset. “That makes two of us. You smell stronger than I do.”

“Maybe,” Kit answered. And then, still laughing, not quite knowing what he was saying, “We can shower together.”

Ty froze mid-laughter, turning an unholy shade of red.

Kit was scarred at the words that had come out of his mouth. It has slipped out  _ completely  _ by mistake… He hadn’t even thought about it. Now he was as flushed as Ty, wondering whether it would be easier to run from the room or smash an object over his head to save himself from the mortal embarrassment of it all.

It wasn’t something Kit ever thought about… It was never something he would  _ let  _ himself think about. But now the idea had plunged into his mind and all he could think of was water and heat and skin, skin, skin and  _ stop. _ Stop.

“I’m joking,” Kit gasped, deciding that,  _ yes,  _ smashing his head into the witchlight would be the easiest way to go. “I don’t know why I said that, sorry. Wow, I’m so uncomfortable with myself right now.”

Because he  _ honestly  _ had not been thinking anything of the sort. It was something he would have said to a random hookup, somebody he planned on never seeing again. He wasn’t sure if that side of him- the flirtatious Kit- had appeared naturally or if it was just an mishap of words.

Kit was so deliriously  _ fucked. _

“I know,” Ty quickly answered. He was still flaming, not used to a comment like that. Kit felt horrible for unsettling him. “I know you didn’t mean anything by it.”

“Okay, okay.” Kit pushed himself off the bed, he  _ had  _ to get out of this room before he screwed anything else up. They had been having a completely  _ normal  _ conversation and somehow he had managed to ruin that too. “I’m going to leave to shower. Alone. Not to sound suggestive or anything but honestly. And I’m going to stop talking while I’m at it so… Yeah.”

He left before he further humiliated himself, moving into the safe haven of his bedroom where he could finally breathe again. He drew the water for the shower, turning it to the coldest, icest, most self-shamed temperature that was possible. If one thing was going to remain intact, it would be his modesty. He had never thought of Ty when he was doing anything involving sexual forms and he wasn’t going to start now… Not when he still had  _ some  _ dignity left. **  
  
**

“It’s a bar, Jaime,” Dru scowled. Her brown hair was pulled back, a shade lighter than the protective, leather-like gear that would be needed if any more surprise attacks seemed to occur. “I don’t think they have milkshakes.”

Kit muffled a laugh. “You’d think he of all people would know that.”

“What is  _ that  _ supposed to mean? You’re one to talk if you’re accusing me of being a bar-devotee,” Jaime frowned. “And to defend myself, some bars  _ do  _ make milkshakes. The good ones do, anyway. It’s called Druid’s  _ Tavern _ for a reason, isn’t it? Doesn’t that mean they offer food?”

Ty raised an eyebrow, ignoring Jaime’s rambles. “What’s a bar-devotee?”

“Kit is a perfect example of one,” Jaime answered. Kit glared at the older Shadowhunter. “Someone who loves bars.”

“Fuck off.” As usual, downtown Los Angeles was a carnival of light in the nighttime air. The four Shadowhunters were all glamoured and armed with weapons and gear. They were less than a block away from the Druid’s Tavern, Kit could see the neon sign in the distance, isolated between a run-down bank and an unpopular coffee shop. Kit assumed the bar appeared to mundanes as an abandoned antique store, mundanes didn’t spare it a passing glance.

“The Shadowhunter we’re questioning said he’d be getting there early and waiting for us,” Jaime said, changing the subject from mindless banter to seriousness. “I was thinking we’d all head up to the roof and look around. Hopefully we’ll find  _ something  _ that will help us move to the next step.”

Dru’s had a daring look painted on her face. “Emma and Jules are searching the locations of the beach attacks on the West Coast. I think Cristina said she and Mark were reaching out to victims of the different attacks that aren’t willing to meet in person. If we don’t find anything, they will.”

In Kit’s peripheral vision he saw Ty stiffen. Although they both knew there wouldn’t be anything to find tonight, it didn’t stop either of them from worrying. They didn’t know what was going to happen next; after no further information was reached.

The only other problem was that Kit and Ty hadn’t told Dru or Jaime (or anybody at the Institute) that they had been involved in the attack on the rooftop. The morning after it had happened they had portaled to go on the boat and the incident had been oddly forgotten. On the other hand, Kit hadn’t brought it up to Julian earlier that day for risk of Ty facing another round of ‘be careful’ and ‘you have to be safe’.

Ty seemed to be thinking the same thing as they approached the bar’s outer doors. He hung back a bit, moving his head to whisper in Kit’s ear, “We should tell them, shouldn’t we?”

“We should,” Kit agreed. Lyle would no doubt recognize him and Ty from a few nights earlier and he was positive it would come up. Raising his voice, “Dru, Jaime; you guys should know that Ty and I were-”

His voice was drowned out by the thrum of loud music leaking from the bar’s open doorway. Dru gave him a look as if to say ‘later’ and Jaime seemed pleased that Kit had been cut off. The four of them walked into the tavern; eclipsed by the electric lights, pounding music, and crowd of Downworlders and Shadowhunters.

“Where did he say he’d be?” Dru yelled to Jaime over the heavy disco-tech. “The roof?”

Jaime shook his head, dark eyes covering the room. “He didn’t say, exactly. Just that he’d be here.”

Kit searched the space, but it was hard to make out the faces of people with the flashing colors of the room. Beside him, Ty pulled his headphones over his ears to eliminate the noise rushing through the room. Once they were on the roof, it would be easier to bear the sound level.

“Herondale,” a voice drawled lazily. Kit spun around, meeting eyes with the semi-familiar face of Lyle. “Didn’t expect to see you here so soon. Come back for more?”

Kit fought the urge to roll his eyes. “Weren’t you the one that said we wouldn’t be seeing each other around?”

“Maybe, but I’ve been wrong before. I’d love to buy you a drink but I'm actually waiting for someone.” Lyle said nonchalantly. His green eyes blinked warmly at Kit. (Kit had remembered them being the one feature that didn’t resemble Ty, but as he looked at Lyle now he was struck that the only thing he  _ did  _ have in common with Ty was his hair and height). Now, he watched as Lyle took in Ty, Dru, and Jaime, as well as the gear they all wore, realization appearing in his bottle green iris’. “Oh… You  _ are _ the someone.”

Dru moved next to Kit, hands on her hips. “Kit, you know this guy?”

Kit didn’t answer.

Lyle brightened, his attributes being colored in bronze. “We’ve met.”

Kit glanced over at Ty to see if now was a good time to inform Jaime and Dru about their role in the attack, but Ty’s eyes were rooted on Lyle, his face in pure dislike. Kit wasn’t surprised; he remembered telling Ty that Lyle had been especially focused on Kit’s relation to Herondale’s. In fact, it had been one of the few things the two had talked about in the short time they had known each other.

“Although this is a friendly reunion,” Jaime laughed. “Could we take this up to the roof? I think the music is demolishing my brain.”

“You’re Lyle? And you know Kit?” Dru asked, disregarding Jaime.

Lyle nodded. “You four are from the LA Institute?”

“We’re supposed to be questioning you about the sea demon attack that was held here a few nights ago,” Dru justified.

“I know. I didn’t realize… Did these two not give you enough information?” Lyle gestured to Kit and Ty. “I didn’t have any way to contact them so I assumed you had  _ only  _ me to question.”

“What do you mean? Why would…?” Jaime caught Kit’s eye, awareness rising in his expression. “The other night when you came back late you were  _ here? _ ”

“I was here too,” Ty admitted.

Dru’s eyes glowed under the green luminosity. She forcefully grabbed Kit and Ty’s arms and pulled them toward the staircase to the rooftop, calling behind her, “Follow me.”

When the five of them reached the roof, Dru let go of Ty and Kit and crossed her arms in front of her. Jaime was smiling at Dru’s fierceness and to his left, Lyle was leaning against the thin railing surrounding the area. As it had the last time Kit had been there, the space was completely empty. It appeared beverages and bar food were more interesting than the dazzling skyline of Los Angeles.

“What are you two hiding?” Dru seethed.

Ty tugged his headphones downward so they circled his neck. “What do you mean?”

“Is there a reason you didn’t tell  _ anyone  _ you were here that night? I don’t understand why you didn’t say something, especially because it would help the investigation…”

“We forgot?” Kit said stupidly.

Jaime laughed at the poor excuse. “You forgetting anything? Impossible.”

“It never came up. It’s not a huge deal…”

Dru turned so she could easily look at Kit, Ty, and Lyle. “Well now that we have all three of you here, we can get a full explanation.”

“I don’t know why you guys didn’t say anything,” Lyle addressed Ty and Kit. “We fought them all off. It’s not like anyone broke a limb. Speaking of which… What happened to your cheek?”

Kit had almost forgotten about the red welt on his face. Recently he had much greater issues. Whatever burning had previously come to the wound had faded and was no more than an occasional sting.

“A chain,” Kit answered. “Although I don’t think that it matters right now.”

Jaime smirked. “Finally something I can agree with.”

“So the demon attack happened up here?” Dru asked, returning to the important situation at hand. “Was there anyone else up here?”

“It was just us two,” Lyle signaled to Kit. “We were up here talking and then…”

_ “Talking?”  _ Dru pressed. “I need the situation  _ specifically. _ ”

Kit resisted the urge to sigh. He wasn’t sure if Dru suspected more had happened and was worried about Kit’s behavior towards other people given his feelings for Ty or if he was looking too much into it and all Dru wanted was to set the stage in her head so she could understand it better. 

“We were the only ones there,” Lyle continued. “It was especially busy downtown that night, if that matters or not.”

Ty had moved to look over the roof’s railing, staring at the street below. Kit came to lean beside him, but had his head facing Lyle, Jaime and Dru.

“We were kissing and then,” Lyle’s eyes flicked to Ty, most likely recalling what followed their actions.

Kit quickly finished Lyle’s sentence, not wanting him to say anything about their short conversation regarding Ty. “Then the first demon showed up. It was alone.”

“We killed it quickly,” Lyle bragged.

“Then Ty showed up.”

Jaime peered at Ty. “What were you doing here?”

Ty, still turned away from the rest of them, was running his hand along the banister as if to absorb the material. “I was following Kit. I didn’t know where he was going so I followed him from the Institute until he went up to the roof. I saw the demons when I was trailing him.”

He didn’t mention Livvy.

Lyle explained the rest of the attack in detail to Dru and Jaime; recounting the dozens of demons and how they had scurried over the other buildings towards them. Suspiciously, he added, the demons hadn’t attacked the mundanes in the streets below, but had headed right toward them, like they were drawn to the building itself.

“I’m not sure why the demons would be interested in this place,” Lyle said. “I didn’t see anything out of the ordinary. There didn’t seem to be anything special that night.”

“Downstairs was like it always was,” Kit added. “Alcohol and lights, people dancing and drinking. Not much else.”

Jaime clenched his jaw, thinking. “Maybe… Maybe there was something you couldn’t see? Is there a basement to this place? Maybe there was an invisible person?”

“What?” Kit laughed. “You’re just making things up now.”

Dru looked at Kit. “What about ghosts?”

Next to him, Ty jolted.

“Nope,” Kit said casually. “I’d have seen one.”

Dru sighed. Kit couldn’t blame her restlessness. If their roles had been reversed, he would have been frustrated also. There didn’t appear to be anything to go on, no matter how hard they looked. Kit hid his relief.

Jaime had begun to pace the span of the roof, circling the railing and searching the ground. He didn’t seem to be making any discoveries.

“It’s a bit of a reach,” Lyle began. “But you could talk to the manager here and ask for the customers of that night. You could reach out to them and see if they saw anything strange?”

It was a pointless idea and they all knew it. Despite it though, Jaime gave a kind smile, “It  _ could  _ get us somewhere. I’ll go get a list of names.”

He bounded down the staircase surprisingly fast. Dru started rounding the perimeter of the roof, looking over the edges, observing the buildings that enclosed the bar. Kit left Ty’s side to pretend he was seeking some sort of clue, but really, it was just not to appear suspicious.

Lyle followed him, looking at Kit skeptively. “Trouble in paradise?”

“For me, there is no paradise,” Kit replied. He didn’t mean to sound like a melancholy poet, but that’s exactly how it came out. “Why do you ask?”

“You look worried,” Lyle replied. “Like you’ve just broken out of prison.”

“I’m tired,” Kit admitted. “I slept most of the day and I’m still tired.”   


Lyle looked at him sympathetically. “Tired as in Shadowhunter tired or emotionally tired?”

“Both.”

Kit felt the strain in his shoulders, whether from metaphorical weight or from the result of lost energy. There was nothing more he wanted to do then leave the rooftop and walk through the vacant alleyways of LA, forgetting his problems.

“How’s your situation going?”

“I think it’s fairly obvious how  _ not  _ good it’s going,” Kit didn’t try to make himself sound particularly smart. “We’re not getting anywhere… So far we’re investigating different attack sites but we, to my knowledge, aren’t learning anything from them.”

It was easier to lie to people that were nearly strangers. Kit could effortlessly pretend he was in the same position as the rest of the LA Institute; attempting to get to the root of the investigation.

“That wasn’t what I was talking about,” Lyle said.

Kit wasn’t sure what he meant. “Then what  _ were _ you talking about?”

“You and-,” Lyle paused to nod his head over Kit’s shoulder. Kit turned to lay his attention on Ty, who was focused intently on the streets of Los Angeles; soaking in the colors and lights. “Him.”

“Ty?” Kit asked. He didn’t know why it came out like a question because he had no doubt it was exactly who Lyle was talking about.

He nodded.

“I-“ Kit had no idea how to answer. Why was Lyle even asking? “Why? It’s none of your business.”

“True,” Lyle grinned, like he knew it didn’t matter and wanted to get under Kit’s skin. “I was just trying to make conversation.”

Kit sneered. “Well go ‘make conversation’ with someone else. Preferably downstairs.”

Kit had hoped Lyle would do exactly as he suggested and leave the roof, but instead he smiled, almost as if Kit had given him a compliment.

Kit wanted to gag. He wasn’t sure if he was feeling nauseous from Lyle, from the pretending about the investigation, or the memory of the shower comment he had made earlier to Ty.

The cruel joke of it was that Kit could say lines like that- lines  _ worse _ than that- to strangers and think nothing of it; but with the one person he  _ did _ want, it suddenly felt like he was burning from the inside out.

Before Kit had to listen to anything else that Lyle had to say, thank the Angel, Jaime arrived back on the roof. He had a printed list of names in one hand, which he was waving meaningfully in the air.

“That was quick,” Kit said.

Jaime grinned. “Nothing my charm couldn’t get done.”

Dru snickered. “Okay, Jaime. You can tone down on the encouragement of yourself.”

Jaime replied with something Kit couldn’t hear. Lyle had backed away from Kit, sensing his bitterness, and had joined Jaime and Dru near the paper.

Kit sighed in relief, before coming to stand beside Ty. He was blinking back sleep from his eyes, which recently seemed like something he was doing a lot of.

“I think I’m heading back to the Institute,” Kit admitted. “You want to come?”

Ty shook his head. “I think I’m going to stay and look at the city a little longer.”

Kit nodded, turning to tell Dru, Jaime, and Lyle about his tiredness when Ty stopped him.

“Kit,” Ty said softly. “If it’s not too much to ask, could you... Could you sleep on the couch again? I know you did last night but...”

“Yeah,” Kit responded quickly. “Course I will.”

Because wouldn’t it always be yes when it came to Ty?

“It helps,” Ty said. “It helps when you’re there.”

Kit didn’t know why Ty felt the need to say anything in defense, but he didn’t ask. Instead he smiled, because he didn’t know how to respond.

When he left the roof a few minutes later, the nighttime air was warmer than before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took way to long to upload but I was suffering from SEVERE writer's block. I hope you all have a great weekend and next chapter should be Monday or Tuesday.


	14. Nightmares and Dreams

Livvy was bright with life and color; her cheeks were pink and her body shook when she laughed, a sign of her aliveness. Ty was beside her, smiling at something Livvy had said.

Kit was facing the twins, struggling to hear what the two were saying. They were standing a short distance from him, but it was like an invisible wall separated him from them; leaving him unable to hear anything the two said.

“Livvy,” Kit said, raising his voice. “Ty?”

They didn’t seem to hear him. Kit watched as their mouths continued in a conversation he couldn’t identify. As strange as it was, he felt like this had happened before… It seemed oddly familiar. A rush of fear crawled over Kit, both from the inability of his memory and his confusion at the situation.

And then it happened.

Kit felt his whole body swelling with darkness. Instead of the world turning hot or cold, it became nothing at all. Kit couldn’t feel the air or the temperature or his heartbeat. The world seemed to be sucked from around him, leaving him alone with heavy dizziness.

And from the haze, came the anger. Unlike anything he had ever felt before. Everything became colored in burning shades of  _ fury _ . The worst part of it was, Kit couldn’t control it. The emotion powered his entire being, leaving nothing else in its path.

Kit tried to gesture to Livvy and Ty but found that he was unable to move his arm. After discovering this, he attempted to speak, but just as before, nothing happened. It was as though he was a passenger in his own body.

The curdling anger within him began to take shape of its own, swirling through his veins. It wasn’t possible that an emotion could  _ travel  _ through his bloodstream, yet, it was the best way to describe what seemed to be happening.

_ Help,  _ Kit thought and thought and thought, but nothing came out of his mouth.

Then, the uncontrollable force began to power his actions. Kit watched, horrified, as his feet moved without his consent. He drew closer and closer toward Livvy and Ty who still hadn’t noticed him. They were each turned toward each other, eyes locked.

From the deepest part of his mind, Kit remembered why this scene seemed so familiar. Because it had happened hundreds of times, no matter how hard he tried to escape it.

_ No,  _ Kit thought.  _ Not again. _

He saw his arms raise in the air. Instead of looking like they usually did, runed and scarred, they were blurred in his vision. His runes were no longer inked on his arms which was unusual enough as it was.

Finally, Livvy and Ty turned to him. Livvy’s blue-green eyes widened, darkening with confusion. The noise surged back to Kit just as Livvy said, “Kit? Are you okay? Kit, what are you doing?”

It was the same line every time.

Ty was looking at him with the same puzzled expression as Livvy. Something about the way Ty was staring at Kit made the wild part of him even darker. Kit’s body was shadows and rage, but the remaining part of him that he had left was pure fear. Fear as to what would happen next.

“Kit?” Livvy asked again. She was surveying Kit’s raised arms, looking quickly between the two of them.

Although Kit knew what was going to occur next, it didn’t make anything less awful.

Kit’s left hand clutched around Livvy’s throat, his fingers splaying to where her pulse beat fast. She gasped for air, her eyes searched his with a question.

_ This isn’t real,  _ Kit told himself.  _ Livvy’s not alive. There’s no way this could be happening. _

But the skin on her throat felt real enough, the terror in her eyes was authentic, everything about her left no indication that she wasn’t alive. Ty stood still next to the two of them; unable to do anything but stare.

Kit did everything in his power to stop himself, but it was no use. The shadow within him clenched Livvy’s neck, unable to let go until she was nothing more than a wilted flower in his grasp. He watched as she struggled for air, blinking at him with panic.

It was violent in the worst manner. Kit had no function of his body and he couldn’t tear his eyes from her pale face. He had to watch. He had to watch as her eyes blackened and her breath stopped and the life ran out of her. His doing.

Kit yelled from whatever state of unawareness he was in, willing himself to stop. He had thought that having the same dream over and over would eventually make it easier. Not good, but at least  _ bearable  _ to watch. However, it seemed like each time it was worse.

Watching someone die… Watching them die continuously…

From the semi-lucid side of his mind, he understood what Ty had been saying a day earlier,  _ ‘I can’t lose her again. If I lose Livvy…” _

Kit shook off the thought. Returning his attention to his hands around Livvy’s throat, draining the life out of her. It always took a few minutes for it to end. Torture. Every second of it was like scalding knives were being pushed into Kit and it never  _ ended. _

Surprisingly, Ty began to talk from beside Livvy’s half-lifeless body. If Kit could have controlled his movements, he would have blinked at Ty in shock. The dream always repeated itself down to every detail and Ty didn’t speak the entire time. He never said a single word.

But he was talking now.

“Kit,” Ty was saying. His voice was hoarse with distress, Ty had always had a deep voice but it was like he had just woken up, which couldn’t have been right. Then again, nothing about this made sense. Ty never spoke in Kit’s dreams… And the closer Kit looked it seemed like Ty’s lips weren’t matching directly to his voice. His words came first and his movements followed. “Kit, it’s fine. You’re fine. I’m here.”

Kit desperately wanted to respond but he couldn’t.

“I’m here,” Ty repeated. “Just… Just wake up.”

Wake up.

_ Wake up,  _ Kit thought. If dream-Ty was a figure of his imagination then he must have been a replica of Kit’s conscience. Telling him to wake up and abandon the violent dream that had repeated in his mind every few months or so… Becoming more and more spaced out as time went on. Kit had never woken up before Livvy and Ty were nothing more than curled lifeless bodies sprawled at his feet… But Ty had also never spoken.

“Wake up,” Ty said again. “Wake up.”

And Kit did.

Kit imagined he’d wake up to the familiar silence and comfort of his own bed, as he usually did. Whenever Kit finished his nightmares he would find himself waking to a frenzied state; sweat and rustled sheets and unruly hair. Also, he was always alone. It didn’t matter if he had a forgetful hookup beside him, they were always asleep. Which left Kit to walk through the lonely halls of the Institute, head to the rooftop, or lay back down to try to still his racing heartbeat.

This time was different. Although he still had the same nightmare symptoms, he certainly wasn’t alone.

The first thing Kit noticed when he blinked open his eyes was the darkness in the room. The room was bathed in deep shades of ebony. His earlier rune for night-vision had faded, leaving him eclipsed in blackness.

Still laying down, Kit could feel the new material of leather beneath him. It served as a reminder that he was on the couch in Ty’s room. He had fallen asleep quickly when he had returned, alone, to the Institute.

Kit’s pulse was racing beneath the blankets on top of him, a reminder of the nightmare. In the back of his mind, he could see flashes of Livvy’s fearful eyes and his hands and the sound of Ty’s voice. Typically, Kit would have already rushed out of the room and began to stalk the hallways until the nightmare was nothing but an echoing sound in his mind. But, he didn’t want to risk waking Ty.

Kit sat upright, trying to make out something,  _ anything  _ in the darkness surrounding him. If he could dodge the furniture in the room he could easily slip out the door… But first, he had to  _ see  _ the objects and if he tripped then it would make a huge noise so…

Kit turned his head to look to where he knew the doorway was and crashed it with another surface. A very  _ alive  _ surface.

As a result of the impact, Kit flung his head backward. “Shit,  _ ow.” _

“Kit, are you okay?”

Ty’s voice, coming from right next to him. Kit couldn’t see him, but he knew he was close… Kneeling somewhere next to the couch. Kit brought a hand to cradle his forehead, reaching the other hand to find Ty in the dark.

“I’m fine.” And Kit  _ was  _ fine, if you overlooked his disheveled state and aching head. He breathed a sigh of relief when his hand grasped the sleeve of Ty’s shirt blindly. He was closer then Kit had thought, close to Kit’s shoulder.

“Sorry,” Kit said quickly, withdrawing his hand. His voice was shaking, an aftereffect from his dream. “Did I wake you up?”

Kit couldn’t see Ty’s expression in the dark, but when Ty answered, he sounded worried. “I heard you calling out in your sleep… I didn’t know if I was supposed to wake you up or not but… Is everything alright? Was it a nightmare?”

Kit was glad Ty couldn’t see him in the dark. Kit probably looked ragged, as he always did after having the torturous nightmare. From where his hand was holding his forehead, he could feel dried tears against his wrist. It wasn’t often that he cried after nightmares, but he often woke to unfallen teardrops in his eyes.

“It’s okay. It was a nightmare but I’m good now.” Kit didn’t want to tell Ty about the dream. He had already talked about it once and he had completely broken down the last time. It was the middle of the night and he didn’t want to keep Ty up with his problems. Not when Ty had so many other things to worry about.

“I thought we weren’t lying to each other anymore,” Ty breathed. “I  _ know  _ you. I can tell that you’re upset.”

Kit shivered, pulling a blanket toward his torso. “I’m…”

“Is it okay if I put the lights on?” Ty asked. “So I can see you?”

“Yeah,” Kit answered. If he was more awake, he would have attempted to wipe the tears from his eyes and appear at least  _ slightly  _ put together… But what was the point? Ty knew him better than anyone and never passed judgment. They had each seen each other in misery multiple times and they never did anything more than try to comfort the other.

Witchlight flared throughout the room. Kit flinched at the brightness but it quickly fell away into normalcy. Ty sat on the floor, looking up at Kit from under his messy hair. Kit knew he was trying to give him space… Sometimes distance was the equivalent of an affectionate touch.

Ty didn’t comment on Kit’s unkempt appearance. His gaze was steady, lingering on Kit’s jaw. Kit sensed that Ty was waiting for Kit to say something first.

“I-” Kit began, leaning back into the couch. “I don’t usually have nightmares this frequently. Usually it’s every few months or so… On the rare occasion maybe once a month. But, this one happened less than two weeks ago.”

Ty’s fingers were fiddling with the strings of his sweatshirt, looping the cords around his thumbs. “I’ve read that dreams can be connected to stress. Do you think that’s what it is?”

“I don’t know,” Kit rubbed his eyelids. “It could be.”

A pause. And then, “It could help to talk to me.”

“About the dream?”

“Yes, about the dream.”

Kit shifted uncomfortably. Images of the nightmare returned in cycles through his vision. Strangely, talking about it made Kit feel  _ worse.  _ Typically, if he kept the memories to himself, he could forget about them quickly. The habit of doing so was as easy as locking a window. Kit was so used to caging in the horrible dreams, it had made talking about them even harder. Now, Kit understood what Ty had been telling him on the beach the day before.  _ “Pushing me away. I think it’s some kind of coping mechanism for you. You never encounter things head-on. I think that’s why you drink and go out all the time… Because you’re afraid.” _

Just as he struggled to push his feelings for Ty away, he was also pushing the nightmares away. His inability to face what they  _ meant  _ showed just how much Kit couldn’t stand up to his own issues.

Kit took a deep breath. Timidly, he explained the dream, just as he had before to Ty. Unlike the time before, he went into more detail… Telling Ty about the violence and the anger and the all-encompassing fear. Ty listened to him the entire time, not interrupting.

When Kit finished, he lowered his gaze to where Ty was absorbing his words. “What do you think it means?”

Ty was silent for a moment, thinking.

“I know that you said on the boat that it’s just a dream…” Kit began. “But I can’t help thinking…”

Ty glanced up at him, skimming his eyes over Kit. “Thinking what?”

“What if it’s more than that?”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know. It’s just… It can’t mean  _ nothing. _ Not when I have it all the time. Not when it makes me feel like,” Kit motioned to himself. “This.”

One of Ty’s hands was twitching at his sides. “So… You think it’s…? Real? A vision?”

“No,” Kit pried his eyes from Ty’s puzzled expression. “That wouldn’t make sense. Livvy’s not… Livvy’s not alive so it couldn’t be.”

Ty relaxed, blinking up at Kit tiredly. “Do you want to know what I think?”

“What do you think?” Kit couldn’t help but give Ty a small smile. The way Ty was sitting on the floor made him look softer than usual, whether that was an accurate description or not. Instead of his usual sharp black-and-white, he was colored in greys and blues from the witchlight.

“I think you feel like you don’t have control of anything around you,” Ty explained. “You can’t control this thing that’s going on with Livvy. You couldn’t control when she died… Neither of us could control how she came back the way she did…”

Kit took in Ty’s words.

“We can’t control the future,” Ty finalized. “In the dream, you can’t control your actions. But Kit… You’re not  _ alone  _ in feeling that way. I wish I could figure everything out too… But sometimes… Sometimes we just  _ can’t.” _

“Does that mean…?” Kit trailed off, unsure what he wanted to say.

“I want to figure out how to bring Livvy here without any risks. No demonic energy, not a beacon for demons…” Ty stated.

“Didn’t you just say that things don’t always work out the way we want them too?”

Ty sighed. “I did, and I  _ meant  _ it. But when it comes to Livvy… If we don’t at least try…”

Ty looked at the floor, rambling a series of sentences that Kit couldn’t make out. Kit didn’t need him to finish, he understood.

Kit tried to seem as casual as possible. “Do you have a plan?”

“I,” Ty cleared his throat. “It’s complicated. I don’t know how to fix Livvy because I don’t know why what’s happening to her is happening.”

Kit didn’t know either. How were they supposed to figure out something they didn’t completely understand themselves?

“What if we find someone who  _ does  _ know?” Kit asked.

Ty’s posture changed, becoming sharper in a startling way. “No. We’re not going to concern anyone else with this… Not warlocks, not any other Shadowhunters, not my family. I don’t want to risk anyone getting hurt because of this.”

“You’re worried about our Marks getting stripped.” Kit recalled Ty’s panicked expression on the beach when the realization of the danger the situation brought had settled in. Now, sitting on the floor, Ty had the same worry painted over his features.

“Yes, but it’s not just that. If my family finds out what  _ I  _ did… What the consequences are to it…” Ty swallowed. Kit watched Ty’s eyes close, almost as if talking blindly cleared the fear from his mind. “They’d be horrified. They’d be horrified at  _ me. _ ”

Kit desperately wanted to reach out and give a comforting tap on Ty’s shoulder, but refrained. He didn’t want to startle Ty when his eyes were shut. Something about the tone Ty was talking in made fear rise within Kit. Family was one of the most important things to Ty. Kit didn’t know what it meant that he was doubting his family’s devotion for him.

“Your family loves you. I know you know that,” Kit said. “I’m not trying to say they wouldn’t be shocked by the news but… If you’re worried about them being angry at you, then you shouldn’t be. I think they would understand. I think out of  _ everyone  _ they would be the ones to understand the  _ most. _ ”

Ty opened his eyes, tilting his head to look at Kit from the awkward angle. “You’re right, I know. Still, I don’t want them to get caught up in this. If they get blamed in any way… I don’t think I’ll be able to handle it.”

“Okay,” Kit replied. “Well if you don’t want to involve anyone with this then what’s our next step?”

“I don’t want to involve anyone  _ directly, _ ” Ty specified. “No details.”

“Got it.”

“As for what we should do,” Ty continued. “We need to research.”

“Research?” Kit fought the urge to laugh.

Ty noticed the humor in Kit’s features and frowned. “Yes, research. See if we can find anything about demonic energy… How to get rid of it. Why do you think that’s funny?”

“It’s not funny,” Kit clarified. He wasn’t sure if the idea of research had become so familiar that it had started to seem like a joke. “It’s just that it seems like our go too strategy for  _ everything  _ is researching.”

Ty, despite the blandness of the conversation, was smiling. “Can you think of anything else that might help us and does  _ not  _ involve other people?”

Kit grinned back at him. “No. I think you’re right. I’m just not looking forward to looking through hundreds of books.”

“You’re lazy,” Ty said, eyes shining.

“I am,” Kit agreed. “But I don’t have any other ideas so researching it is.”

“We’ll start tomorrow,” Ty said, more to himself than to Kit. He was looking around the room now, taking in the organization and colors.

Kit hesitated. “Ty… Thank you.”

Ty returned his attention to Kit, processing. “For what?”

“Waking up,” Kit explained. “Talking to me when you could have easily fallen back asleep… Making sure I was okay.”

“Of course,” Ty replied. “You don’t have to thank me every time I do something nice though.”

Kit raised an eyebrow. “Are you going to follow that up by saying that then I’d be thanking you all the time? Because, that’s something  _ I  _ would say. Not you.”

“No,” Ty laughed. “I care about you, is what I mean. If I ever thought you were upset I’d try to make sure you were fine. No matter what. And I hope… I  _ know  _ that you’d do the same for me.”

Kit blinked. “Oh.”

He didn’t know if Ty noticed Kit’s bewildered expression.

“Oh?” Ty questioned. He was looking at Kit strangely, like he expected him to say something else.

“I,” Kit began. “Yeah, me too.”

Ty laughed again, surprising Kit. “Am I keeping you up?”

“What?” Kit startled, caught off guard. “No. No, I’m awake. I’m great. Why? Do I look tired?”

He discovered he  _ was, _ in fact, energized. It was hard to imagine he had been sleeping only minutes before.

“It  _ is _ the middle of the night,” Ty pointed out. “And no, you just don’t look focused.”

Kit didn’t disagree. His mind was fogged but not from tiredness. He wasn’t sure why, but he found that he didn’t know what to say to Ty, this late at night, when they were on different heights. It was strange, looking down at Ty. Kit was so used to looking up at him because of their slight height difference, but now Ty was the one raising his head upward.

“Sorry,” Kit apologized. When Ty didn’t respond right away, Kit decided to change the subject. “How was the rest of the time at the bar earlier?”

One of Ty’s hands came to his side, skimming across the floor. “It was fine. Boring without you, but fine.”

“I’m guessing they didn’t find anything else?”

“No. Jaime thought he found something important, but it ended up being rotten food.”

“And Dru?”

“I could tell she was disappointed when nothing turned up. Tomorrow they’re going to call the people at the bar using the list of names we got.”

Kit nodded. “How was the city?”

“The city?”

“You were looking at the city when I left,” Kit reminded him.

Ty brightened. “It was calming, actually. Usually it’s loud but it wasn’t tonight.”

Kit was glad that Ty got to enjoy something that he typically shied away from. The majority of the time Ty would wear his headphones in large crowds. However, even in disclosed areas such as the roof, being surrounded by noises of the city often made him uncomfortable.

“What were you and that guy talking about?” Ty asked suddenly.

“Hmm?”

“What’s his name? Lyle?” Ty asked. “I saw you talking to him and I was just wondering…”

Kit’s eyes widened. He searched his mind for some recollection of the conversation but it had seemed so short and unimportant that he couldn’t remember any details of it.

Sensing Kit’s hesitation, Ty looked to the floor. “Never mind. It’s none of my business.”

“I honestly don’t even remember what he said to me,” Kit continued anyway. “He didn’t ask me about the attack or why we didn’t mention it to Dru or Jaime… If that’s what you’re asking.”

“Good,” Ty replied, shoulders relaxing. And then, “Kit could I ask you something?”

“Yeah, anything.”

“Are you…” Ty was frowning at the floor, confusion written on his face.

Kit waited.

Ty shifted. “I don’t know what I was going to say.”

Kit smiled at Ty’s perplexed look. “Maybe  _ you’re  _ the tired one.”

“Maybe,” Ty answered. He looked up, witchlight illuminating his face. “I didn’t get much sleep before I heard you yelling out. Maybe an hour or two of it.”

“You can go back to sleep if you want,” Kit said. “You don’t need my permission.”

“You’re sure? You already said you’re not tired and if you need the company…”

“Ty,” Kit said. “I think I can manage.”

Ty didn’t look convinced.

“Besides,” Kit advanced. “The floor doesn’t look very comfortable.”

“It isn’t,” Ty admitted. “But if you don’t want me too then-”

“Ty, I’ll be fine,” Kit assured. “You’re acting like I’m a toddler.”

Ty got to his feet, eyeing Kit skeptically. “In a way you sort of-”

“Don’t finish that sentence,” Kit said before Ty could say anything else.

Ty grinned. “Okay. Do you want something to read? I could give you a book…”

“A book?”

“Yes, a  _ book, _ ” Ty scowled.

“You want to give me a book?”

Ty headed to the color-coded bookshelf in his room. “I’m giving you a book.”

Kit didn’t argue. Ty scanned the dozens of bookbindings thoughtfully before pulling a plain book out of the shelves. Turning back to Kit, Ty held the book in front of him.

“Where’s the cover?” Kit questioned.

“This  _ is _ the cover,” Ty stated.

The book was a bland brown color, with nothing on the front except for a single word written in a language Kit had never seen before. It didn’t look anything like the other bright-colored novels around Ty’s room.

“There’s nothing  _ on  _ the cover!”

Ty handed the book to Kit, throwing him a suspicious look. “If this is your way of not reading it then you’re not getting away with it. It’s a good book, I promise. It’s short too. You could read it in a day.”

_ “You  _ could probably read it in a day. This might take me a year!”

“You’ll like it,” Ty promised. “Trust me, you’re not going to be able to put it down.”

“If there was anybody else telling me to read this but you Ty-”

“Nightlight,” Ty interrupted, tossing the object to Kit.

Ty crossed the room, snapping the witchlight off. Kit turned the nightlight on so he could get a closer look at the front of the book.

“What does the title mean?”

“You’ll find out,” Ty responded, climbing into his bed.

Kit sighed. “Well what’s it about?”

Ty’s sharp response filtered back to him. “Just read it.”

After a few moments of observing the front cover, Kit flipped the book open and began to read.

He found that he  _ did  _ enjoy it as the pages continued on. It was an adventure story; following a set of multiple characters each with completely different storylines. The only problem was that the author seemed to be a walking dictionary; sprouting words that Kit had no definition of.

The first time it was, “Ty, what does ‘panivorous’ mean?”

Ty’s low response came back a second later.

And then after that, “What about ‘stridulate’?”

Ty sighed, but answered regardless.

After six more questions, Ty pushed himself up to his elbows. “Kit, you don’t need to know what  _ every  _ word means.”

“I do if it helps me understand the book,” Kit retorted.

Ty might have laughed but Kit couldn’t have been sure.

It was only two questions after that when Kit asked something Ty didn’t answer.

“Skip it,” Ty said.

Kit heard the tiredness in Ty’s voice and replied, “Last one, I promise.”

“You’re helpless.”

“Ty.”

He saw Ty’s frame shift. “I don’t know.”

“You don’t know…?”

“I don’t know what the word means,” Ty responded.

“You don’t know what the word means,” Kit echoed. “Holy shit. Are you serious?”

Ty peered at him from the other side of the room. “Don’t sound so shocked.”

Despite that, Kit beamed. “Thank the Angel. If  _ you  _ don’t even know what this means then I’m not as dense as I thought.”

“I thought you were going to let me sleep,” Ty said.

Kit grinned. “I was until you gave me the book with the hardest vocabulary I’ve ever seen.”

“But you like it,” Ty said.

“I never said that,” Kit replied stubbornly.

“Then why are you still reading it?”

Kit didn’t have an answer.

Ty was silent for a moment before he said, “Come here.”

Kit stilled. “Why?”

“I want to see the word.”

Kit almost laughed, but he complied, pushing himself off the couch and using the nightlight to guide him successfully to Ty’s bed.

Ty was a shadow against the blankets. Kit didn’t know where his hair started and the darkness began. Ty drowsily leaned against the headboard as Kit handed him the book, pointing the unknown word to Ty.

“Know it?” Kit asked.

“No,” Ty whispered.

Kit reached for the book, ready to retreat to the couch but Ty didn’t hand him the novel.

“Ty?” Kit murmured.

“Lay next to me,” Ty replied, so softly Kit wasn’t sure he had imagined it.

“You want me to… What?”

Ty paused, turning to look at Kit. “I don’t want you to keep yelling things across the room.”

“I already said I wouldn’t do that,” Kit responded, feeling slightly winded.

“Just sit here,” Ty gestured to the space beside him. “Then you don’t have to yell. You can point at the words.”

“That doesn’t make any sense. I’ll just stop reading for now so you can sleep.”

Kit moved to grab for the book but once again Ty didn’t let go.

“Kit, it’s fine. Just read right here.”

“I don’t think that’s necessary.” Kit didn’t know if Ty was ignoring Kit’s uncomfortable body language or if he simply didn’t notice it.

“I’m confused,” Ty said. “Didn’t you just say that you wanted to know all the complicated words if you’re going to read? Won’t it be easier if you’re right next to me?”

“I…” Kit stumbled over possible words. “I don’t need to read anymore. It’s fine.”

He could barely see Ty’s eyes in the dim light. “Kit-”

“Besides I don’t want to accidentally fall asleep,” Kit continued. “That would be awkward.”

“Why would it be awkward?” Ty asked. “It’s me.”

“It’s,” Kit began but abruptly cut off, unable to finish.

Ty set the book next to him, a strict expression on his face. “Sit down.”

Kit gave him a baffled look. “Are you  _ forcing  _ me?”

At that, Ty’s features softened; half-worried, half-apologetic. “No, no of course not. Sorry, I was trying to… I don’t know.”

Ty seemed to curl into himself. Upon realizing that Ty was hurt at his question, shame spiraled in Kit. How was it that something as simple as a book could invoke a series of dramatic actions from the two of them. Why was it that Kit was protesting at a completely  _ innocent  _ gesture? And even worse, Ty felt like he was being forceful because Kit was being crude.

“I’m making way too big of a deal about this,” Kit admitted.

Ty looked up, shielded by darkness. “I am too.”

Kit laughed. “How is it that we’re constantly faced with a bunch of shit yet we’re arguing about a fucking book.”

“We’re not arguing,” Ty said.

“Fine,” Kit replied. “We’re…  _ bickering? _ ”

“Disagreeing,” Ty settled. “So are you going to come next to me or not?”

“I am,” Kit complied, moving toward the other side of the bed. “But only because you want me too.”

“Liar.”

Kit brushed off Ty’s comment, focusing on navigating around the bed frame. When he circled the space he uncertainly lowered himself onto the mattress, shifting as far to the other side of the bed as possible. Ty gave him an odd look but didn’t remark on the space Kit had put between them.

“Tomorrow I’m getting a dictionary so I can get through this book without your help,” Kit said, picking the book up and adjusting the nightlight.

“We’re researching tomorrow, remember?”

“How could I forget?”

When Ty didn’t respond, Kit opened his book and started where he left off. **  
**

It was easy to imagine that Ty wasn’t laying next to him as Kit read page after page. Kit skipped over certain words that he didn’t know the meaning of, as to not annoy Ty with his constant questioning.

After a while, he was halfway through the book. The plot of the story had taken an entirely different route than he had originally thought and he had to take a break in order to regain his thought process.

Looking at the ceiling, Kit took a deep breath. He wasn’t sure how much time had passed but it seemed to be anywhere from forty minutes to an hour.

He could faintly hear Ty’s steady breaths from next to him and hazily make out his dark outline beneath the blankets. Kit wasn’t sure if he was awake or not. Kit debated whether or not to head back to the couch and risk waking Ty up or to stay silent and continue reading.

But he  _ wasn’t  _ sleeping in Ty’s bed and he had to get back sooner than later.

“Ty?” Kit whispered, almost positive that he wouldn’t get a response. “Ty, are you awake?”

Kit watched Ty turn over, sleepily blinking his eyes.

“Hmm?” Ty mumbled. Exhaustion emanated from his voice. His eyes were heavily lidded and he looked so out of it that it made Kit’s heart clench.

Kit hadn’t planned what to say if Ty answered him. Thinking quickly, he opened his book and picked out a long word on the page. “What does this mean?”

Ty drowsily inched over to Kit, eyeing the open page. He lowered his head so his hair touched the tip of Kit’s ear, inspecting the unknown word. He was so close Kit could hardly breathe.

“Don’t know,” Ty breathed more than said.

Kit felt himself flush at Ty’s closeness.

Ty sank back into the mattress, like he was a feather falling to the floor. Kit was leaning against the headboard so when Ty returned to lying down he was below him. Ty didn’t bother to move back toward his own side of the bed, leaving his head resting against Kit’s forearm and his arm touching Kit’s side. Ty’s eyes feathered shut before Kit could say anything else.

“Ty,” Kit said softly. “I think I’m going to the couch, okay?”

Kit didn’t think he could stand being this close to Ty. He wasn’t sure if he was breathing correctly.

As a response to Kit’s statement, Ty nuzzled his forehead against Kit’s lower bicep. “You’re warm.”

“I’m also leaving,” Kit replied shakily.

“Just,” Ty mumbled. “Just stay here for a little bit longer.”

“Ty-”

Ty said something else but it was lost with the low volume of his voice. Kit was suspended in time; half focusing on the contact with Ty, half on the chaos in his mind.

Kit nudged Ty with his opposite arm. “I’m getting up now.”

“Don’t.”

Kit was frozen in his semi-upright position, unsure if he should continue reading until Ty fell asleep or to get off the bed and return to the couch.

Ty breaths dimmed to a slow, rhythmic pattern quickly. Kit envied him for being able to fall asleep so fast. Kit had passed out enough times in the past two weeks that his sleep schedule was severely fucked up.

Kit, ultimately deciding to read again, directed his attention to the book.

Five minutes later, still on the exact same paragraph as he had been when he started, he closed the book. Kit couldn’t focus; his mind was a room full of mirrors.

Kit kept the nightlight on for a moment. Having the light, however dim, was like seeing a lighthouse at night. With it on, he could hold it together. It was a metaphorical restraint. But as soon as the light turned off, he came crashing back into the world of nightmares and being afraid to want what he wanted.

Or maybe it didn’t matter whether the light was on or off. Maybe Kit just  _ was. _

He cast the nightlight aside and the room was swallowed into nothingness.

Kit knew, he  _ knew  _ that he should go back to the couch because  _ this  _ was the situation he had tried to avoid this whole time; Ty next to him and him next to Ty.

But there were worse things.

Kit allowed himself to lay down, Ty pressed against him. Because was there anything wrong with it? There wasn’t, and Kit was going to stop letting himself think there was. A wall falling, a gate opening…

Ty’s bed was soft, softer than Kit’s own.

Kit let himself relax. No more tension or thoughts or  _ anything _ . Focusing on Ty’s slow breathing until Kit was lost in the stage between dreaming and sleeping, following abstract colors and shapes.

It was the best he had slept in a long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot to save almost half of this when I was writing so that's why I'm updating so late :/ Anyway, haha, I apologize for the dialogue in this chapter (towards the end, mostly) I just KNEW I wanted Kit to *ahem* sleep and sleep ONLY in Ty's bed and the book-thing was the way I did that so that's why it kinda seems forced but OH WELL! Anyway, thanks for reading as always :) Have a wonderful day/night!


	15. From Blue to Grey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TY’S PERSPECTIVE

Arms and legs and skin.

Ty opened his eyes, not moving. His attention landed on pale hair, curled, close enough that Ty would only have to lean forward a little more to feel it against his nose. Warmth was everywhere; not from blankets, Ty realized, but from radiating body heat.

It took Ty a moment to adjust to his surroundings, remembering where he was and who he was with.

Kit. _Kit._

It seemed that they had tangled themselves together during the night. Kit was lower, his head pressed against Ty’s neck. From there, Ty could feel the soft breaths against his throat. One of Kit’s arms was thrown across Ty’s chest, limp and soft. Their legs were entwined, so much that Ty couldn’t tell which were Kit’s and which were his own.

They were close enough that Ty could feel when Kit inhaled and exhaled. Kit was soft against him, relaxed muscles, no hint of the ongoing stress that was usually there. And yes, Ty knew that Kit had tension in him. It was the same strain that he had been feeling lately. The taunt emotion that came over him whenever he thought about Livvy… About demons and lying…

About other things that he was still trying to figure out.

Ty had read that during sleep, the body relaxed itself, draining the restlessness from it. He had also read that it made breathing slower, given that the airway in the throat became smaller. Both of these signs pointed to the fact that Kit was still asleep; with his casual limbs and light breathing.

Just as Ty had been thinking that, Kit made a light noise, arching his back so his chest carved itself against Ty. When he relaxed again, Ty could feel Kit’s nose resting against his collarbone, from where his sweatshirt had slid down slightly.

Something about the unintentional placement had Ty flashing back to nights before, when they had gotten back from capturing the sea demon.

Ty remembered stopping Magnus before he had left the Institute, about to return to Alec, Rafe, and Max. As much as Magnus was a personal friend of the Blackthorns, Ty had still felt bad withholding him from his family.

But Ty had been going insane the past couple of days and he had to find relief from the constant questioning in his mind. When he was younger, Julian had told him that his mind worked in questions and answers… And uncertainty, Ty had found, wasn’t something that was easy for him.

In the end, it was that uncertainty that prompted him to ask Magnus to show him his memories. Not the way he remembered things that night at the warlock’s mansion; blurs of lips and blonde hair, but the way that it was _,_ without the taint of warlock-induced alcohol blocking his memory.

Something as simple as a kiss, wouldn’t matter to most people. Especially not when it was with someone you potentially didn’t know.

And Ty knew that. He knew it and tried to push it away, to forget about it.

But he couldn’t.

Displays of affection, whether they meant anything or not, had always been important to Ty. And with it being his first… His first _anything_ like _that,_ it felt like he had to know. Had to know how it happened and who it was with. Whether it was a stranger or someone he knew.

What made it worse was that Ty was angry with himself for wanting to find out. He remembered thinking to himself, why couldn’t he do things like that and not care? Why couldn’t he forget about it and move on? Why couldn’t he be normal like Kit and be with whoever and do whatever and-

And then he felt even worse about thinking things like that. His whole life he had been telling himself, _teaching_ himself, not to compare his needs to those of other people. It didn’t matter whether he felt like he needed an explanation, he decided. Ty knew that for _himself,_ he needed to know.

And then Magnus revealed his memories and he regretted knowing.

Not that the problem was Kit, not at all. Briefly, Ty remembered the sensation of Kit’s mouth against his own and then forgot it just as quickly, moving it away. It had been… Great. It had been perfect and nice but that wasn’t the problem.

The problem was that Kit had _known-_ being one of the closest people to Ty- what that had meant for him and had lied about it. Treated it like it didn’t matter, and maybe he didn’t think it did but-

Now, Ty took a deep breath. He didn’t know if, under different circumstances, he even would have been upset at Kit in the first place. At first; he had been hurt and angry; both at the mixture of Kit lying, as well that he didn’t seem to care that it had happened.

But then they had talked on the beach and things had settled themselves out. Ty wasn’t bitter about it. Compared to the constant danger of life as a Shadowhunter, it hardly meant anything. Especially not with the added stress of Livvy and the investigation and lying to his family. He shouldn’t keep thinking about it; the kiss.

Except he did, or he would have, if he didn’t have so much else to worry about.

Kit was the only person who knew what he was going through, and having him here, right now, next to him, it was like the air, which was constantly hazy and thick, had finally cleared. Ty felt comfort in Kit the way he only did with his family. Kit had never failed to relax him, to make him feel like whatever other people thought didn’t matter, to level his worry with humor. It had always been easy with Kit. Ty never felt anything other than immense friendship and warmth. But then again, recently-

Kit moved again, curling his other arm (the one that wasn’t wrapped around Ty) beneath his head. The movement brought him closer, to the point where Ty would only have to lean forward to touch his forehead.

It was unfamiliar, having Kit this close for such a long time. The night before, Ty had convinced Kit to lay next to him, and Ty had been surprised when Kit stayed. There was something unexplainably _nice_ about it, Ty couldn’t say what it was except that he liked it; being like this, close to Kit, not worrying for a moment.

Ty wasn’t sure what time it was, but he knew that he would have to wake up Kit eventually to head downstairs. Ty planned to research in the library until he found _something, anything_ that would help Livvy. That would help Livvy come back to him, no demonic energy involved.

Until then, he wouldn’t think about it. As much as Ty was desperate to find facts, it could wait a moment.

Next to him, Kit stirred again, his eyelids slightly moving but not quite opening. Ty found himself wondering how many people had seen him wake up like this- girl or guy, Shadowhunter or Downworlder- and pushed the thought away, feeling strange.

Kit yawned against Ty before tilting his head up, so Ty could see the familiar blue of his eyes, sleepily blinking open. Kit was looking at Ty the way he only sometimes did (Ty had noticed), open and unguarded.

“Hey,” Kit greeted. His voice was different in the morning, deeper.

“Hi.” Ty didn’t know what to say. He was processing the look Kit was giving him, trying to figure it out.

Kit seemed to take in the space around him, realizing the closeness between the two of them, their twisted limbs and the contact. Ty watched, almost in slow motion, as Kit’s eyes widened, his expression dropping into one he couldn’t decipher.

“Is… Is everything okay?” Ty was only asking because it felt like something had changed. Kit looked hesitant now, not as open as before. It was strange how someone’s mannerisms could change in a split second.

He half expected Kit to move away from him, with the odd look he was now wearing, but he didn’t. They were still spiraled around each other, neither one of them moving. Ty didn’t know if he was supposed to move away or not, but the idea of it felt wrong, like after it happened he would have to repair whatever had been broken.

Thankfully, Kit seemed to decide something, and given that he was so close, Ty could feel Kit relax beside him. “I- Yes.”

“Good,” Ty didn’t know why he was smiling. There were a lot of things he didn’t know right now. “Um… How did you sleep?”

Kit raised an eyebrow, morphing his features into mockery. “How did I sleep?”

Ty was confused, was that not the right thing to say? In truth, he didn’t know what he wanted to say to Kit right now. Whatever was happening; between that fact that neither of them had moved away from each other or that Kit was still dazed from sleep, the moment felt impossibly fragile. Like glass, if either of them were to back away it would shatter.

Kit must have noticed Ty’s confusion, because he ducked his head, laughing into Ty’s chest. “Sorry, it’s just, you’ve never asked me something like that before. Or maybe you have and I just hadn’t noticed.”

“I didn’t know that asking if someone slept well or not was strange.”

“It’s not,” Kit, despite saying this, was still laughing, his face hidden where Ty couldn’t see it. “Sorry, I’m being an ass. I slept fine, great actually, how about you?”

“Great,” Ty echoed. And it was the truth. “I was thinking about-”

“No,” Kit interrupted before Ty could finish. “I don’t want to hear it.”

“You don’t even know what I was going to say.”

“It was something about researching, wasn’t it?” Kit lifted his chin up again, enough so he could see Ty. Whatever was written on Ty’s face must have answered his question, because he was smiling again. “I knew it. I know you too well.”

“You do,” Ty agreed, mostly because he didn’t want to argue. They still had a long day ahead of them and although he knew they should get started on searching through the library, he couldn’t bring himself to move. Kit seemed to have the same thought in his head; his eyes were still airy and light, the color of shallow ocean water.

It was that comparison that prompted Ty into a lecture about marine life and underwater coral reefs, shipwrecks and different types of fish. As Ty talked, springing facts like ‘did you know there are areas in the ocean that can’t maintain sea life’ and observations like ‘pterophyllum are in aquariums all around the world’, Kit listened, letting Ty ramble on and on until he stopped because he didn’t know what he was saying anymore. It was nice, talking out loud about things he was interested in. It was even nicer to have somebody to listen.

When Ty finished talking, Kit was looking at him with that same look, the one Ty couldn’t quite place.

“What is it?” Ty asked.

Kit didn’t seem to hear him. “Hmm?”

“You’re looking at me like...” Ty couldn’t finish his sentence because he didn’t know the rest of it himself. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

It was apparently not the right thing to say, and Ty could see the exact moment when Kit made sense of it, his expression turning panicked. Before Ty could do anything about it, Kit rolled away from him. Ty felt the sudden absence of Kit’s body, the empty warmth.

Ty brought himself to his elbows, trying to keep his hands from giving away the disorientation he felt. “Did I say something wrong?”

Kit was still on the bed but he was a good distance away, far enough that Ty would have to extend his arm in order to touch him. “No. No, you didn’t.”

Ty looked at him, trying to figure out what had changed in the past minute. Kit was visibly concerned and he didn’t know what to do about it, or what had caused it.

However, he didn’t have any time to evaluate it because Kit got to his feet.

“Kit?” Ty felt slightly stunned.

“It’s been a while. We should get ready and head to the library,” was all Kit said before he walked out the door, leaving Ty alone on the bed, staring after him until he disappeared across the threshold.

As if he had never been there at all.

**  
  
**

The Institute’s library, while usually calm, was currently a roaring space of noise.

Julian was pacing around the bookshelves with a beaming Tavvy circling him like an attentive animal. Ty could see the occasional worried glance Emma sent her former parabatai from where she stood across the room, conversing with a chattering Jaime. Helen and Cristina were bent around a long table where the list of names of the bar attendants they had retrieved from the night before were displayed. The only inhabitant of the Institute who wasn’t present was Mark, who was keeping watch of the demon in the foyer.

Ty was isolated from the rest of the room, reading on a chair. His headphones were on, the cord snaking underneath his sweatshirt until it was no longer visible. Ty was concentrating on the book in his hands, reading feverishly, trying to find anything that might help Livvy.

To anyone else, it may have seemed strange that Ty was so far away from everyone. Even with Ty’s dislike of loud noises, he had always managed to find a comfortable place with his family, no matter how loud or quiet they were. Even when Ty would be reading Sherlock Holmes, he could multitask, lifting his head to hear the rising and falling voices of his family while he read the pages.

But he wasn’t reading Sherlock Holmes, and he had to soak up any spare fact that they could use to help Livvy. It was easier, with his full attention, to bookmark pages, noting possible paragraphs that he could examine later. 

From across the room, Aline was frantically sending fire-messages, as well as calls, to the names that Cristina and Helen spoke to her. Ty knew that there was no point in reaching out, but it seemed to be their only option. Even from far away, Ty could sense the anxiety throughout the entire room, specifically from Julian. His brother had an edged tone around him when he felt useless, and in a way, Ty shared that with him. As much as Julian felt useless that they didn’t seem to be getting anywhere with the investigation, Ty felt the same way; although it related to his inability to help Livvy. On any other occasion, Ty would have gone up to his older brother, giving him a simple look that said, ‘I know. I know how you feel.’ But he couldn’t, not about this. There was only one person he could talk to about it and he was still confused as to what had happened earlier, when Kit had left Ty’s room without saying why.

Ty spotted Kit across the room, sitting at a table with Dru. Ty could see that Dru was trying to get Kit to help her look into a list of names, but he was pushing her aside, trying to focus on his own demon book that he was reading. Ty was glad that they were both looking for information. Ty had already gone through two books; bookmarked certain pages, although there was nothing particularly important standing out to him.

The thought that maybe he wouldn’t find anything at all was rising within him, no matter how much he tried to focus on the words in front of him. To refrain his hands from fluttering in the air (which would be evidence of his anxiety), Ty was crinkling the edges of paper with his fingertips. As he did this, he realized he was shaking slightly, and averted his attention from the book, moving his eyes over the library. Ty found that focusing on other things for a short period of time was extremely beneficial to calm his nerves. It was part of the reason he read so much, every time he did was like taking a break from his world for a while; bringing him somewhere where none of his own problems existed.

But they did exist and Ty wasn’t doing a very good job at hiding the tension in himself, and he knew it. Thankfully, everyone was too caught up in the investigation to notice.

As it had turned out, the victims of the beach attacks had nothing unusual to report. Earlier that morning, Julian had explained that without any leads, the Institute’s only plan was to reach out to the attendees of the Druid’s Tavern the night of the demon attack. Given it was the only attack location that they had names from, it seemed like the most reliable option.

Now, Jaime and Emma were phoning the individuals who had chosen to respond to Aline’s messages. The constant ringing, as well as the other noises throughout the room, were unusual for the space.

Ty took a deep breath, closing his eyes and letting the sound of classical music coming from his headphones lighten his nerves. He was absently rubbing his fingertips against the book cover, focusing on the texture of it. Reminding himself that everything had detail made him feel calmer, in a way.

When he opened his eyes, after he had settled down, he met Kit’s gaze from across the room. Kit was seeing right through him again, recognizing the signs of Ty’s nervousness. Ty wasn’t sure if he felt gratitude for it or if he wished it would go unnoticed.

Kit looked like he was going to mouth something to Ty, whether it was a reassuring comment or something else, Ty never got to find out.

Emma’s excited voice filtered through the library, “Found something!”

Ty felt his heart race increase again, turning to see where Emma was beaming on the opposite side of the room. Ty caught sight of Helen’s face, flooded with relief from where she was sitting down. He even heard Dru say, “Thank the Angel.”

Ty’s first instinct was to turn back to Kit, wanting to see if his own stress was reflecting back at him. When Kit looked over his shoulder, Ty identified that Kit was returning the same questioning look to him. Ty pulled his headphones down, feeling his face pale.

Everyone was looking expectedly at Emma. She had thankfulness written across her face, surely from the idea of action. Out of all the Institute, Emma was the one who was always thrilled for battle; Ty was positive that she was just as restless at the slowness of the investigation as everyone else. He had grown up with her as an older sister, and she had always had that fierceness about her.

“Werewolves,” Emma grinned, removing the phone from her ear and facing them all. “At the bar that night.”

Ty knew that werewolves were popular there, which was why he was confused at Emma’s excitement. He could understand if they were rare but they were hardly-

“How many?” Jaime asked, leaning forward. He had the same spark of anticipation in his eyes.

It just now occurred to Ty that they were _all_ stressed in one way or another. But now, the first glimpse of something was flickering throughout the room; Aline brightening, Cristina radiating enthusiasm. Everyone was awaiting the details from Emma patiently, all hopeful. 

Almost everyone. Ty tensed, although he knew it was probably nothing. It couldn’t be anything. There wasn’t anything to find.

He curled one of his hands to his side, but he couldn’t stop the other one from moving in the air next to him, unrestrainable.

“They didn’t say,” Emma informed. She had only been on the phone with the individual for a few minutes. “Multiple of them, seven or eight I’d imagine.”

“And?” Ty wasn’t sure who had said it. He was far enough away that he could hear all the words but couldn’t match them to their owners.

He stood from where he was sitting, bringing two books with him as he started over to where Dru and Kit were.

“They were at the bar, not on the rooftop. They said that objects, illegal objects, were being passed around. Between werewolves and other Downworlders.”

Aline tipped her head back. “That… Hmm.”

“Why would they admit to that?” Helen asked, sharing a glance with Aline.

_What does that have to do with anything?_

Julian spoke next, trying to get facts before they questioned the sketchiness of the situation. “What did they say was being passed around?”

“They didn’t,” Emma answered. “They said we had to see it for ourselves.”

Cristina glanced up at Emma, her posture falling. She wore her usual practical expression, sweet while also intelligent. “Werewolves wouldn’t do that. In recent years…”

She trailed off but her warning hung in the air, ‘It’s suspicious’.

“It sounds like bullshit to me,” Kit mumbled, low enough that only Dru (who was sitting next to him) and Ty, (who was now standing behind the two of them) could hear him.

Ty tried to think of it from Kit’s point of view and found that he agreed. Kit had been surrounded by Downworlders his entire life, and while it wasn’t impossible for Downworlders to commit any crimes, it was unlikely that they would tell Shadowhunters about their habits if they did. The suspicion was in the vagueness of the information given, it was the fact that- whether illegal objects were being traded or not- it didn’t connect to the investigation at all. The main problem was that Ty couldn’t say anything about it, and neither could Kit.

It was that thought that sparked an idea.

Ty focused back on Emma, to see that hesitation was beginning to display on her face.

“Where?” Ty asked.

He was met with silence. Dru and Kit startled at Ty’s voice, seeming not to realize that he had left his chair and came to stand behind them.

Ty swallowed, hoping the pulse in his neck didn’t give away his wariness. He knew that his family, especially Julian, could notice his actions. “Where did they say to meet them? You said they wanted to show us…”

Emma told Ty the street name as well as the address of the meeting spot, if they chose to go. Ty wasn’t familiar with the area but he saw Kit’s eyes flare with recognition. In his mind, Ty filed away the address, storing it for later.

Emma turned to Julian. “What do you think?”

“It’s a decent area,” Julian replied. “That doesn’t mean there isn’t danger there.”

Jaime sighed dramatically. “We’re going there.”

“Jaime-” Cristina began. She opened her mouth to provide the oddness of the situation to him but Julian was already nodding at Jaime in agreement.

“It’s all we’ve got,” Julian stated. “I’ll admit it seems suspicious…We’ll have to go prepared, multiple of us. But if there’s a chance that any of these objects the werewolves are talking about could help us with a connection of some sort… We might as well try.”

Dru instantly got to her feet. “I’ll go. So will Ty and Kit.”

Dru was eager to leave the Institute, Ty realized. She must have been as tired of the library as everyone else.

“Kit and I have something to do here,” Ty said, shaking his head.

From the corner of his eye, he could see Kit flinch at the sudden sentence, but he managed to look settled after that. No one else seemed to notice.

Dru was looking between the two of them, contemplating. Ty tried to offer her a reassuring look but she already turned back to Julian, “I’ll go then.”

“Me too,” Jaime said.

Ty heard Emma and Julian also step up. As much as he was focused on the scene in front of him, Ty was thinking his mind coming up with a plan.

Ty leaned over to where Kit was sitting, making sure his voice was lowered.

“Bring the books,” was all that Ty said to Kit before he returned his attention to Emma, who was saying they would head to meet the werewolves at the given location after a few hours. Ty imagined they would have to finish calling the rest of the customers beforehand.

Good, that would leave time.

Kit grabbed at the top three books in his pile, seeing that Ty already had his own bookmarked ones in his hand.

Ty saw Kit wave to Dru before they left the library, approaching the doorway. When they emerged in the hallway, it was eerily silent. The only sound that could be heard was the faint noise of Tavvy (who had joined Mark in the foyer) and Mark’s voices from a distant space.

Ty was worried for a moment that he didn’t know what to say to Kit, given the awkwardness that had been apparent ever since Kit had left Ty’s room earlier that morning, but Kit was the first to speak as Ty started moving through the hallways.

“Are we getting a change of scenery?” Kit asked Ty. “We could read on the beach or either of our rooms… Or we could go to-”

Ty stopped in his footsteps.

“What are you talking about?” Ty tilted his head to Kit, trying to read him.

“Uh… The books? Researching? Livvy?” Kit swallowed nervously at Ty. Clearing his throat he glanced at him again, “Isn’t that what we’re doing?”

Realization dawned inside Ty; Kit didn’t have the same idea as him.

“We’re going to the apartment,” Ty answered simply. He turned around, continuing his route.

“We’re what?” Kit wasn’t following. “What apartment?”

Now it was Ty’s turn to look confused. “The address Emma gave us. It’s an apartment complex, right? She gave us the name of the building and the room number.”

“But I thought we weren’t-”

Kit cut off and looked at Ty again. Ty was pleased to see newfound understanding in his eyes.

“Yeah,” Ty answered sheepishly. “We need to go there.”

“It doesn’t mean anything,” Kit quickly said. “It doesn’t have anything to do with Livvy… Right?”

“I know,” Ty said. He turned his face away from Kit. “It’s a hoax, I‘m sure of it. That’s exactly why we’re going there.”

“That doesn’t make any sense.”

“I can’t tell them the truth,” Ty replied. He heard his own voice in his ears, it was grave, shallow but dark. “We don’t know what the werewolves are planning for us when we get there… We don’t even know if they are werewolves.”

Kit stared at him.

“We have to consider all our options,” Ty worded. “Like I said last night, I don’t want anyone getting hurt because of me… Or because of what I can’t tell them.”

“You want to do this out of guilt,” Kit breathed. “You feel responsible for them.”

“They’re my family,” Ty replied with no hesitation. “Aren’t I responsible a little bit?”

“I-” Kit stopped himself, almost as if he were unsure what to say next. “What’s your idea?”

“We’re going to the apartment, we’ll look around and see if anything’s off; If there’s anyone there that shouldn’t be. If this whole thing is false.”

“And if it is?”

Ty shrugged. “We’ll warn Jules and the rest. If it’s exactly as it should be, werewolves that are only trying to help, we’ll leave.”

“Just like that?”

“Just like that.”

Kit looked considerate, glancing at Ty sideways. “But you don’t really believe that, do you?”

“Do I not believe what?” He partly knew the answer, but he wanted Kit to say it.

“That nothing strange is going on.”

“No,” Ty agreed. “I don’t believe it. I don’t think anyone really thinks so but they’re all desperate enough to need to at least try to figure something out.”

Kit pressed on. “And you also don’t think it’s just werewolves.”

“I don’t know,” Ty said. “Recently I’m questioning everything.”

He looked over his shoulder, eyes meeting Kit’s for a split second before returning to look ahead. Ty wasn’t sure if he meant anything but that phrase or not. And if he did, he wasn’t sure exactly what it was.

“Do you know how long it takes to get there?” Ty asked, positive that Kit knew the area.

“A few hours, it’s a little bit outside of LA.” 

That one sentence convinced Ty that his thought process was right, what were werewolves, if they even were werewolves, doing at a bar hours from where they lived? Although Ty had only been to the tavern twice (and hadn’t gone there for anything other than Shadowhunter business) he knew that it wasn’t anything worth a huge amount of distance. Something was off.

“Put gear on,” Ty said. “I’ll meet you at Julian’s car in a minute.”

“We’re taking Julian’s car?”

“Why not?”

Kit dropped his jaw in surprise. “Why not? He’ll murder us.”

Ty smiled at that, lightening the mood. “Not me.”

Kit gaped at Ty in horror.

When Kit’s frightened look didn’t change, Ty drew his eyebrows together. “Wait, you don’t actually think… Julian wouldn’t hurt us. Either of us. Not for anything as simple as that… Not for anything.”

“No, I know…” Kit regained himself. Ty relaxed. Kit awkwardly laughed, “It’s just that Julian can be downright scary sometimes.”

Ty became puzzled again. He was sure that if he wasn’t holding his books with both hands, his palms would be disturbing the air as they usually did when he was feeling specific emotions.

Julian was ruthless sometimes, yes. But he wasn’t-

“Never mind,” Kit said. “Julian’s great, but sometimes… I guess what I’m trying to say is that we all have a darker side of us. I’ve seen it in everyone… I see it in me.”

Did that mean something? 

Instead of replying, Ty moved down the hallway. Before they got to the foyer where Mark and Tavvy were, Ty turned to Kit, “And bring the books.”

“These ones?” Kit gestured to the demon books in his hands.

“We have a few hours in the car,” Ty said. “Might as well see if we can find anything to help Livvy while we do it.”

Ty entered the foyer first, greeting Mark and Tavvy. While he talked to his two brothers, Kit slinked through the hallways to get their training gear and weapons. Given that Ty wasn’t familiar with the area they were going, he made sure his phone was in his pocket, and just in case of action, his headphones around his neck.

  
  


“Five minutes,” Ty said from the passenger’s seat. “We’ll be there in five minutes.”

Kit feigned a thankful sigh, before listening to the last instructions from the GPS. They had driven for a few hours, weaving in and out of traffic until they found their way into navigating alleyways and sidestreets. Ty had wanted Kit to drive, claiming that he wanted to scour information on demonic energy.

Ty wasn’t sure how late in the day it was; it was before sunset but California was rapidly cooling down as the sun sank lower to the ground. Now that he was dressed in gear, Ty could feel the last warmth of the rays being drawn to the black material.

Taking another left, Kit glanced at Ty. “Find anything?”

He was referring to the books that Ty had gone through, and by Ty’s returned sullen look, he was sure Kit knew he had yet to find anything useful. Before Ty could respond to the question, his phone pinged.

Returning his eyes to the road, Kit said, “Who is it?”

Ty slid the phone back into his pocket. “Jules. Asking where the car is.”

“Asking where the car is,” Kit repeated. Despite it all, Ty saw that he was smiling. “Look at us; stealing cars and getting ready to fight some werewolves.”

“We didn’t steal it. It was unlocked,” Ty said. Aside from his own comment, Ty was smiling also. Kit glanced over at him and saw it, grinning wider. Ty noticed his look and met his eye for a moment before they landed on his cheekbone. “I feel like we’re fifteen again.”

Fifteen. It felt like forever ago.

“After this is over, want to make a dent in the car, just to spite Julian?”

Ty jerked his head to Kit, eyes wide. When he saw Kit beaming, he settled, absorbing the joke.

Buildings and shops rushed by them, quickly enough that Ty would have had to turn his head to catch the names of them. The car windows were down, music was playing on a station Kit had picked, and the wind was everywhere. Ty wanted to laugh at the normalcy of the moment, it was almost enough to forget everything else.

The wind that came in the car was mild enough that it didn’t bother Ty with the noise, but he could still feel it move through his hair. It was nice; so, so nice.

He heard Kit laughing next to him; laughing at nothing at all, laughing at _everything._ When Ty turned to him, he could see that Kit had that same look in his eye as he had when he woke up, the clearness of it.

Ty found himself chasing after the look, trying to catch it before it was gone; not knowing exactly what it was, but remembering that it had been there one moment and had disappeared the next. The same feeling washed over Ty, the same one that he got after they had fought the sea demons when he had followed Kit to the bar, after Livvy had left, when Ty had reached his hand to Kit, brushing his hand over his shoulder, just because he wanted to. Because it felt like it needed to be done.

Now, Ty found himself reaching a hand out, not quite sure what he was doing, what he wanted to do.

Another ping. This time it wasn’t Julian, but the GPS navigation. Ty’s hand lingered in the air for a moment, before he retracted it, bringing it back to his side. He turned to the window, looking at the area around them.

“Turn here,” Ty said, pointing to a parking lot less than a block away from their location, pushing off whatever he had or hadn’t been about to do. From here they could see the ocean over a variety of small buildings; it was sparkling under the late sun. Kit parked quickly, turning off the car.

“Ready?”

Ty nodded, pulling out a stele and drawing a variety of different runes on his arm. Kit did the same, finishing before Ty and pulling their weapons out of the backseat.

“Did you tell Julian we had his car?” Kit asked, hopping out of his seat and circling to the head of the vehicle.

“I did,” Ty replied. “I didn’t say where we had taken it though.”

Kit handed him his seraph blade then grabbed his own. “If they just started driving now, we’ve made great timing.”

Ty began walking through the parking lot, heading toward where larger buildings interrupted the skyline. “The apartment is on the second floor, room 27.”

“How are we going to get in there?”

“The window,” Ty answered casually.

“How will we know which room it is?”

“While you were driving, I pulled up a layout of the complex. It’s small enough that it was easy to find.”

Ty was prepared for climbing, two stories were hardly challenging. The problem would be getting into the room from the outside. Ty signaled at their destination; a red brick building with railed balconies. Rusted fire escapes would make it much easier to get to the closest window.

Ty pointed at a window on the far right, a balcony just above the fire escape. “That one, there.”

Kit nodded. 

From where they were standing, Ty could see that behind the glass, there was no movement. From below, even with the enhanced sight rune, he couldn’t see within.

“What do you think will be in there?” Ty asked.

“Hopefully, werewolves doing werewolfish things.” When Ty gave him a serious look, Kit shrugged. “I honestly don’t know.”

“Me either. I have my phone on me, so if we need to call anyone…”

He didn’t continue but he knew Kit understood. If they needed it, help would come.

They stood in front of the building a few moments later, looking up through the bars and rust of the fire escape. Ty was the first to begin descending it, moving bar to bar. Instead of using it the normal way, Ty was using the bars to remain upright while he found the grooves of the bricks, to avoid having attention drawn to him. Ty had always been a good climber, from a lifetime of experience.

When Ty was a few feet off the ground, he looked down, making sure Kit was following his path of footholds and handholds. When he saw him, Ty returned to climbing, mapping out the space in his head, remembering what he had seen online.

When they reached the second floor’s level, Ty slowed. Although they had only climbed two stories, the height was more than Ty had assumed. Glancing to his side, he located the room. He spoke down to Kit, “The second balcony to the left.”

Kit nodded, before following Ty in scaling sideways until they reached the sides of the balcony. Not yet on steady flooring, but enough that they could grip the edges of the railing to keep their balance.

“If they look out, they’ll be able to see us,” Kit said.

Ty glanced at him quickly. “We don’t know if anyone’s in there.”

Kit rose an eyebrow. “Seriously?”

“Consider all options, remember? This is the best one I’ve got.”

“Fine,” Kit pushed himself over the rail, pressing against the wall and moving toward the closed window. 

Ty did the same from the other side. Without completely facing the window, Ty could see inside. The half of the room in his vision was empty, bare except for a couch and a non-playing television set. He saw Kit looking in from his vantage point at well, also seeing nothing.

“We didn’t come all this way for nobody to be here,” Kit said. 

“We..” Ty trailed off. It was strange, he hadn’t wanted to fight anything but he was almost disappointed at the absence of action. He had been certain something was off about this.

Ty began looking around the balcony, eyes dusting over the small potted plants; which were all withered and dried up. As Ty did this, Kit returned to looking inside the window again.

“Something’s wrong,” Kit said.

Ty whirled to look at him. “What?”

“The plants,” Kit explained. “They’re dried up. No one’s been watering them.”

Ty pressed himself to the brick again. From this point, he could see that, just as the potted plants on the balcony were, the plants inside were also dried up.

Ty turned to look at Kit, speaking calmly.“I know what you’re thinking, but it doesn’t mean _that_ necessarily. Sometimes people don’t water their plants because they-”

“Headphones,” Kit interrupted.

“What?” Ty gestured to the headphones around his neck.

Kit didn’t wait for him to put them on, he slid them over Ty’s ears himself, then backed up a bit, standing adjacent to the windowpane.

Ty realized what he was doing too late. “Kit, don’t. That’s the worst thing you could-”

But it was emanate that Kit wasn’t listening anymore. Before Ty had finished his sentence, Kit was drawing a rune to allow them to enter the room. It was locked from the inside, but after he applied pressure to the glass, it swung open easily.

“Kit,” Ty hissed a sign of warning, but Kit had already pushed himself through, not bothering to check inside beforehand. It was an ignorant action, but there was nothing Ty could do to stop him, Kit was already inside the apartment.

Ty entered behind him, wincing at the sudden grotesque smell. It was the ugly, nauseating stench of death, rising from within the room.

Kit was already looking around the room, first searching for direct threats, which there didn’t appear to be. Ty moved forward, seeking where the ungodly odor was coming from.

Then, Ty saw it.

Behind the main view of the bed, was a crumpled woman. She was fully clothed but instead of her limbs facing the right direction, they were completely disfigured, pulled from their sockets. Blood doused around her, still running down her arms and splattered around her broken limbs. Her eyes were long ago lifeless. Just a vessel for a body that no longer had a soul.

Ty didn’t see any runes on her, so he assumed she was a mundane.

“It’s a trap,” Ty said, taking in the dead woman. “Kit, we need to go.”

Kit had come to stand next to him, wincing at the woman. Ty pried his eyes away from him, looking around the apartment room, looking for anything they could use too-

Kit was still frozen, stock-still looking down at the body. “Why would… Why would somebody do this?”

Ty took his best guess, comparing it to situations that had often occurred in the past. “Somebody that hates Nephilim. Trying to act like Shadowhunters did this, framing them. That’s why they called us here… Somebody wants revenge for something else.”

It wasn’t very thought out, that was for sure. Ty predicted that whoever had done this, was waiting until the time Emma and the others planned to show up themselves, then they would take action. Ty didn’t dwell on thinking about it, he and Kit were wasting time.

“If they wanted to frame them then they would have to be here, wouldn’t they? So they could have proof, whether it was false or not.”

“I don’t think that-”

It was then that the door to what Ty assumed was the bathroom opened, revealing a burly man with dark hair and dark eyes. Kit’s face turned ashen and Ty held out his seraph blade, not in attack but as a warning. Ty felt dense for being so focused on the lifeless body that he hadn’t thought to look past the single room.

The unknown man smiled greedily, his face contorting into madness. Ty could see that he _was_ a werewolf, proof of it were the claw marks on his arm, dark and sunken deep in the skin. But it had been a set up all the same, werewolf or not.

“You did this,” Kit said before Ty could stop him. “You’re setting us up.”

“I thought you were coming here later,” the man said in a sickenly sweet voice. “But then again, now will do just fine.”

With that, he lunged forward. Ty saw a quick flash of grey and processed that a knife was in the man’s hand. Ty managed to move out of the way before any damage could be done to him. Kit was already eyeing the man, sizing him up.

“We can’t kill him,” Ty yelled to Kit, just as the man moved toward Ty in ferocity, again. Ty wasn’t sure how hurting either of them would lead to framing them, but he didn’t dwell on it. He was looking around the room, searching for something they could use to prevent the man from attacking them, he didn’t want to use his seraph blade until it was absolutely necessary.

He grabbed the nearest wooden chair, halfheartedly swinging it until it crushed into the man’s side, earning a large groan from him. Beyond the low music in his ears, he could hear the wood shutter as it collided with the man and was suddenly thankful that Kit had forced him to put his headphones on. 

Kit nodded to the open window, speaking to Ty with his eyes. Ty understood this much, they had to get out of here.

Ty started to the window, heading back to daylight. They needed to get in a non-confined space, somewhere they could come up with a way to harm the man, but not kill him. Doing that would mess multiple things up and Ty and Kit were already swimming knee-deep in their own problems. Ty didn’t think he would be able to handle anything else.

Ty glanced behind him to see the werewolf, still in man-form, moving across the ground, not as fast as before but with remaining strength. Kit raced toward the window, slightly behind Ty.

Ty remembered the short climb up the building, and found he wasn’t worried about jumping. It was a reasonable distance, they were both runed. As long as they landed healthily it would be fine. Anything was better than staying in a trashed apartment room with a dead body and a hectic werewolf.

“Jump,” Kit yelled to Ty.

Ty took his word without a second thought, heaving over the balcony and to the flat of the ground. Around him the world was a rush, everything was exhilarating, and then he hit the group firmly, rising to his feet.

When Ty was standing upright, he turned, settling his gaze on the balcony, prepared for Kit to jump over and land next to him. He had no doubt the werewolf would follow them… From there they could try to knock him unconscious… Text Julian… Make sure the man was restrained and unable to get away until they had figured out what had really been going on here tonight. After that, Ty would most likely have to deal with taking Julian’s car without asking as well as showing up here, but he wasn’t worried too much about that.

From where he was standing below, he saw Kit on the balcony, preparing to jump. Ty could see the man behind him, climbing out of the window, half-way through with his arms extended. Briefly, Ty spotted the knife that was still held tightly in his palms.

Just as he had noticed it, he saw, just as slowly, when the man heaved it through the air, aiming at Kit. Although it was a small knife, it flashed quickly, pivoting at rapid speed toward Kit.

Ty inhaled sharply, unable to shout because the scene was unfolding too fast before him. Kit was midway to pushing himself from the railing when the knife struck him in the side, moving through his gear. The force of it, as well as the surprise of it, caused Kit to lose his balance, toppling over the balcony. Ty saw Kit’s features whiten as he fell, moving toward the ground uncontrollably.

Kit landed horribly, on the side that the knife had struck him. Ty could see that the knife was still within Kit, impaling into where his ribs were. Ty heard Kit curse and he instinctively moved toward him. On normal occasions the fall would have been easy but Kit’s loss of footing made the collapse excruciating. Paired with the knife buried in his side, Ty was sure pain was shooting throughout Kit’s entire body.

Somewhere above him, Ty could hear the man following them from the apartment building, jumping downwards. Before he reached the ground, Ty recgonized that Kit was still conscious, but wasn’t making any sudden movement. He was still laying on the pavement, on his side, muttering provocatives into the air.

As much as Ty wanted to help him, the werewolf had already dropped to the ground, eyes narrowed on Ty. Drawing the man away from Kit, Ty rounded him, holding the seraph blade in front of himself. He was waiting for the man to make the first move, hoping that he could get a good hit to his head.

Fortunately, the man lashed out at him, lowering his head in an attempt to knock Ty off his feet. Ty dodged him easily, eager to check on Kit, and brought the seraph blade’s edge to the top of the man’s head. The end of it hit him on his temple; not enough force to kill him, but enough that the man fell sideways, his large body splaying across the ground in unconsciousness.

Ty didn’t wait for the man to hit the ground, he was already whirling on Kit. “Kit... Kit?”

“He threw the knife,” Ty heard Kit struggling to say. Ty saw that where the knife was stuck in his side, blood was beginning to drip out of the wound. Aside from this, Kit was still talking through gritted teeth, “Are you going to tie him up? That way when everyone gets here they can take him and-”

“We need to get you back to the car,” Ty said, looking around worriedly. “Shit.”

He didn’t think that the knife could do a severe amount of damage, but combined with the fall as well as the placement of the blade, he wasn’t entirely sure.

“Can you stand?” Ty asked hurriedly.

Kit stifled a grunt. Ty could see Kit manage to turn his body, so he was laying on his chest. Ty watched Kit struggle to push himself up with his hands, eventually making it to his knees before he sloped back downwards.

Alarm flooded through Ty at Kit’s crumpled figure. He knew that he probably should be monitoring the werewolf, but he couldn’t tear his eyes off of Kit. He shuddered when Kit tried to raise himself up again, and fell to the cement, harder this time.

“Here, let me help you…” Ty was instantly at his side, making his body a crutch for Kit to lean against. “You need an iratze. We need to get to the car before this guy wakes up again.”

Kit groaned. “We need to tie him up, Ty. Or he’s going to get away and then-”

Ty pulled him up, winding an arm around his shoulder, ignoring Kit.

“You’re more important.” Ty’s reply was sharp, leaving no room for disagreement. “The parking lot’s close, I just need you to try to move your legs.”

“It was the fall,” Kit managed. “I landed bad.”

Ty nodded in response, focusing on the area around them. Kit was heavier than he expected him to be, and he was only bearing half his body weight on Ty. In order to move, Ty had to half-drag him through the alleyways.

He tried not to think about the blood that was originating from the knife, still stuck in Kit’s side. Ty was desperate to get back to the parking lot, where the car was.

“You need to pull the knife out, don’t you? Isn’t that how this works?”

“You’ll just lose more blood. Car first, then I’ll pull it out, then iratze.” Ty was shaking, which wasn’t making it any easier to move quickly.

“You need to text Julian,” Kit said. “Tell him to get that guy and too-”

Ty angrily replied, “Stop. I’m helping you first.”

“But we can’t just let him-”

Ty felt frustration rise up within him; not exactly at Kit, but more at his own slowness. Kit didn’t seem to have a hard time talking, which was a good thing, but Ty could see the sweat layering his skin; evidence of the pain. Also, Kit’s words came out heavy, like he was pushing to get them out.

“Ty,” Kit said again. “You need to-”

“Kit. No. I need to make sure you’re okay first. After that I’ll text Julian.”

“Ty-”

Ty made a noise of distress, moving quicker so that the parking lot was in their eye range. Kit was clinging to Ty like he was a lifeboat in the middle of the ocean. The farther they went, the less effort Kit was making into moving. Every few seconds or so, Ty would look down at him, just to make sure he was still breathing normally.

“This is all my fault,” Ty said. “We shouldn’t have come here.”

“I was the one who got stabbed and fell.”

“I shouldn’t have jumped so early. I could have stayed and we could have fought him off until-”

Ty cut off abruptly when Kit made another gasping noise, his chest spasming. Ty moved faster, using all his strength to cross the parking lot until Kit was resting against the closed car door on the outside of the vehicle, facing the colored sky.

It was hard to read Kit’s facial expression as Ty pulled out his stele, moving Kit so he could get a firm look at the knife. His gear was sticky with blood, Ty had to take it off so he could spot everything correctly.

Ty could see that Kit, no matter how normal he seemed, was using strength to keep himself upright against the car. He was biting his lip, his eyes closed, twitching slightly as Ty inspected where the blade met his skin.

“This is going to hurt,” was all Ty said before he ripped the knife from Kit. Instantly Kit was yelling, cursing, doing everything in his power to unleash the pain. Ty said something reassuring but he doubted Kit could hear him over himself.

As soon as the knife was out of his skin, Ty pressed the gear Kit had been wearing against the wound. It did little to stop the blood pooling out from there. With his other hand, Ty pressed his stele to Kit’s side, tracing his stele over Kit’s skin. When Ty was done with the iratze, he felt Kit breathe deeper, leaning back.

There was blood all over Ty’s hands and clothes, all from Kit.

Ty pulled Kit to a higher position, then pushed him against the closed door. He angled Kit to where his side was pressed firmly against the car.

“Keep pressure on it, okay?” Ty was fairly sure he had read that somewhere.

Kit’s eyes were glazed over, Ty didn’t know if he was listening or not.

Keep him talking, Ty told himself. “Kit?”

Kit nodded, looking over at Ty.

“Text Julian,” Kit said, his voice raw. “Not about me… I’m fine… But about the guy.”

Ty finally complied, pulling his phone out. He made sure to keep a hand on Kit, making sure he didn’t slide down the car. As he did so, he texted Julian a brief explanation of what had happened, adding that he wasn’t sure if the man would still be there when they finally arrived.

When he was done, he looked back at Kit, looking over him for bruises.

“Where else does it hurt?” Ty asked softly. He had pulled his headphones off, not wanting to miss a single thing Kit said.

Kit didn’t answer him, he still had a faraway look in his eyes. “You texted Julian?”

“Yes,” Ty replied. And then again, “Do you need any more _iratzes?_ ”

“No,” Kit panted. Ty took the opportunity to look him up and down, checking to see if he was being honest or not. Kit was feverish, Ty could feel the body heat radiating off of him, just as he had this morning.

“I’m putting another one on you,” Ty said, regardless of Kit’s answer. He inked another iratze over Kit’s skin, avoiding the dried blood.

When he leaned back to check his work, Kit was laughing; his chest heaving against the crackled sound.

Ty looked up, concerned.

“This hurts like hell,” Kit said through laughter. Ty wasn’t sure whether he was referring to his bruises or the act of laughing.

Ty didn’t know what was going on.

Using Kit’s distraction, he began to mop at the blood stains, trying to lessen them. In the back of his mind, he was attempting to figure out what he was going to do next.

“Ty,” Kit breathed, no longer laughing but just smiling now. Not his usual grin, but a dazed one that Ty had never seen before. “I think I’m going to pass out.”

“You’re dramatic,” Ty responded. “That would be the third time in the last two weeks.”

Although he had tried for humor, Ty’s words came out shaky. Kit would be fine, he knew that. However, he still felt unsettled. It was startling, seeing Kit in pain.

Kit blinked, pressing himself against the car. “I know. Should we… Should we get in the car?”

Ty shook his head. “Not until you stop bleeding.”

“I _did_ stop bleeding.”

Ty frowned. “If you start again I don’t want to-”

“We should get out of here,” Kit said. “We’re in the middle of the open.”

Ty looked around, taking in the empty parking lot. “No one’s here.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

Ty avoided Kit’s stare, instead turning his head to glance around them. The streets beyond were empty, Ty didn’t spot a single pedestrian wandering the pavement. It wouldn’t have mattered if anyone did see them, Ty reminded himself, they were both glamoured.

“Ty,” Kit said. His voice brought Ty’s attention back to him. Hearing the hesitation in his voice, Kit flicked his eyes down to where the wound was, seeing that, despite the two iratzes, blood was still continuing to spill from the gash. It wasn’t life-threatening, but Ty’s heart rate jumped regardless, once again reaching for his stele to aid Kit.

He halted in confusion when Kit batted his hand away. Ty rose his head, “What are you-”

“Ty,” Kit repeated, saying it more seriously this time. “I wanted to tell you something.”

Ty was hardly listening to him, too overwhelmed by Kit’s injury. Once again, he reached forward with his stele, but Kit stopped him.

_What was he doing? Why was Kit not letting Ty help him? Did he not understand that watching Kit in pain was driving Ty insane?_

This time Ty turned, scraping his eyes across Kit. “You’re bleeding again. I’m giving you another iratze.”

Kit moved away from him. “Let me bleed.”

“What? No,” Ty moved closer, stele in hand. “What are you talking about?”

“I need to say something to you,” Kit said.

Ty doubted it was important, Kit had a flare for the dramatic. Even now he could see that Kit was trembling, proof that his body was suffering from where the blood was leaving his body. It would stop if Kit just let him _help._

“I’m not letting you pass out again, Kit. Just let me-”

“No,” Kit flinched away. “I’ll be fine. You can do it in a minute. But first let me-”

“You need an iratze.”

“I don’t need an iratze.”

“Kit, stop arguing.” Ty’s hands were shaking, dancing in the air.

“Maybe it will be better if I pass out, it will make this easier.”

“Kit this isn’t a time for one of your dramatic sayings. You’re hurt.” _Can’t you see you’re hurting me too by resisting?_

Kit sunk back into the solidness of the car. He was heady from blood loss, Ty gathered. From where the blood was smeared, Kit gave the false impression that he was blurring at the edges, becoming a smeared portrait.

Ty fumbled with his stele. “Kit-”

“Ty,” Kit paused, swinging his head upwards, his eyes were clouded. “Ty, look at me.”

Although Ty’s hands were still twitching around him, he looked up. What possibly could have been more important than Kit’s well being? And whatever it was, why was he choosing the most inaccurate time to say it?

Kit visibly hesitated. And then, like it burned him to say it, “I love you.”

Ty instantly flashed back to when Livvy died, remembering that all he had wanted to do was see her one last time. Enough time to tell her he loved her, that no matter where she went he would still love her. And if that’s what Kit thought this was, that he was dying… Then he really was overreacting.

“I love you too. You know that,” Ty replied casually, trying to have a reassuring tone. Kit was being melodramatic, this wasn’t a parting of ways.

Like it meant nothing, he continued on, trying to get Kit to turn his side to him so Ty could apply the iratze.

Kit pulled away from Ty again. If Ty wasn’t so focused on the blood, he would have seen the flash of emotion that crossed Kit’s face. Instead, Ty bowed his head, reaching forward with his stele.

“Ty, no.” Ty had never heard the voice Kit was using.

Ty looked down at him furiously. He couldn’t help being angry; angry that he didn’t know why Kit was pushing the stele away from his wound. “I don’t understand, are you mad at me for trying to help you? Why are you-”

When Ty reached forward again with his stele, Kit caught his wrist in his hand, slumping farther into the car to stop himself from losing consciousness. Unease rose in Ty at the way Kit was acting, Ty couldn’t place what was wrong.

“Kit,” Ty protested. “You need to let me-”

“No. You need to understand first,” Kit shifted, blinking quickly. “As soon as I’m done you can put a healing rune on me.”

“Understand what?” Ty didn’t know if anybody else in this situation would be just as confused, or if it was just himself. Ty could hardly think; half of his mind on the nearness of Kit, the other on the damage to Kit’s side.

“I,” Kit breathed deeply, loosening his grip on Ty’s wrist. It wasn’t forceful, Ty could have pulled away if he wanted to.

He didn’t.

Ty didn’t know what it was, but from where he was facing Kit, he could see the other boy was sweating. His hair was tangled, his eyes fogged over. Something about Kit’s disoriented gaze made Ty pause with the advancements of his stele. Realizing something significant was about to happen, Ty asked, “What is it?”

He watched Kit inhale deeply, almost like he was taking in as much air as possible, so that whatever he said next, he would have enough air to get through it. Ty tensed, doing nothing other than trailing his eyes over Kit’s features.

“I love you. And not… Not like you think I do. Like… I don’t know... Like..”

Ty watched him with heavily lidded eyes. Listening.

Kit started again, looking like he was struggling to formulate words with the shaky breaths of his voice. “The way I feel about you was enough for me to act out because it scared me too much. On the beach, when I said I was going out to get away from you… You took it the wrong way but it was the truth. I can’t be around you without being terrified of how I feel. That’s why I went out all the time, trying to find something to make it go away but it hasn’t and I don’t think it will. You’re right, about me pushing you away and that’s why. _This_ is why.”

Ty’s head was white noise. He wasn’t sure if he was understanding correctly.

“I love being friends with you Ty, please don’t think I don’t but I just… There’s nothing about you that doesn’t make me want to do something different, like hold your hand or… I don’t know. There’s nothing I don’t want to do with you. I love being around you but I’m scared of being alone with you because it just reminds me that I shouldn’t feel the way that I do.”

Ty couldn’t do anything other than stare.

“Does that make sense? You’re just… you’re so,” Kit closed his eyes, breaking off. “I’m not making any sense, am I?”

Ty found that he had forgotten entirely about Kit’s wound. The only sign of it was the breathiness in Kit’s words, like it was a battle to push out every syllable.

“Not friendship love, okay? Or even family love. I mean, yes, obviously but no,” Kit paused, his words slurring together. “I mean that you’re what I want and… I’ve never- you’re the only one is what I mean. There’s no one else that makes me feel like you do.

“It’s been such a long time since I’ve realized it. And I didn’t want to tell you because… Because how could I? I don’t want to ruin our friendship. But you had to know. We said no more lies, right? Well here you go. This is the last one.”

Kit opened his eyes again, looking anywhere but at Ty. “I’m sorry if it makes you uncomfortable. I’ve tried to stop it… I’ve tried so damn hard but I don’t feel the same way with anyone as I do with you. And if you… What I mean is; we don’t have to talk about this ever again if you don’t want to. I don’t want to make you feel like you have to-”

Kit cut off, swearing as a wave of pain swept through his body, originating from the knife wound. Gritting his teeth, he dropped Ty’s arm. Instead of reacting to it like he usually would, Ty was frozen. Kit’s words were still echoing in his ears, swirling around, all overwhelming. Ty hadn’t yet grasped them.

“I needed you to know. Obviously now’s not a good time but there was never going to be a right time so I just… Yeah.”

Ty didn’t know what to say, he had hardly comprehended anything Kit had said. It was too rash, too sudden.

“You’re not,” Ty paused, gathering himself. “You’re not just saying this because you’re hurt? This isn’t a joke?”

Ty knew Kit well enough to know it wasn’t one, but it was the only thing he could think to say. Ty felt the same as he did when he was in large crowds; confined, but instead of being enclosed by strangers, he couldn’t get past the traffic of his own thoughts.

Kit stalled, before whispering, “No, it’s not.”

They sat in silence for a moment. Ty had forgotten the world around them.

Kit’s voice was hoarse when he spoke again. “I… You can put the iratze on now.”

A minute passed, then Kit was blindly being turned; while Ty applied another healing rune to his side. It took all of Ty’s focus to not mess it up. He could feel Kit grimacing next to him, his eyelids sinking.

Ty leaned back once the rune was finished, holding his stele like it was an anchor. He slid his headphones on over his ears, immediately feeling less dazed when they were on. Ty opened his mouth, turning to Kit, but nothing came out.

Kit wasn’t looking at him expectantly, to Ty’s relief. Instead, he had his eyes closed, pressed firmly against the car. Ty did the same, angling his back to the vehicle and resting against it, looking out across the empty parking lot. Beneath the smooth melody flowing from his headphones, Ty could hear his own heartbeat pounding against his chest.

Ty hoped Kit knew he needed a second to think. _More_ than a few seconds.

Almost unaware of it, Ty thumbed the loose headphone cord, wrapping it around his fingers. Kit was quiet beside him, which Ty greatly appreciated. From his pocket, Ty could faintly feel his phone vibrating; no doubt Julian responding to Ty’s texts in his usual frantic order.

They sat like that, side to side; with Kit occasionally groaning at surges of pain and Ty trying to understand his myraid of thoughts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! This chapter was supposed to be a little all over the place so things will be clearer next time haha. Next update soon, thank you all as always! :)

**Author's Note:**

> I'm new to Ao3 so thanks so much for reading my fic. (Is that weird to say? I honestly don't know.) I'm going to be (hopefully) uploading multiple chapters weekly. It would mean the world and more if you would comment, it's always great to get feedback/suggestions on writing and even a single note would make my day! Thank you!


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